Eliminate

Jokes

First date

Girl: "So, what do you do in life?"

Guy: "Well, I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers!"

Girl: "Oh my god, that's amazing!"

Guy: "Thanks! So, what's your sign?"

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Why can't you eliminate Satan from Linux?

Because 666 isn't executable.

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I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them.

They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.

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Date: So what do you do?

Me: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers

Date: Wow, impressive

Me: Then I'll move on to Virgos

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We weren't allowed gum in school, our teacher was a bit of a gum nazi

She wanted to eliminate all the chews

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What's the easiest way to eliminate a large portion of your competition?

I just lost the game.

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What's the easiest way to eliminate a large portion of your competition?

I just lost the game.

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First date Her: So, what do you do? ... Him: Im working to eliminate all cancers.

Her: Wow! That’s impressive!

Him: Thanks. Next up, Capricorns.

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As a proud American, who lives in Houston Texas and loves baseball and beer, I believe Columbus was an ass hole and this is a bullshit holiday

Now that I've said my piece, time for me to root for the Astros to eliminate the Indians

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First Date...

Her: So what do you do?

Me: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers

Her: Wow, impressive

Me: Then I'll move on to Virgos

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A man at a gay bar spills wine on his shirt and asks around for help.

One kind patron drinking to his right tells him, "According to some independent research I've been conducting, this bottle of experimental green liquid should eliminate the stain."


The man replies, "Thanks for the homogeneous solution."

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What is the most Shakespearean way to eliminate bird flu?

Murder most fowl.

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Should we eliminate psychopaths from the gene pool?

On face value it might seem like a splendid idea, but as much suffering and pain these individuals put the rest of us through... We still need women for survival of the species.

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The storyline for purge day

Donald trump becomes president and he attempts to eliminate all Muslims with purge day

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Why is solving equations like the 74th Hunger Games

Because you eliminate everything until you have two left, a variable and a number.

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The fastest way to eliminate all Muslim Jihadis ...

[deleted]

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If you want to eliminate the drug problem legalize the drugs....

....let Comcast Customer Service be responsible for selling them.

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There's an anal cream that will eliminate the odor of flatulence.

It's called tootpaste.

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Funny Lance Armstrong Joke (2)

(#1)I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.

(#2) I just heard that the Tour De France is trying to eliminate Performance Enhancing Drugs.. Yet, they're sponsored by... Viagra


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Regular Consumption of Guinness

Well now, you see it's like this....

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the rear that are killed. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because only the fittest survive thus improving the general health and speed of the entire herd.

In much the same way


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If you could eliminate one entire race off of the face of the planet, which would you choose?

the 5k fun run, or the 100 meter dash?

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