Grim

Jokes

How do we know the grim reaper has a lip

when people die, he doesn't death-criminate

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My wife caught me chopping up carrots with the Grim Reaper...

...she said “Do you like dicing with death?”

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What did Keanu Reeves say to the Grim Reaper on his deathbed?

“You’re breathtaking!”

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How does the Grim Reaper try to keep healthy?

He makes sure he only eats soul grains

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What do you call a transgender grim reaper?

A death trap.

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How does the Grim Reaper keep his cloak so black?

He uses dye!

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Cheesy joke I came up with last night, enjoy.

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A Joke To Trigger 8 Year Olds!

What hunts for the poor dead souls in the woods?
WELL YOU MAY THINK IT’S THE GRIM REAPER, but you‘d be wrong.
It’s actually Logan Paul.

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What is the Grim Reaper's favorite kind of drink?

Mortali-tea!

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Rjokes is holding a meetup

Thousands of people come, and they need someone to organize them, so the oldest mod, u/Daleeburg
, is chosen to host the event.

"Welcome, Redditors!" He begins as everybody settles in. "We have some very important speakers coming up. I would like to thank--" but u/Daleeburg
never finishes his sentence. Without warning, a hooded figure comes up behind h


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When the Welsh Sikh met the Grim Reaper ..

.. he was Dai Singh with Death.

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Why couldnt the Grim Reaper go to war?

Because he supports all troops

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Jason Voorhees: Celebrity Pet Psychologist

The Grim, Single-Minded Machete-Wielding Determination to End Your Pet’s Behavioral Problems.

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When Gary Kasparov played a game of internet chess with the Grim Reaper, why did he play 1.d4?

Because he knew not to go against 1.e4 c5 when Death is on the line!

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4 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes th


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The Grim Reaper

A woman was sleeping at home with her lover, she suddenly hears her husband knocking on the door, so she immediately makes a prayer "God, please hide my lover and take whatever you want from me." The grim reaper shows up infront of her and says "I will grant your wish, but only on one condition, after two years your life will be taken away from you by means of drowning." The wi


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The Grim Reaper

A woman was sleeping at home with her lover, she suddenly hears her husband knocking on the door, so she immediately makes a prayer "God, please hide my lover and take whatever you want from me." The grim reaper shows up infront of her and says "I will grant your wish, but only on one condition, after two years your life will be taken away from you by means of drowning." The wi


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Did you hear the one about the gay Grim Reaper?

He had skeletons in his closet.

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Why does the Grim Reaper carry a Syth

Because his job is to cut lawns

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What did the Grim Reaper say to the pornstar?

"You've cum to die".

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A constipated man goes to the doctor

He is really hurting. The doctor examines him and says "I am giving you a prescription for suppositories. Take them twice a day. You should be fine."

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A week later the man returns to the doctor looking more grim than ever.

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"Doc," he says, "I still haven't gone!"

&


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A man loses a testicle

A man was in a non-fatal rough car accident. He was immediately transported into the ER, where he was told that one of his testicles has to be removed. The man was given no chance to reply, and immediately pumped up with the relevant dosage of anesthetics. He wakes up a few hours later, and after finding out about his grim situation, he begs the doctor to look up any options to add back a testicle


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In celebration of my cake day, here's the worst joke I've ever created.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes th


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If the Grim Reaper didn't know what died....

he would really hate middle aged dads during summer.

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The grim reaper approaches Paddy and says "I'm death"

Paddy says "I'll talk louder then"

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With a grim look on his face, my doctor told me I had onomatopoeia. Breaking in to a cold sweat, I gasped, Whats that?!



He whispered, “It’s exactly what it sounds like.”

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After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him at the restaurant so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had


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Why did the Grim Reaper have to wear a hearing aide?

Because he was death.

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Blind Date

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said: “I have some bad news. My grandfather


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One day the grim reaper came to a man and said "your time has come"

the man begged and plead so the grim reaper gave him another year to live.
after the year was over the reaper returned but the man was in an airplane. he once again said "your time has come". the man said "you cant take me now. what about all these innocent people. they dont deserve to die".
"are you kidding me?" said the reaper. "you know how dif


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I was told that my actions could have grim repercussions.

I though ' isn't that what Death sits on?'

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You CAN decorate your sofa with pictures of Death in a hooded cloak...

But there will be grim repercussions.

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In an alternate, dystopian timeline...

Fictional creatures ruled the entire Earth. Yetis inhabited the northernmost and southernmost regions of the planet, while Wookies made their homes in many forests.

But perhaps the most intriguing thing was their culture and systems. Mainly the fact that it was completely normal for a creature to have a human as either a pet or a slave, regardless of age and descent.

Un


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What happens if you try to sit on Death's couch?

There will be grim reaper cushions

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I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children

Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay.

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Today at my school, someone dressed up as the Reaper for Orange Ribbon week

He was looking pretty Grim

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The grim reaper attends a funeral early in the day...

as he gets there, he says, "Good mourning, everyone"

Ill see myself out..

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What killed the Imgur front page?

The Grim Reappost

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Where did the Grim Reaper find his missing keys?

On Death's drawer.

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What does the grim reaper and a pedophile have in common?

They both take people before their time.

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Who comes to visit before a sexual assault?

The Grim Raper....

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In celebration of my cake day, here's the worst joke I've ever created.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother tak


read more
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Three men are confronted by the grim reaper NSFW

The grim reaper says to the three men, "I will spare your lives if you can each collect 12 pieces of fruit for me." All three men go their separate ways, and a few minutes later guy 1 comes back with 12 oranges.


The grim reaper says "before I can spare your life, you must complete one final task: you must shove all 12 pieces of fruit into your ass without display


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Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop?

To get some soles!

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I came home to find the Grim Reaper waiting for me. I fought him off with a Hoover.

Talk about Dyson with death.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of Jger...

The Barkeeper is suprised:
"10 shots of Jägermeister? Whats the occasion?"
The man responds with a grim face:
"My first blowjob."
"But that


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I met the grim reaper today.

it was just a black guy making weird had motions and screaming im deaf, im deaf.

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