Fore

Jokes

How many mass shootings does it take to get Donald Trump to interrupt his round of golf?

Fore!

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Buford was a tattoo artistpeircing specialist who had decided to visit his friend in Mexico and play golf with him.

One day after driving to the course and playing several holes Jose finally snapped and yelled "Stop yelling Quattro everytime you hit the ball, fore isn't even a number! Do you take everything that literally?" Buford glanced at Jose's friend who he had insisted on giving a free piercing earlier. Sooo what you're saying is I didn't literally have to get a hole in Jaun


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My fore chief walks in

He said "I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is 41 children have died today in a fire. The good news is it was an orphanage and I don't have any parents to notify."

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Johnny was playing fortnite with his Jewish friend...

Johnny asks his Jewish friend how many skins he has, his friend says 6!

Johnny says “not bad, I only have fore..”

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How many legs does a horse have?

All horses have two legs at the back. They also have fore legs at the front. That makes it a total of six legs. But six is an odd number of legs for a horse to have.

Reposted Without Any Remorse.

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The Faltering Actor


There was once an actor who did Shakespearean plays, but had aged and long past his peak! After many years, he finds himself in the Halifax Theater in Canada, where they are prepared to give him a chance.

The director says, “This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just the fo


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"Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?" long

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well, Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar a


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Did you know horses have six legs?

They have two legs at the back, and fore legs at the front

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Did you know horses have six legs?

They have two legs at the back, and also fore legs on the front

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While sitting on the deck of the course bar after a round of golf, Bill is hit in the head with an errant drive.

By the time the offending golfer finds him, Bill is already angry and holding an ice pack to his head.

“I’m so sorry!” the golfer says. “It just got away from me!”

“You’ll be more than sorry!” Bill yells. “I’m going to sue you for $5 million for your carelessness.”

“I yelled ‘fore,&


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A drunk German and Russian are walking around town with a sober Brit

After a few too many, the group decides to head home but the two drunks can't seem to walk in a straight line, bumping into everything in sight as the Brit keeps them from hurting themselves. Fed up with babysitting them, the Brit decides to have some fun.

The German and Russian first bump into a Brick Wall, the Brit whispers to them, "Watch where you're going gits 


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How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?

FORE!

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Why is a front flavouring different from a tender crack?

One is a *fore salt*, the other is a *sore fault*.

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One day, an excited young boy is visiting the docks when he meets an ACTUAL pirate!

This pirate is the real deal: parrot on the shoulder, peg leg, eyepatch, hook hand, sword on the hip. You could not imagine a more stereotypical looking pirate.

The boy runs up to him, squealing with delight. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! You’re a real pirate!”

“Aye, laddie,” the pirate says with a toothy grin.

“Wooow!


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What do you call a four-legged animal that's lost both of its hind legs?

A fore-legged animal.

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How many golfers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

FORE!

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Guy goes to see his doctor due to some mild discomfort down south.

Doctor asked What's your daily routine?
Well every morning the wife wakes me up with a blow job, I go down stairs for breakfast and the maid blows me in the pantry.
On the way to work I shag my chauffeur before she drops me at the office.
The secretary will meet me in the boardroom and screw my brains out before the first meeting.
The afternoon is usually a client givi


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I watched a really one-sided football match between a team of sportsmen and team of religious people.

Golfers: Fore! Catholics: Kneel

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I watched a football match between a bunch of sportsmen and religious people.

Golfers: Fore! Catholics: Kneel

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Golf

The sport where you shout fore, shoot five, and write three.

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Fore

A novice golfer was taking a lesson when he asked the Pro. Why do they call it golf? The Pro answered, well son the F word was already taken.

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A man asks his friend why his pig has a wooden leg

Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well, Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar a


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Whats an Australians definition of fore play?

Brace yourself Sheila

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How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?

FORE!

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Republicans hate a family with two dads....

Yet love a nation with fore fathers.

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I was watching Trump the other day with my dad.

He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Son, once in every generation a man comes to the fore who stands up for his fellow citizens against the foreign lunatics of this world. Get the gun, we're going to America."

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How many golfers does it take to break a light bulb?

A) Fore!

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Horses have an even number of legs.

Horses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in front they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, horses have an infinite number of legs.

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Why is Jason Derulo not allowed to play golf anymore?

Everything Is Fore

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Why is golf named "golf"?

Because all the other fore letter words were taken

(Thanks to /u/bonerfar... this now makes sense...)

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What did the uncircumcised man say during confession?

Forgive me father fore I have skinned

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I headed-butted a girl while we were making out.

She told me we should just skip the fore-head-play.

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You know people who call their penis wood?

Can they say they have a two-by-fore-skin?

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What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole?

Fore-play

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What do you call four bees??










....Be-fore

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On a scale of one to ten, guess how much I like golfing.

Fore!

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Apologies to any lawyers on Reddit

What do you call 100 dead lawyers on the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

What do you call three lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.

How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Depends on how thinly you slice them.

A man was out golfing one day. On the fifth hole he drove the ball toward the green. As he looke


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How many points do you get if you hit a golfer?

Fore.

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Taking his son golfing

Mr. Smith was a bad golfer, but God help him, he still loved to play the game. One weekend morning, his wife couldn't look after their son, so he agreed to bring him along, and have him act as his caddy.

When they got to the course, he pulled his son aside and handed him a scorecard.

"Here's the scorecard Timmy. I need to you write down the number I tell y


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How do you circumcise a whale?

Fore-skin divers!

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