Fund

Jokes

Germany withholds $39m to the Rainforest Fund over concerns of deliberate deforestation

But like a lot of numbers out of Germany, those numbers are probably inflated, if not a complete hoax.

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Letter to the IRS

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Which mutual fund did the slut invest in?

Dodge & Cox Stock Fund

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What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?

Fund razor.

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An Investment Banker Was Getting Married.

During Wedding, The Wife Vomits.
Husband: "What Happened?"
Wife: "Capital Gains Arising Out Of Previous Investment."
Husband: "U cheated me.."
Wife: "U should know, mutual fund investments are subject to market risks!"

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What's the difference between a rafting guide and a mutual fund?

A mutual fund eventually matures and starts making money

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Why are hedge fund managers called that?

They hedge their bets on the stock market

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What did the US healthcare system say to the people?

Go Fund Me

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When you fund a terrorist group

To get rid of the terrorist group that you funded
To get rid of the terrorist group that you funded
To get rid of the terrorist group that you funded
To get rid of the terrorist group that you funded
To get rid of the terrorist group that you funded

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Its no wonder why Trump wanted the presidency so bad...

It’s his first job in awhile with a steady income, healthcare, and a guaranteed retirement fund.

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The cell phone manufacturer Motorola has developed a new phone and is going to donate all sales proceeds to help fund the rebuilding of Notre Dame.

They’re calling it the QuasiMotorola.

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Is being homeless a cult?

If so, they certainly don’t have enough money to fund it.

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If I had a nickel for every repost in this sub.....

I could fund all the "If I had a nickel..." ones.

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What do you call a mental person who needs money?

Fund-a-mental

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Where does the soup maker put his retirement fund?

In a Broth IRA!

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Johnny paid his way through college by waitering in a restaurant.

"What's the usual tip?" asked a customer.

"Well," said Johnny, "this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I'd be doing great."

"Is that so?" growled the customer. "In that case, here's twenty dollars."

"Thanks. I'll put it in my college fund,


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Trump should Crowd fund his wall!

Does Kickstarter accept Peso?

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What would you call it if the US federally legalized marijuana, and used the tax revenue to fund the border wall to Mexico?

Bi-partisanship at the highest level

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When I was kidnapped, my parents immediately sprung into action.

They spent my college fund on a luxury cruise.

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Arizona bill proposes charging porn consumers $20 to fund Trump's border wall. OC

In other words: If you cum, they will build it.

(Resubmitting due to rule violation the first time)

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Arizona bill proposes charging porn consumers $20 to fund Trump's border wall. OC

In other words: If you cum, they will build it.

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Justin Bieber has just agreed to do the new Chilis campaign.

He says he’s going to use the money to fund his dream of an eponymous seaside resort of luxury homes.

He wants those Bay Bieber cribs.

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Bill Gates has agreed to fund Trump's border wall...

On the one condition that they install Windows.

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I love helping people...

Last night, I started a GoFundMe campaign to fund my vacation.

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How many members of Congress does it take to change a lightbulb?

We'll form a committee to draft an appropriations bill to fund a study contracted out to a partisan think tank and get back to you on that after 4 years and $400,000,000.

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In order to resolve the government shutdown, Bill Gates has offered to fund President Trump's border wall

On the one condition that he can install windows

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Trump is truly a champion of human rights

...as opposed to those pesky human lefts who won't fund his wall

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How did the artist with the trust fund pay for all his supplies?

With the money he got from his dada.

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What do you call a landscaper's bank account?

A hedge fund

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What would you call the act of giving charity or help to a Mental Patient?

"Fund-a-Mental"

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I always thought it was weird that my parent's medicine cabinet was also where they stored the alcohol.

i fund out later that they were just trying to cure what ales me.

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Did you hear about the eccentric billionaire who went to a Seaside Campground and gave away $1,000,000 to every person in a tent and another 20 million to fund research into the dolphins that swim in the area?

It was for all in tents, and poirposes.

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When the sun sets every evening, Superman moves all his Bitcoin investments into a regular mutual fund.

He tries to protect himself from Crypto night.

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Local college starts fund for blind people

They never saw it coming

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MaWhat has the Maddie McCan fund and Maddie McCan got in common?

Gerry McCan has dipped his fingers in both

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Who wants to join the WWF with me?

The world wildlife fund

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"Oh shit, it broke!" "Don't worry, I've got a rainy day fund."

"I guess you could say I came prepared."

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Ill be hosting a fund raiser this Saturday for men who cant ejaculate during intercourse.

Let me know if you can’t come.

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The italian-american alternative to Kickstarter...

ey... Go fund yourself!

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Where can you fund the best view of California?

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?



Snowflakes.

Credit: my friend's 3-year-old made this up. I'll pass on any karma to his college fund.

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Job interview

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14


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Why Isn't Donald Trump Using The $80 Million He Raised For His Campaign Fund?

[deleted]

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A charity fund dedicated to research was created with the purpose of resurrecting Harambe... Guess how much it raised?

1 gorrilian

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Starting salary

Reaching the end of an extensive job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of college, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineering graduate said, "In the range of $100,000 - 125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14


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How will Trump fund the wall?

He'll get the money from *wall* street

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My trust fund matured before I did.

[deleted]

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With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

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How do you make a baby politician cry?

How do you make a baby politician cry.


Take away his slush-y fund.

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A friend of mine is having her breasts enlarged.

She’s paying for it with her endowment fund.

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