Flop

Jokes

Why can Michael Beihn never wear shorts?

Because his big swinging dick would flop right out of them. God bless Michael Biehn.

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Why did the mango flop on the floor

Because he was depressed

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Jim and Steve are die-hard capitalists...

They go for a stroll together through a cow pasture, and Jim tells Steve that he will give him $20,000 to eat a pile of cow flop. Steve considers the suggestion, says what the heck, and eats a pile. Jim, laughing, gives him the money, and they continue on their merry way.

After a few minutes, Steve tells Jim that if he eats a pile of cow flop as well, he will give him $20,000. Jim con


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A gem I found posted at my local beer distributor:

A man came home from work and settled down in his favorite chair in front of the TV and said to his wife “quick bring me a beer before it starts!”
She looks a little puzzled but brought him a beer
When he finished it he said “Quick, bring me another beer it’s gonna start!”

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
Wh


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My roommate went to an ED support group

It was a flop and no one came

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When should you fold your nuts?

If the situation changes after the flop.

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What do you call a computer scientist with erectile dysfunction who's into BDSM?

A master-slave flip-flop

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I invented the sandal for one legged people.

It was a flop.

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Why did the vegan comedian flop on stage?

He never had a humerus bone.

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Started a club called Erectile Dysfunction.

It was a complete flop.

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Ace King for a friend

Is it a good hand for pre-flop raise?

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Why was the movie about fly fishing a box office flop?

Bad casting.

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A few years ago I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.

It was a flop.

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What came first, the Flip, or the Flop?

Probably the Flap.

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Why do men snore when they sleep on their backs?

Because their balls flop over their ass and they get vapor locked.

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Dealing with mens snoring

After the honeymoon the newlywed couple was visiting the brides mother. As conversations about marriage go the daughter starts discussing pet peeves and the daughter asks her mother why do men snore.

Without missing a beat the mother replies, when a man sleeps on his back, his balls flop over his ass and he gets vapor locked. That’s why I keep your fathers on the nightstand.


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What do you call a single sandal?

A flop

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My sandal invention for people with one leg

turned out to be a flop.

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I made a club about erectile dysfunction.

It was a flop, nobody came.

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I made a club about premature ejaculation

It was a flop. Nobody came.

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A man came home from work,

sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer


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Hey take a side or GITTING OUT!

Am I fat or am I anorexic? Take a side and once decided don't flip flop your stance on that issue.

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My sandal invention for people with one leg turn out to be...

a flop.

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Before it starts...

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.


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The Alzheimer's Convention Was A Flop

Everybody forgot to show up

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Did you hear they are making a new version of Slip n Slides for adults?

They're calling them Flop n Stops

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If Trump was a shoe, what type would he be?

A flip-flop with no soul.

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Whats the difference between The Oscars and The FIFA World Cup?

A flop doesn’t win an award at The Oscars.

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What kind of sandals does a person with 2 left feet wear?

Flop flops

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Trump's policies are like a frat boy walking by....

Flip flop flip flop flip flop...

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What do you get when you take hip hop off the streets?

Flip flop

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I thought my publication about fish living on land would be a big hit

Too bad it was just a flop

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What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?

Flop-Flops :)

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Why does Donald Trump flip-flop so much?

He ran out of Viagra.

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So, they opened a brothel in Soviet Russia

It was a massive flop. And they couldn't understand how it would have failed, as they hired only verified party members with at least 40 years of experience.

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I just heard Hillary Clinton got a shoe endorsement

It's from Flip Flop

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Hillary Clinton has become so famous that they started naming footwear after her

They call it the flip flop

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Yomama very fat...

Yomama so thick that it made his stomach flop, after two weeks, I found water on Mars.

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I started a club for guys with erectile dysfunction.

It was a total flop. Nobody came.

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So i started a club for guys with erectile dysfunction....

Was a total flop, nobody came.

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Have you guys seen the trailer for that new Moby Dick movie?

I think it looks like a huge flop.

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That new movie called Erectile dysfunction

What a flop.

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What's the difference between a soccer player and The Fantastic Four?

The soccer player's flop was better.

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Profound Irish man

The other night while walking to work I ran into this severely drunken Irish man. This man was full to the brim, there's no way he could have been any drunker! As we got closer to each other he slurred in a drunken Irish accent "scuse meh, av u the time?" I looked at him up and down and couldn't believe what I was seeing. I said "mate, look at the state of you! You've


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Did you hear about the erectile dysfunction support group meeting?

It was a total flop, nobody came.

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They have officially banned mini-skirts in San Francisco

Because every time someone bends over in one, their balls flop out

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I started an erectile dysfunction support group...

It was a total flop. Nobody came.

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Someone once tried making a club for people with erectile dysfunction,

But it was a total flop and nobody came.

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I started a club for guys with erectile dysfuntion

It was a total flop. Nobody came.

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What does Lebron use to high jump?

The Flosberry Flop.

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