Expedition

Jokes

A grandfather tells two good and one bad stories

Back in my time, my neighbor's wife was lost. So we went into the woods to find her. We found her and the whole expedition f*cked her for the trouble.

Back in my time, my neighbor's cow was lost. So we went into the woods to find her. We found her and the whole expedition f*cked her for the trouble.

Back in my time, I got lost...


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Take most Ford and most Dodge models...now put the word Anal in front of the model name

Anal charger, Anal challenger, Anal expedition, Anal Fiesta...

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McDoogle walks into a bar.

He starts ordering several shots to drwlowb his sorrows. He says to the bar keep you know when someone builds houses does anyone say there goes McDoogle the house builder? No they don’t. McDoogle downs another shot and orders another. He takes the glass in his hand and says when someone rescues children from a burning building do they say there goes McDoogle the rescuer? No! They don’t


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A platoon sets up their new HQ in a small village...

The war is going well and the entire platoon can eat whatever they please since they have access to farms, meat houses and bakeries.

One day the entire platoon sets out on an expedition to the next city to intercept an enemy convoy, but one soldier is at the bakery and decides to have a snack before leaving. He begins eating bread at first, then cakes, and pies. But since he hadn&rsqu


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Expedition to the land of the warm mountain mists.

In 2016 I led an expedition to the land of the warm mountain mists.

I was accompanied by my colleague Julia and her husband Richard. We met with the local Bey in front of his palace and haram.

At a gesture, he ordered us captured and Julia was killed during the struggle.

Enraged, Richard fought his way free and escaped from our new master into the jungle an


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I was on an expedition through the amazon forest when I met a bunch native foragers...

I tried offering one of them a ham sandwich from my pack but they cussed me out and told me to kill myself for not knowing they were all vegan...

I never would have imagined I would be met with a diet tribe.

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We're the Fokawee

When the Americas were still being explored, there was incentive to learn what the indigenous people called themselves. To do this, the Queen of England commissioned an expedition to travel across North American and chart what tribes were where.

The expedition started on the northeastern cost. Venturing inland, they encountered the Iroquois; they met with the chief and learned that th


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We're the Fokawee

When the Americas were still being explored, there was incentive to learn what the indigenous people called themselves. To do this, the Queen of England commissioned an expedition to travel across North American and chart what tribes were where.

The expedition started on the northeastern cost. Venturing inland, they encountered the Iroquois; they met with the chief and learned that th


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Nautilus

Two succesful marine biologists come back from their recent expedition, near the seas of Indonesia.

Biologist 1: You won't believe our results. We documented so many different types of fish, including a lot of nautiluses.

Biologist 2: It's not a lie.

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I was on a jungle expedition in Bangladesh with some colleauges of mine, when we all came across a tiger...

It was really messy, so out of courtesy we tried wiping it off while profusely apologising.

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Men being Men

Once a group of men decided to take an expedition to the holy land.

Their guide explained to them that on the way they might see some women bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all.

When they see anything like that, they should just say “Praise the lord” and move on.

Next day they started the expedition and one of the men in the


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"Did you see a man eating tiger?", I asked a renowned hunter who had just returned from an African expedition.

"No", he told me. "But at the KFC down in Nairobi's business district, I did see a man eating chicken."

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Three men are on an expedition to the Amazons

They get captured by local savages, tied and brought to the head of the tribe.
'White men are destroying our land' he says, showing a pile of garbage, with electronics, pots, forks, newspapers.
'You're gonna swallow your trash, and then i'm gonna let you leave, but if you fail, we'll skin you alive and make canoes out of your skin'

The fi


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An ornithologist was on an expedition

A ornithologist was on an expedition one day and discovered a new species of bird, excited but quite tired he calls decides to name the new species "DumbDumbs". As his expedition was ending he was tragically killed by a bear. He is immediately sent to hell, and in hell he asks God "Why, Why am I here? I was a good man". God responds "Because you gave doves a bad name."


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TIL the first commodity traded across the USA was jaweia.

Lewis and Clark brought a sack of it with them on their expedition to the Pacific coast.

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What did the Mars Exploration expedition leader say when his team found a gigantic Chicken Egg on the surface?

[deleted]

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What did Lewis and Clark only have one sack of on their expedition?

Jawea

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What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

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Husband returns form an expedition

Husband returns form an expedition to the jungle of Rwanda. After a while his wife notices he is not what he used to be. He is more quiet and rather distant so she asks him what's wrong. Husband, now sobbing, says he has to tell her what happened in the jungle. One night his tent was spotted by a dominant silverback gorilla and the silverback ended up raping him. Wife tries to comfort him say


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In the months leading up to the expedition of Apollo 11...

In the months leading up to the expedition of Apollo 11, the astronauts trained in a remote moon-like desert in the western United States. The area is home to several Native American communities. One days, as they were training, the astronauts came across an old Native American. The man asked them what they were doing there. They replied that they were part of a research expedition that would shor


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Expeditions to Mars

Russian expedition: "Well, there is Mars."

American expedition: "Well, there are the life forms. Disgusting"

Chinese expedition: "Not if you know how to cook them properly"

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Ethnographic expedition lost in the Sub-Saharan Africa

An Ethnographic expedition lost in the Sub-Saharan Africa. The head of expedition, a prominent Russian scientist, Artem Pizdobolov, have bad news and good news to tell his comrades. First the bad news, he said. We run out of food and water. There left only camel's dung. Tell us a good news fellow travelers asked in desperation. The good new is that we have that camel dung in abundance.


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