Gown

Jokes

When you want a picture taken with a celebrity at a concert or event

just make sure you shave your head and wear a hospital gown, works for me every time.

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A couple where lying in bed when the doorbell goes

The wife says I'll get that she gets up (naked of coarse that's the best way to sleep) puts on her dressing gown and goes to the answer the door. She opens the door to the neighbor Dave standing there staring at her. Without hesitation Dave says "I'll give you 300 dollars cash if you drop that dressing gown" the wife knowing that Dave would be good for it and wanting the e


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An entry level nurse walks into a patient's room...

She smiles at him, and says shes just there to give him a sponge bath.

Through his oxygen mask , he asks; "Are my testicles black?"
The nurse is taken aback, and explains again shes just there to bathe him.

He asks again, more firm, "nurse, are my testicles black?!"

"I dont know, sir."

"Will you check?&q


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My neighbour knocked on today so I opened the door in my dressing gown.

He looked me up and down and said “that’s a weird place to put a door”

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An Irish guy shows up to work one Monday with a black eye

\----before I proceed with the joke, I'm not gonna type out an Irish accent cause it'll suck if I try lol. So anyway----

​

His mate asks him what happened and the guys says, "It's like this - I went to church yesterday and we were all kneeling for prayer. There was a big fat woman in front of me and when we stood up, her dress was wedged


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As soon as they put me in that hospital gown...

I knew my end was in sight.

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After a quick change into my hospital gown, the prostate doctor told me to relax.

I said, "It's not easy to relax."

He said, "I understand."

"Right," I replied. "Can I have my hospital gown back then?"

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A Congressman is being given a tour of the new Hospital facility in his district.

The administrator takes him around the building and shows him the various wings and sections and explains what procedures and treatments are implemented in each area.

As they near the end of the tour, they come to a set of double doors at the end of a hallway.

"This last part is our sexual disorder wing," says the administrator. "There are some unusual th


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What do you call it when someones stressed out when wearing a gown?

Constantly under duress

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Little old lady



A little old lady was strutting up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say

"Supersex."

She walked right up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at

him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finall


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Trump snuffs it, and arrives at the Pearly Gates

they issue him with a Redirect Notice, and he is sent to the not-so-pearly ones.
The Devil looks at his clipboard irritably.
“Look, I’ve got a problem. You’re due here about now, but I’m full. I’ll have to ID one of the temporary inmates, whose sentence is just about up, and give them an early release to make room for you. Follow me.”
He l


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My next door neighbor knocked on my door at 2am

wearing nothing but a see through night-gown, asked to borrow a cup of sugar, winked, and tried to invite me over for coffee.

"Fuck off, Dave. I have to work in 6 hours." I said.

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What dress does a transvestite wear?

A ball gown

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Are my testicles black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.&qu


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A lady goes to a gynecologist for a routine exam

She gets into the gown and positions herself into the stirrups. When the doctor comes in, he tells her that the exam may be painful and asked if she would like to be numbed. Afraid of the pain, she replies, “please.” The doctor says “okay, this will just take a minute”. The doctor puts on his gloves, lifts up her gown, begins to put his head between her legs and goes &ldquo


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The end of school is pretty much the only time most guys will wear a gown and get on a stage.

Maybe we should call it "draguation".

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Are My Testicles Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.&


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Are My Testicles Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.&


read more
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Are My Testicles Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.&


read more
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Are My Testicles Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.&


read more
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Just got fired my first day working as a gynecologists assistant

I walked into a patients room who looked rather nervous.

“Hi, first time?”

“Yea I’m a little nervous. I’m curious, is it going to hurt?”

“No it’s just a standard check up”

“Well, can you do me a favor and numb me down there?”

“.... sure no problem”


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I used to deal LSD to children

But now, they're all gown up

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A man knocks on the door

Little Johnny opens it with a satin gown on a brandy in one hand and a cigar in the other.

The man asks “are your parents home?”

To which Johnny replies “does it fucking look like it?”

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Guy goes to the doctor complaining of having chronic bad breath.

The doctor walks in and asks what the man's symptoms are.

The man says, "Doc, I've had the worst bad breath for a few weeks. My wife won't have anything to do with me!"

Doc tells the man to open up and let him look in his mouth. The doc leans in and immediately recoils in disgust. "Ugh, yep. I see... Well, here's a gown; undress and put


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Not meant for shrimp lovers...(NSFW)

Little Johnny is staying at his grandmother’s house for the weekend with his parents. He walks into their room in the middle of the night and wakes his mother. His mother says “What is it Johnny?”. Little Johnny says “Grandma has a shrimpy”! His mother looks at him puzzled. “She has a WHAT?” Johnny says “A Shrimpy!” His mother has no idea what


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Was told to unfold my graduation gown to get rid of the square creases

replied that I'd rather graduate with more degrees.

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This guy is playing golf...

And on the 13th tee he slices one way out into a field of buttercups. After finding his ball, he addresses it, starts to take his back swing, and stops, looks around, and decides that this field of buttercups is so beautiful, he doesn't want to destroy its pristine beauty. So he decides to take a penalty stroke and move the ball to a more playable lie.

While taking his backstroke


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One day a man got a flat tire...

... right in front of an insane asylum. "Dagnabbit!" he cursed as he pulled a jack and a tire iron from his trunk. Just then he noticed a man in a white hospital gown staring at him from up on a hill behind the wrought iron bars.

The driver set about his task. He popped the hubcap off, loosened the lug nuts a bit, jacked the car up, then pulled the nuts off, putting each in


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A penis just like a baby

Man and a woman had been dating for about a year and their
relationship was taking a turn towards getting serious. Man proposed
and she accepted, however she told him that she wanted him to know
that her chest was just like a babys. He said that he loved her and
that her measurements didn't matter to him. He also told her that his
penis was also like a baby. She


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A young teenaged girl has her first trip to the gynecologist...

She gets taken to the examination room and the nurse tells her to strip down, put the gown on, sit in the chair and put her legs in the stirrups. The girl is a bit overwhelmed, but she complies.

A few minutes later, the doctor comes in, takes a quick glance at the girl's chart and then sits down on his stool, rolls up between the girl's legs, sticks his head under her gown a


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Are my testicles black? (Saw this on FB today)

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your


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Are my .....

A male patient is lying in bed at a hospital with an oxygen mask over his face and still heavily sedated from more than four hours of operation. A young female nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

Patient: “Nurse” (he feebly mumbles from behind the mask) “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed young nurse: “I don’t know, I’m


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20th Anniversary

A man wants to get his wife something special for their 20th anniversary, so he goes out and buys her a $200.00 transparent night gown. He then goes to wrap the gown up in a gift box while putting a handwritten letter on top of it.

That evening, after leaving the box in their room upstairs, the man sees his wife come home, and tells her that her present is in the room.

T


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