Failing

Jokes

Why did the gay kids drop out of high school?

Failing Biology

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My muslim friend told me he had a blowjob yesterday, so I chided him for failing it so badly.

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Why is Jack Links marraige failing?

He keeps bringing up old beef.

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A group of doctors were getting frustrated while discussing their failing medical practice...

...they were unfortunately running out of patience.

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What is it called when you reposition your car after failing to park between the lines the first time?

Autocorrect

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I dropped out of pharmacology School

I kept failing drug tests

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A man has a failing liver...

and the doctor tells him he needs a transplant. Then man asks if it is necessary.

The doctor says its liver die.

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This is the first time writing a joke so yee

So a blind guy is going to a job interview and when he gets there he meets the receptionist, Mrs. Jane.
He goes in the in the interview room and he’s just failing every category
Interviewer: So you don’t seem to meet our requirements for this job
Blind man: oh yes I understand
Interviewer: Mrs. Jane, can you show him the door


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A boy was failing history class again

This was his third time retaking the class because he had failed it the past two years.

One day he asks his teacher "Why do we even need to take History?"

The teacher replies "We teach this class so history does not repeat itself"

The boy looks confused and says "Well the Warriors have won the Finals every year I've been in here


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How is a kid failing science and an antivax parent related?

One is just the evolution of the other.

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What's Jean Claude van Damme name after failing firefighter test?

Jean Claude Notre Dame

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A Russian Joke

One day in second grade class, Vovochka received another bad grade. He says to his teacher: "Marivanna, one day I will become a very big and very important person, and you will feel bad for failing me."

The teacher replies, "Putin, stop clowning around and sit down."

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What's the difference between an Art School Graduate and a loose anal sphincter?

One is a failing artist, the other is an ailing fartist.

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Im failing Marine Biology but I think I should still pass.

My grade is below C level.

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NSFW A factory supervisor called 3 workers into his office

Supervisor: Tim, as our only bench press operator, you've produced some good pots, you're giving us a great job!

Tim: Thank you sir.

Supervisor: John, as our only machinist, our pot's rims are failing quality tests, you're giving us a pretty bad job.

John: I'm sorry sir.

Supervisor: And Bob! As our only blowtorch operator


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Attention Nerds!

It would be so much easier if humans came with an error message just like computers do.
Imagine sitting in a restaurant and failing miserably at flirting with the waitress.
"Warning! Error establishing connection with the Server"

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Why do Incels play soccer?

Because they're pros at failing to score.

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Did you hear about the baker whose business was failing

He decided to baguette

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Why do LGBT students drop out of high school?

Failing basic biology.

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What did the librarian say to the kid with failing grades?

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What did the librarian say to the failing student?

...




Read more...

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What did the librarian say to the student with failing grades?








Read more....

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Kowalski, dialysis.

Kidneys are failing, sir.

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I was crying in the English class when my friend came over.

Him : What's wrong man?
Me : I'm so bad at grammar! I keep failing all my tests.
Him : Their, they're, there...

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Say what you want about the Titanic failing

To this day, the swimming pools are still full

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Only 3 days left...

Until the end of my semester and I’m failing 3 classes

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Gordon Ramsay went to a failing restaurant and ordered a glass of water...

"IT'S DRY!" he yelled and threw the water back at the lazy chef.

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What do you call an old dude failing at poker and Fortnite who fallen asleep?

A snoozer loser!

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Failing surgery on a grape would make it...

in a grape danger.

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My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing.

"Probably failing my driving test," I replied

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Two elderly women are talking about their failing love lives. "So how often are you getting it now, Doris?" asks Mabel. "Oh, I like it infrequently these days!" replies Doris.



Mabel asks, "Is that one word or two?"

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Doctor: I'm terribly sorry, but it seems your kidneys are failing.

Me: I can't believe this is happening.

Wife (sobbing): How will we tell our son?

Me: ... I'll tell him.

\[Later at home, sitting down with son\]

Me: Bad news kid, your knees are failing.

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Professor to student during biology exam.

Professor - look at this birds feet. Can you identify the bird?

Student - sorry I can't.

Professor - you can't even answer such a basic question. Get out!! And I am failing you.

* student starts to walk out *

Professor - wait, whats your name.

Student lifts his leg up and says - can you identify me by looking at my feet


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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months.

One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.


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What should you do when you try to upgrade to a custom rom and it keeps failing?

Pull yourself up by your boot loops.

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After 4 Years of Failing High School, Bobby Finally Got an A From His Teacher

its because he studied, you pervs

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Woman at DMV after already failing thrice

Officer: Mam, if on left you have your husband and on the right a child, what would you hit?

Why man: The husband.

Officer: mam, for the fourth time I am telling you, you hit the breaks.

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Playing a trump card no longer means a winning hand...

... Its now a small orange hand that's failing miserably.

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Playing a trump card no longer means a winning hand...

... Its now a small orange hand that's failing miserably.

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You were still by my side...

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.


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You were still by my side...

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.


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My yo-yo business is failing, and I dont know why!

People usually love a “no strings attached” policy!

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.

When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"


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Why does spongebob keep failing his drivers license?

Because his teacher is a woman.

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The meaning of life is the same for all living things, to have lots of sex to produce offspring.

I’m failing big time.

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What do Colin Kaepernick and Donald Trump have in common?

They both had failing careers before they decided to get into politics.

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My uncle decided to get involved in a sport as his health was failing.

But he took up bobsleigh and went downhill rapidly

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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day.

One day he told her, "You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?" "What is it, dear?" she asked. He responded, "I think you bring me bad luck."


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Trump said he would build a wall but he hasnt even picked up a brick yet.

He’s just another middle aged man failing at a DIY project.

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Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe

I've seen a couple of these already, but these are the top 10 funniest jokes from Edinburgh Fringe 2018:

"Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day." - Adam Rowe

"I had a job drilling holes for water - it was well boring" - Leo Kearse

"I took out a l


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