What did the suicidal depressive say to the arsonist?
Go on then, enlighten me.
Im bored, enlighten me folks
Ok, so was on the phone to a BT advisor and she and i were getting on well talking about how we don't get football/rugby but have families or partners that do...we were sorta giggling and laughing.
Anyway she said "I'm just gunna send ya a text now with a verification number, don't worry it's not like my mobile number or something haha" I thought I got the joke
In a bar in Berlin, before the war broke out, there sat Adolph Hitler at a table arguing with Rudolph Hess.
Goebbels was at another table with Bormann. Hermann Goering was up at the bar shooting shots of schnaps.
In walks an American reporter, recognizes Goering at the bar and strolls on up to him and introduces himself. He explains that he’s doing an article on the Nazi plans and goals for Germany and asks Goering if he could maybe enlighten him.
Goering, half drunk, say
I turned my lamp on...
My girlfriend is jealous...
My friend told me i should enlighten her, so the truth lights up for her.
My lamp just told me i should leave her in the dark...
Work or Play?
Guarantee this is a repost because it still makes me laugh to this day.
A general, major, and lieutenant were arguing in the command tent while having drinks about whether sex was work or play.
General: "25% play, 75% work"
Lietenant: "75% play, 25% work"
They go on like this for some time while consuming more
I anonymously send my friends quotes from Voltaire, Kant and Rousseau...
... someday I'll Enlighten them
What do you call a wise plant?
Rjokes, please enlighten me. What are some of the most downright offensive White People jokes you know.