Extract

Jokes

How exactly do they make almond milk?

It's not like you can extract milk from tiny almond nipples.

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Idk about you guys but my parents never taught me about "the birds and the bees."

So when it came down to doing it, I had no idea how to extract honey from a beehive

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Apple just released a joke book, and here's is an extract...

*LICENCE NOT FOUND
*
*Please Pay $999 To View Joke

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"When I donate blood I do not need to extract it myself. A nurse does it for me."

"Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way!"

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The man shouted at the receptionist, "But when I donate blood, I do not extract it myself! A nurse does it for me!"



The receptionist shrugged, "Yes sir, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way."

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Cooking vegetarian food using compressed natural gas in your house is like using an extract of non vegetarian fuel to cook it.

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Me: "When I donate blood I do not extract it. A nurse does it for me. "

Receptionist: "Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way. "

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What do you get when you eat unsalted butter, all-purpose flour, baking powder, sugar, raw eggs, vanilla extract and whole milk?

A stomach cake!

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Scientists may have discovered a method to extract gold from human waste.

Im not sure myself, Ill have to see how this shit pans out.

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When I donate blood...

Donor: When I donate blood, I do not extract it myself, a nurse does it for me.

​

Nurse: Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way.

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Extract from a new book.......






We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.


We lay there, both nak


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The oranges industry is in trouble

We haven't been able to extract the problem yet, but there will be a press conference shortly

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I have the memory of a goldfish

And a Nobel prize for inventing the device that could extract it.

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A Jew and a Czech are walking in the forest when they see two bears...

A male bear and a female bear. One of the bears eats the Czech and the Jew calls the forest rangers.

They come and investigate the scene, tranquilizing the bears in the process. They ask the Jew which bear he thinks ate the Czech. He says he thinks the male bear ate the man so the rangers proceed to kill the bear to extract the remains of the man to be buried. Upon extraction they fi


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Would Mum and Dad like any of this delicious yeast extract?

Ma might.

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So Michigan is allowing Nestle to extract 200,000 gallons of water per day instead of giving it to who really needs it.

Mateusz Fijalkowski

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Me: When I donate blood I do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me.

Receptionist: “Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn’t work that way.”

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Me: When I donate blood I don't extract it myself. A nurse does it for me.

Receptionist: Yes but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way.

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How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards.

Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

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A man is stopped by a salesman

Salesman: "Hey you! You should try this wonderful male bovine feces extract! It can cure any ailment you have and flush all those nasty toxins out of your system!"



Man: "C'mon man, everyone knows that's bullshit"

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White kidney bean extract-The Doctors recommendations

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So this guy is really drunk

So I'm at this bar and the guy next to me is really drunk. The bartender has really had enough of him, so I say to the guy, "Come on, guy, let's go, I'll drive you home." He's pretty drunk and just nods and barks a little. So I pull him out of the booth and he can't even walk, I'm trying to guide him to the door, and he just keeps falling down. This happ


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The doctor's daiquiri

A tired young doctor got off a night shift at the hospital and stopped into a bar called "Dick's" across the street for a drink.

"Hey what can I get you?" asked Dick.

"How about a daiquiri?"

The bartender makes a drink and slides it down the bar.

He takes a sip and loves it. "Whoa that's great. What�


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(Like New) Medical Hardware - must extract

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WORK!!

Medical alert about a highly dangerous virus called "Weekly Overload Recreational Killer" (WORK).

If you come in contact with this WORK VIRUS, you should immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) centre to take antidotes known as

"Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" (WINE),
"Radioactive UnWORK Medicine"


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A monkey ate a mango whole. The pit of the mango tore his butthole on the way out.

From then on, before eating a fruit, the monkey would extract the pit and insert it in his butthole to check whether it fit and was edible.

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An hot chick goes to the shop.

"Hey sugar," she says to the shop owner.

"I am in a bit of a rush to get everything on the grocery list, before I need to be at to my friends party. Can you pick it all out for me?"

The owner looks at the list:
2 dozen eggs, 1 loaf of bread, 1 block colby jack cheese, 2 lbs hard salami, 8 oz each of parsley, thyme, wheat extract, cinnamon and sal


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