Exciting

Jokes

Why do men like to see lesbians kiss?

Men are visual creatures. Two women making out is a visual stimulus that is very exciting to see. It's $exy, seductive and a fantasy. Plus, as a guy, you aren't seeing some other guy in the picture.

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@JustCallMeMike_: Make allergy season more exciting by snorting confetti so that every time you sneeze...

it's like a little party on your face.

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Nintendo is starting a new Mario brothers game about the exciting life of washing cars. Titled....

"Mario and Lu-squeegee"

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A polar bear walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer

The barman says $18 please.

The polar bear pays and takes a seat.

Bemused, the barman approaches and says "this is exciting - we don't get many polar bears in here!", to which the polar bear replies: "I'm not surprised with beer at $18 a pint."

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Son: "what's love juice Daddy?

Me: it's what two people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway, what are you watching?

Son: "Wimbledon"

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I have an exciting announcement to make: I just found out that my sister is pregnant!

I'm going to be a dad! :D

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Today is going to be an exciting day for me, we are going to find the time capsule i buried when I was a kid

I Can't wait to see how big my puppy has got

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Computers are like dogs

They're exciting and fast when they're young, but soon they get old slow and you beat them because they don't work like they're supposed to anymore.

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Having sex while camping isn't just exciting...

It's fucking in tents!

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What was the most exciting class at college campuses last year?

English Lit

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What is more exciting than Christmas Eve?

Mueller Eve

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Wanna have an exciting night ?

A girl brings a guy home from the club.
Before they enter the house she mentions

Hope it's ok that I live at home with the family...

Yeah it's fine says the guy

They start to kiss and as thing start to heat up the girl says :

Oh BTW did I mention that my father is in the Counter Terrorist Corps ? My Mom is in the Homicide Corps


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Little Johnny's First Grade teacher asks her class to present something exciting that happened over the summer

and of course, there's the usual stories of going to the beach, taking a trip to the amusement park, etc. Finally, little Johnny's turn comes up, and he walks to the front of the class and draws a single dot on the board. The teacher, confused, asks little Johnny what he's presenting. "It's a period." Johnny says. "Yes, I can see that... but... what's so exc


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They said that the Super Bowl was going to be exciting.

But that was a LIII.

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Job offered: joined the exciting field of TSA

Title: TSA inspections officer

Location: Florida

Starting date: Immediately

Pay: Eventually

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Do you know the story of the dwarf woman who has 47 children ?

Very short but exciting.

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What's the common point between having a girlfriend and a video game ?

First it's exciting, then annoying.

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There's three kinds of sex in a relationship.

There was exciting sex, necessary sex, and hallway sex.

Exciting sex is when you're first married and you can't wait to get at each other.

Necessary sex is after you've been married for seven or eight years and it's more of a chore than anything else.

Hallway sex is after you've been married for thirty or more years and you pass each


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Would you help him

Let's say you live in the country and you know this guy jack. He has never been on a horse, but he thinks riding one would be so exciting. You invite him over to ride, and teach him how to mount it. After a few minutes Jack has had his fun and wants down. He can't do it by himselfthough. He is scared he will get kicked. Would you help jack off the horse?


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Today is an exciting day. For the first time in my life, a girl winked at me.

She must have been extra interested. She used both her eyes.

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Statistically, I have sex 86 times per year.

This is going to be an exciting week.

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Freeway on ramps and off ramps would be way more exciting if you actually ramped.

Freeway on ramps and off ramps would be way more exciting if you actually ramped.

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Why is it more fun to fly passenger airplanes than cargo airplanes?

Cargo airplanes never get hijacked, which makes flying passenger airliners WAY more exciting.

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My girlfriend wanted to have sex somewhere exciting

My girlfriend wanted to have sex somewhere exciting.

So I waited until night and told her to get in the car with me and cover her eyes.

I drove for a while and parked then we got in the back seat and starting having sex.

She said "Ooh, this IS exciting! Doing it in the backseat of a car, with the risk of getting caught!".

Right


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Shower sex is like Christian rock

It sounds exciting at first but then it's just awkward and disappointing

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I'm not sure why gentrification has such a negative connotation but being a pioneer sounds exciting and adventurous

It's still the same old story of a white guy moving somewhere other people already live to claim it as his own.

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How do you keep a stupid person in suspense

I don’t know but I’ll find out tomorrow. This is so exciting.

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I saw Channing Tatum the other day while I was cooking mushrooms....

How I cooked them isn't that exciting because I sautéed'em.

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My wife's been telling me lately about how sex is so much more exciting on holiday

It's driving me nuts, she keeps sending me postcards

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Apple just released the new iPhone XS

This new version has a lot of exciting new technologies, but it is also a lot more expensive. Experts are predicting that by the time they get to the iPhone 14, it will not only be grossly overpriced, but it will also have a lot of unnecessary features. They say it will be the iPhone XS IV.

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I'm not racist, but i'll say that some races really are better than other

For example, auto racing is way more exciting than a 100m dash

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What kind of person thinks the most exciting thing to do is sit in a cold bathtub while popping fart bubbles with a spoon?

A trump supporter.

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Where is the most exciting or craziest place you had seX?

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It's been an exciting month

My girlfriend just graduated and I'm so proud of, moving on to bigger and better things... Like middle school, and puberty.

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Tonight's firework show reminds me of my dad

Really exciting for 30 minutes, then completely gone for a year

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A Toad Story

I've seen the same toad at the same time, at the same place for three days in a row. Either it's just a coincidence, or me and this toad are keeping the same schedule.

Super exciting story, you could even say it's... ribbiting.

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More exciting, all in a long time

"Boss!"
I looked up and was an enchanting woman. The perfume immediately filled the shop.
"Thirty boxes of ordinary sets." She chewed gum and threw a few notes on the counter.
I looked at her, "to 300, you only two hundred."
She is very disdain: "**, less to come with me this set, I'm wholesale, all this price know? You earn a few


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What's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease?

Answers:
- You can hide your own Easter eggs
- Everything
- To get to the other side
- You meet new people everyday
- what's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease

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Something exciting

The third-grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.

Little Johnny walked up to the fron


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I like to read dictionaries

They're not very exciting but they explain every word as you go along

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Having sex outside is very exciting...

In fact, it's fucking in tents.

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Just won the most exciting rock papers scissors match I've ever had

The cop said "Papers" I said "scissors" and inmeditaly after that I drove the f#@€ away.
He must have been crazy for a Rematch because he chase me for 10 min!

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Have you heard the exciting news about corduroy pillowcases?

They’re making headlines all around the country

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A woman is flying on a jumbo-jet.

After they get up in the air the loudspeaker comes on: This is your Captain Ramaa Kirti. We are cruising at 35,000 feet etc etc...
When the announcement is finished the woman passenger beckons to a stewardess and asks: Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?

Stewardess: Yes, Captain Kathi Durst is a woman.

Woman: How wonderful I


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Vegan murdered by having meat stuffed in their mouth

> and they say that vegans don't have an exciting sex life

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Justin Bieber is like winter.

Kind of cute and exciting in the beginning, but after its all said and done you wish he would have stayed in Canada.

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Why are Bedouins the most exciting nomads?

Because they are in tents.

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I went to buy a fresh loaf of bread (How very, very exciting)

The baker said the bread was still in the oven. I said "That's alright. I'll just wait over here and you can give me a challah when it's done."

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Why are circus animals so much more exciting than zoo animals?

Becuase they are in tents.

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Why are flea markets the most exciting shopping experience?

Because they are in tents.

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