Flap

Jokes

Why does seals have flat penises ?

Flap flap flap flap flap *Orgasms*

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There was a guy who had a wooden eye.

He was depressed because he couldn't find a woman that could get past the eye. One day he decides to go to the bar and after getting shot down a few times he walks over to the bar to get drunk.

While sitting at the bar he sees a lady who looks upset. She had been shot down by a few men because she had big floppy ears.

The man thinks to himself, "Ya know what, s


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I saw a dyslexic Yorkshire man the other day. He was wearing a cat flap.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call the act of a bird masturbating?

A flap fap.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did one vagina flap say to the other vagina flap?

We were so tight until something came between us.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Took my new (rather dim) girlfriend for some buffalo wings...

She asked me how such big creatures could fly with such small wings...
I told her they could flap them VERY fast.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What came first, the Flip, or the Flop?

Probably the Flap.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man and wife were fixing the cat flap and started arguing about whether they should switch to doggy style or cowgirl

It was a bone of contention.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When we got married I could pull her lips apart...

“Let ‘em go, they would slam shut.”

“17 years later I can hold ‘em shut, let ‘em go and they flap wide-open!”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do birds make awful parents?

They're always getting in a flap

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

FLAP JACKET

Q: Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform?
A: So the Marine have something to hold on to.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you make a cat flap?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Damn boy, are you Donald Trump?

Because you don't know when to shut up, you flap your lips a lot about chicks and everything you say is a joke.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the useless flap of skin above a vagina called?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call the useless flap of skin around the vagina? A woman.

'Nuff said.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

New Breast Enlargement Technique

(This joke needs bodily movements to get its full effect, so it won't be quite as funny just reading it. It needs to be done live & out loud, so steal at will!)


A woman goes into surgery for breast augmentation, as she had a very flat chest that she was self-conscious about. When she woke up from the surgery, she saw no difference at all! After recovering, she s


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Do you know the story of Flap Flap The Giraffe?

Flap Flap The Giraffe was walking around the savannah, when a helicopter came in to land.


The giraffe looked up, and then :::flap flap::: the giraffe!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do birds masturbate?

They flap.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the anxious gynaecologist?

...He got in a flap.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Sarah works at a nursing home

One day as she is making her rounds she hears crying coming from Mr. Wilson's room.
She looks into the room and sees Mr. Wilson crying on his bed.
"What is wrong Mr. Wilson?" Sarah asks.
Sobbing Mr. Wilson replied, "My penis died."
"I'm sorry" Sarah says at she pats Mr. Wilson on the back.
Realizing there is nothing el


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Towel Flapping Skills

Paddy and his wife have been married for 10 years, but in that time Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm. To fix this they go to a sex therapist, who suggests that his wife might be too hot and they should buy a fan. Paddy, being a bit cheap, doesn't buy a fan but gets his mate to stand in the corner to flap a towel instead. So Paddy and his wife go at it, Paddy's mate flapping the


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

John Torso

Now this is a bit of a long one, and should be told to be as funny throughout as when the catchphrase drops...

The hero of this story is John Torso. Now John Torso bears the name he bears because of, well, his appearance. You see, John Torso has no legs, and he doesn't have arms either. However, he is a cool dude.

One day, being the active dude that he is, John Torso


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the midget get when he ran under the strippers legs?

A flap in the face.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What happened to the dwarf who walked between a lady's legs?

He got a clit around the ear and a flap on the face.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call that worthless flap of skin around a vagina

a woman

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife asked me why I like to dress up as a Butterfly....

I told her I flap my wings because I hate people ...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE