Hair

Jokes

How should you address your boss when you can see their hair but their eyes are shaded?

Super Visor!

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A 60 year old man was starting at a 17 year old teen, particularly his hair, on the bus.

The boy, who had just coloured his hair various shades started feeling uncomfortable by the old man's gaze. Unable to take it anymore, the boy shouted - "What is it old man? Can't stomach when people do wild things?"

The old man replied - "I once fucked a peacock when I was teen. Wondering if you're my grandson".


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The crew on the Challenger must have had great hair prior to the shuttle failure.

They found their Head N Shoulders on the shore.

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Kiss my ass!

A Bald man, having tried all the medications and remedies out there, sees an AD for hair transplants and goes to the doctors office.

Bald man: Ive tried everything Doc, how does it all work?

Doc: Well, through our research we have discovered that the strongest hair follicles are located on the skin around the anus. We will extract them from there and meticulously transpla


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What kind of fake hair does a stuttering rapper use?

XXXtentions

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How did they know Princess Diana washed her hair before she died?

They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard

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What's Griffindor favorites hair stylist?

Hair Potter.


Credits to my friend typing error

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Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

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Girlfriend got pulled over by the police today...

My Girlfriend got pulled over today when she was trying to flick her cigarette butt out the window. As she flicked it, it went up the side of her arm and actually lit her arm hair on fire.

Police charged her with possession of an unlicensed firearm.

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Woah, I Lost half my hair. Woah, bottles full of Nair. Half my hair, it said shampoo I swear. Woah bottles full of Nair... BOTTLES FULL OF NAIR.

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Lot of good things about having a mum who's a hairdresser. Getting my hair dyed at home, for example.

That's a personal highlight.

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Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it

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What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?

Push it aside and keep on eating...

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There was an old man who lived by a forest.

As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later


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What is it called when a sick wookie loses all its hair?

Wookemia

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Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Because if you drug them by their feet they'd fill up with dirt

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A bloke I work with says he's dating twins...

I asked him "How do you tell them apart?"
"That's easy..." he says "...Marie's got blonde hair and Brian's got a beard."

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A blonde woman was getting tired of all the blonde jokes she heard, so she dyed her hair and set out to prove them wrong while undercover

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I went to the doctor with hearing problems

He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homer is fat, Lisa is smart and Marge has blue hair"

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All men are the same!

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Why does pussy have hair around it?

To hide the hook.

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While my barber was cutting my hair I was finishing a word search puzzle.

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A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink...

The bartender yells at him, "Hey string, we don't serve your kind here! Get the hell out!" Dejected, the string walks out if the bar, ties himself in a knot, tussles up his hair, and walks back in to order a drink again. The bartender sees him and says, "Hey, aren't you that string I just kicked out?" The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."


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Wow my barber was cutting my hair I was a word search puzzle.

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While my barber was cutting my hair I was solving a word search puzzle.

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I'm probably going to Hell for this one lmao

A daughter walks into her parents' room while her mom's getting changed one morning. She then points to her mother's pubic hair. "Mommy, what's that?" she asks.

"It's my pubic hair," the mother answers.

"Am I going to get that?" the daughter asks.

"Yes, when you're older," the mother answer


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A man forgets his wallet and cant pay the hair dresser

The man said that he would leave his wife at the barber as callaterol.

The hairdresser never saw the money

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Getting a random call at 1 am from your boyfriend asking to see your boobs then not wanting to explain why... turns out he wanted to know if everyone had nipple hair... I love him but damn, you woke me up for this ?

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I wanted to dye my black hair white...

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John comes home and tells Mary he will perform oral sex on her

Mary really excited goes into bed. John gives her oral sex and after they noticed that John had a pubic hair stuck in his teeth. They struggle to get it out but they do not manage to do it. Then John says:

J: Mary I will go to the dentist to help me.

M: If you think this is the best idea then go.

The dentist manages to pull the hair out and ask John:
<


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My wife came home at three in the morning. Lipstick smudged, dress all wonky, hair a mess...

"I never you were a cross dresser," she told me.

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Bill and Fred were chatting.

Bill said I had a terrible sleep last night.

Fred said well I slept like a baby.

Woke up no hair, no teeth and I shit myself:

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What's Black And Thin

Hair U Sick Fuck .

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What do you call pubic hair that is visible?

Public hair

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What do you call pubic hair that visible?

Public hair.

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What do you call pubic hair that visible to everyone?

Public hair

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What kind of hair is okay for everyone to see?

Public hair

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I used to hate facial hair

But then it grew on me.

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I went to the barbers earlier and said I wanted my hair cutting like Tom Cruise.

So he put a cushion on the chair.

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I found my first grey pubic hair today.

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This huge guy broke into my house last night.

I confronted him but he punched me in the stomach then smacked me across the face. While I lay on the ground he stole my wallet, my phone, and then walked out with my TV.

I didn't manage to scratch him or take a photo but rang the police anyway in the hope they'd at least be able to find a stray hair from which to get DNA evidence. But they're was nothing - not a lo


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Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

So their vagina don't get filled with rocks.

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I was out eating at the mall, saw this kid with the wildest spiked colorful hair

the hair was all shades of orange, red, yellow, green and blue.

This old man sitting on the table between us kept staring at him, the teenager finally had it with him and turned around and asked sarcastically; Whats the MATTER old man, never done anything wild in your life?

The old man, without missing a beat said: well... I got real drunk once, had sex with a Parrot. I


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Whats does Donald Trumps hair and a thong have in common?

They both barely cover the asshole.

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Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it

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Trucker

A trucker sees a hippie trying to hitchhike, so he stops and picks the hippie up. The hippie, having long hair and floral clothing asks the trucker: aren't you gonna ask me if I'm a boy or a girl?
The trucker says: it dont matter I'm gone fuck ya anyway

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What does a werewolf and a 50 year old woman have in Common

Nipple hair

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I used to rub and tie my hair together whenever I got stressed.

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I wasn't sure about having hair at first

But it kind of grew on me

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When I started growing my hair out, I really didn't like it at first.

Then it grew on me

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