Function

Jokes

Picking up girls is like the Cotangent function.

I don't understand the cotangent function.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A mother was giving birth...

The moment a baby was born he said:
"Give me a computer, I gotta do some coding."

The doctors, amazed, wanted to do some experimenting. So they took out half of the baby's
brain.

The baby wakes up says: Give me a calculator, I have to solve some equations.

The doctors even more amazed that he can function like that with only half h


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the musician say to the other musician at the function.

Looking #

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Britain loves licenses so much...

That even their poets needed a poetic license to function well.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What function represents your past relationships?

f(ex)

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I don't really understand the function of a coin press...

But I guess it makes cents.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What math function represents your past relationships?

g(f(x))

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What math function represents you past relationships?

g(f(x))

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Peter's Math teacher asked him if why he didn't the Math Class

Peter replied"There was a function in my relation"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did y'all hear about the mathematician who couldn't function?

They took him out on the range and had a little one-to-one conversation, and when that didn't work, they had to give him an injection to set things straight.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I didnt know what to do, so I asked G-d for a trigonometric function

He gave me a sine

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three shapes are in a bar. The square says, "So then I said, It's all RIGHT!"

The triangle joins in and says, "Hah, what a weird tangent!"

The circle walks in and says, "Hey triangle, you are looking ACUTE!"

Triangle responds "Hi circle! Good to see you AROUND!"

They all share in laughter.

Circle asks "Is this why we have no friends?"

A function f(x) overheard their en


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you keep little cows quiet so their mummy can sleep in on Mothers Day?

Use the Mooote function on their horns

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A young billionaire once met Cardi B at an awards function

The meeting had such a good affect on him that the next day, he donated almost his entire wealth to fund research about AIDS and it's cures.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the difference between me and a sentence?

A sentence has a function colon

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?

E-Reptile Disc Function

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Who's the boss now?

After God created man, all parts of his body decided they'd need a boss to function efficiently. The brain stood up and claimed the title explaining its importance as an organ. The heart interfered and explained its own importance. The lungs, too, contested strongly in its own favor. It soon turned into a chaos. Meanwhile, the asshole, being tired of all the commotion, decided to stop its fun


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hey girl are you an exponential function?

Cause you’re making my numbers rise

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Where can you hide so no one can ever find you?

Reddit's search function

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

In Algreba, why is the vertical line test necessary?

You can't function without it

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I definitely smoke weed too much

but i function very highly on it...........

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The addition function on my calculator is broken.

I'm nonplussed.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There is a big function party

Everyone is there, x^2, sinx, cosx.
e^x is sitting in the corner crying. they ask "him why are you crying? Why don't you integrate yourself?"


e^x looks up and says, "It wont make a difference."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

At an awards function I asked a guest to give a shoutout to my magazine on its 10th anniversary.

He looked at the camera, shouted out my magazine's name really loudly & walked away.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I work with a Chinese guy called Kim and one time at a works function,

we were having a drink and I said to him

"Do you ever get fed up of us Westerners saying that all Chinese people look the same"?


He replied "Kim's at the bar getting drinks, I'm his wife"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Relationships are a lot like taking an inverse of a function.

Have you ever looked at your X and thought Y?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's a contract's favorite mathematical function?

Sin and Cos

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is a beavers favorite mathematical function?

No, not log, it’s a fucking beaver you dipshit. They don’t understand math

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mama

Is so fat that the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow, ddosing the whole bios.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Reddit search function

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Need good kid-friendly joke! G-rated Thanksgiving tradition

Gang-I need your help.

One of our family traditions is to tell a joke at the Thanksgiving table.

The judges ages range from 7 to 11. So the jokes have to be age-appropriate-G-rated.

Anything that includes a bodily function (esp. farts) usually gets high marks.

Need your best stuff!

Go!


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two Chemists Walk into a Bar

“I’ll have an H2O,” one scientist says.

"I’ll have an H2O, too,” the other says.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Holly moon

The Moon is much more important than the Sun because it appears at night when it is dark and brightens everything. Already the sun appears during the day when everything is clear, that is, it has no function!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a math-themed event organized by Casey Neistat?

A vlogarithmic function

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Here is my love story.

I am differentiation and she is an exponential function.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a mathematical function that drinks?

An alcoholic function

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What kind of music does an electron leaving a surface with a small work function listen to?

Lo-phi

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats blind mans favorite trigonometric function?

Secant

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Typical Apple

Next year Apple will remove the charging function, you will have to by a new iPhone once your battery dies.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Typical Apple

Next year Apple will remove the charging function, you will have to by a new iPhone once your battery dies.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I have a condition where my boner spontaneously shouts insults at people

I suffer from an Erectile Diss Function.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A guy walks into an IT place...

He asks the IT guy for help with his computer. "My browser is acting dumb. The fullscreen button in the menu is broken, so I can't fullscreen. Is there another way to do it?"

"Of course!" Says the IT guy."It's a simple matter of pressing the function key and F11." He presses the keys, but nothing happens.

"Oh, I don't use


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two scientists walk into a bar:

“I’ll have an H2O.”

“I’ll have an H2O, too.”

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two scientists walk into a bar.

Two scientists walk into a bar.
"I'll have H20," says the first.
"I'll have H20, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I have a Chinese friend named Cheng.

At an official function, we were having snacks.

I asked him, "Cheng, do you ever get fed up of people saying that all Chinese look the same?"

He replied, "Cheng has gone to the washroom. I am his wife!”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Mathematix

At a party, there is an e-function alone in the corner, drinking his beer alone, not participating in the social activities of the evening.
Seeing this the sin-function approaches him and asks it why it is not enjoying himself like the others do.
Looking at the floor, the e-function answers "I dont know, I just can't integrate properly".


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Wife terribly injured

The husband receives a call from the hospital telling him to come quickly.

When he arrives the doctor meets him at the doors and tells him "your wife was in a terrible accident. She's lost 80% of her brain function and she's paralyzed from the neck down. You'll have to retire from your job and take nursing classes to be able to take care of her."


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Girl are you a computer without a GPU?

Cause you cease to function when there’s anything on a screen

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Do you know why it is impossible to derive an Arts graduate?

They have no function!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE