Grasshopper

Jokes

In honor of all the grasshoppers out there right now...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, hey, we have a drink named after you.
You do??? Why would you name a drink Clarence?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

The bartender looks up and says, 'Hey! You're a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you.'


The grasshopper says, 'Really? You have a drink named Kevin?'

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Barhopper

A Grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey, you know we have a drink named after you?"

Grasshopper responds "You have a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar..

..and takes a look at the menu. The bartender notices him and says, “Hey we’ve got a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper looks up, surprised, and says, “You’ve got a drink called Bernard?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Grasshopper walks into a bar

The bartender says, "Heyyy, we have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

The bartender says “you know we have a drink named after you.”

The grasshopper says “Really? In that case I’ll have a Steve.”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a crowded bar.

He sits down on a stool and orders a glass of beer. The bartender says, “That’s funny. I figured you’d order something different, especially since we’ve got a drink named after you.”

​

The grasshopper looks at the bartender baffled and says, “You’ve got a drink named Stan?”


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A GRASSHOPPER WALKS INTO A BAR.

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why couldn't the grasshopper get a tattoo?

He was way to jumpy

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Grasshopper walks into a bar...

He sits down and the bartender looks at him and says: “Hey! Ya know, we have a drink named after you?!” The Grasshopper says: “You have a drink named Larry?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I've been learning Chinese for a long time...

Since I was ni hou to a grasshopper

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Told my nephew the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant saved up for winter while the grasshopper didn't. I asked my nephew at the end of the story Me:What is the moral of the story?

Nephew: You should never live in a Fall's sense of security

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper, surprised and pleased, says, "Oh, really? Tom Collins?"

This is my favorite joke.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

The bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!”

The grasshopper can’t believe it. “You have a drink called Geoff?!?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar..

The bartender says, “One on the house, we’ve got a drink named after you!”

The grasshopper says, “You have a drink named Stanley?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A green grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a water.

The bartender is intrigued by his new customer and decides to spark conversation. He says "Did you know we serve a drink here that's named after you?"
The Green Grasshopper looks perplexed and says "You serve a drink called Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, "You have a drink named Jeff?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a grasshopper on adderall?

A focust

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says hey. We have a drink named after you!

The grasshopper says, “you have a drink called Murray?”

A kid told this joke at freshman orientation at Umass. I still laugh at it. And it’s not even that funny.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a stoner with one leg?

A grasshopper

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says Hey, we have a drink named after you

The grasshopper says “You have a drink named Steve?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar



A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'
The grasshopper looks at the bartender, with a look of extreme confusion on his face, and says, 'You have a drink called Steve?'


​

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender says hey, weve got a drink named after you.

And the grasshopper says “ what? ..Kevin?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have one scotch thanks.”
The bartender, amazed says to the grasshopper: “You know we have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper looks at the man confused.
“What, you have a drink named Kevin?”


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Grasshopper walks into a bar

Bartender can't believe his eyes, says, "holy shit we got a drink named after you!"

Grasshopper says, "what you got a drink named Kevin?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

And the bartender says, "You know, we have a drink named after you."

The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Fred?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says to him, "Hey, we have a drink named after you."

The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Murray?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Grasshopper Hops Into

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

One Saturday afternoon

One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper's house drinking beer.
They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.

The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was once told by a Japanese student that this is an old story. One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper's house drinking beer.

They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.

The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go."

The grasshopper said, "I don't mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we'll get spra


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

Bartender: Hey we have a beer here named after you!

Grasshopper: What? Kevin?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Grasshopper walks into a bar.

Bartender says, “hey, we have a drink named after you.”


Grasshopper says “You have a drink named Steve?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Grasshopper walks into a bar...

The Bartender looks down and says
"Hey, we have a drink named after you"
The Grasshopper says "You have a drink named Steve?!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper goes into a bar

Hops up onto the bar and says, “I’ll have a scotch and soda.”

Bartender says, “hey, you know we’ve got a drink named after you.”

Grasshopper says, “you’ve got a drink named Irving?”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

So the bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey! We have a drink named after you!"

And the grasshopper says "You have a drink named Steve?!"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper sits at the bar...

...and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man was talking to a grasshopper...

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Guy walk's into a bar

A guy walk's into a bar and asks the bartender what drink he recommends. The bartender tells him to try a grasshopper. The guy drinks a few of them, gets drunk, and instead of driving home decides to walk. Halfway home he see's a grasshopper and says to the grasshopper,"hey did you know there is a drink named after you?" The grasshopper replies,"I didn't know there wa


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

The bartender says to the grasshopper "You know, we have a drink named after you."

To which the grasshopper responds "You have a drink named Pete?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar.......

And the bar staff said to the grasshopper " theres a drink named after you "
The Grasshopper replied " theres a drink called bob?! "

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the vine lend the grasshopper a drill?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper hops into a bar

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "You’ve got a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Grasshopper hops into a bar...

He hops up to the bar. The bartender who is polishing a glass says, "Hey, We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper responses quizzically, "You have a drink named Kevin?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

And the bartender says "I have a shot named after you"
The grasshopper replies "you have a shot named Steve?!"

My bartender friend told me this, thought I should share

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A grasshopper walks into a bar

The bartender immediately says, "Hey! We got a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper looks at him quizzically and says, "You've got a drink named Leonard?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE