Encouraging

Jokes

I went to a cannibal's house for dinner. His manners were like nobody else's.

He was *encouraging* me to put my feet up on the table.

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My wife always takes all my covers.

It's tiring, so I'm encouraging her to write her own songs for once.

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Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying

She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, "Nobody loves me...the whole world hates me!"
Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word... "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you and can’t yet.”


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My friends keep encouraging me to give alcohol to my dog

Figured I'd give it a shot

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My boss held a meeting a few weeks ago encouraging everyone to start dominating the workplace.

I guess I misunderstood because nobody seemed impressed when I arrived at work in my gimp suit the next day.

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I'm dating a really nice girl from New York...

...and she's encouraging me to audition for the Blue Ball Group.

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A rabbit is talking to a groundhog...

... distraught, the rabbit says, "Damn I have a tough life. These wolves keep coming around and messing with me. All damn day, these wolves chomp at me and chase me back to my hole. It's made me really depressed."

The groundhog, trying to be encouraging, says, "hey man it's not all that bad. You just gotta get back on your horse."

"Tha


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My therapist has been encouraging me to be more optimistic

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Lots of people in the gym were looking at me and it was really encouraging.

I think they were impressed by my clapping and spinning star jumps.

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"Mister Late"

A fantastic new series of billboard ads are now displaying along several highways, encouraging drivers to slow down. The billboards read:

Being "Mister Late" is always better than being the "Late Mister".

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Why is the government encouraging more American made vibrators?

They want to increase their gross domestic products.

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2 men are selling religious figurines in front of a catholic church

one man is selling statues of jesus, and another is selling statues of abraham. the priest notices the men as he is saying goodbye to his parish. he walks over to the men and sees that one of the men is making good money, while the other is not. he turns to the man with the abraham figurines and says: "sir, you have no business selling these figurines in front of a catholic church, in fact, y


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How would you boost your country's exponentially??

By encouraging your citizens to start smoking

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FEEL BETTER NOW

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's n


read more
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