Easily

Jokes

What do bananas have in common with old people?

They both bruise easily. And when you peel the skin, you realize sometimes the bruising goes beyond the surface.

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What do you call a serial killing cannibal who catches on fire easily?

Flammable Lector.

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What do you call a guy who forgets things easily?

Oh fuck... how does the rest of this joke go?

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How did Jesus survive in the desert for that long?

Easily, Back then there was no global warming.

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News: the creators of reddit are creating a dating app targeted to people who give up easily

It's called "fuckit"

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I don't like cocaine.

It blows away too easily.

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I dont know why gay guys are so easily offended

If you can take a dick you should be able to take a joke.

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Cancer is like being a millionaire.

Once you have the first, you easily get two more.

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A canadian goes to bearhunting...

He asks his son to bring the rifle and the specially trained dog. As the boy never hunted bear he explains the process while they are on the way.

"When we see the bear I will shout "run if you want to live" you run away but hide in a nearby bush with the rifle. Meanwhile I climb a tree and the bear will follow me. When we are both on the top of the tree, I shake it, the


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Julie Andrews has officially stated

That she will no longer endorse cheap lipstick, due to it crumbling easily and making her breath smell. She explained,

“ The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.”

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Why did the pediatrician get mad so easily when she got home?

She'd had little patients all day

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What does woman and nail polish have in common?

They both go down easily with alcohol.

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THIS IS NOT A JOKE GUYS! REMEMBER TO ALWAYS PRACTISE SAFE SEX!!!!

You can easily do so by tying your partner to the bed so he/she won’t fall off.

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What can easily penetrate armor?

An armadildo

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Burning Wisdom

There's nothing I've learned from having been a husband that I couldn't just as easily figured out from setting all my money on fire.

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This bully at my school claims he had sex with my mother, and can beat me easily in a fight.

I hate Parent-Teacher Day.

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I am offended

By how easily people get offended these days

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The Nintendo Switch is easily portable! But I wish that the Wii had been...

Because then you could take a Wii anywhere!

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People always say that you cant tell if a man is gay just by the way he acts

but, me personally, I've always been able to peg em' pretty easily

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People tell me I lose my patients too easily.

Guess I'm not a very good doctor.

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I saw a really big seagull today

It was easily big enough to be a D gull, but not quite big enough to be an eagle.

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Why couldn't the millennial

gun hold a normal conversation?

Because it was easily triggered

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What do missionaries call heretics easily swayed with lavish sports cars?

Convertibles

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How can photons bend so easily?

They practice light yoga

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I would have easily bench pressed 100kgs

I was just unable to pick up the 25kgs to put it on the bar.

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Having both a shower and toilet is a waste

Why have both when I can easily drink from the toilet?

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An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area.

Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull." Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Jennie, pull." Nothing.

Then the farmer


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Someone threw a beer at Trump during the Indianapolis NRA convention.

He’s fine. It was a draft so he easily dodged it.

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My girlfriend is a lot like my computer

easily hacked and full on viruses :-(

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Someone threw a beer at Trump during the Indianapolis NRA convention

Hes fine. It was a draft so he easily dodged it

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Someone threw a beer at Trump during the Indianapolis NRA convention.

He’s fine. It was a draft so he easily dodged it.

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Did you hear about the kite that went up into the air really easily?

He said it was a breeze.

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You have to be careful what you post on Twitter.

Posting something like "You lot will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes!" can easily be taken the wrong way.
They *could* think I mean figuratively.

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Few jokes

sharing few one liners from a great satire writer **Mikhail Zhvanetsky**.



Guys, if we are going through the shit storm, we might as well hold hands!

Have a conscious and do whatever.

Never overestimate stupidity of your enemies and loyalty of your friends.

Thinking is so demanding that most people choose to judge.

N


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Why do blind people get sick very easily?

They don't get enough vitamin C

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I was reading through my dryer manual and it turns out that thing can explode rather easily.

Guess I really gotta wash what I put in there, huh?

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Why Shaq could easily get a job at Game of Thrones?

Because the show needs a new giant.

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What's the difference between Rome and ROM?

You can easily build the latter in a day.

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You can easily tell an ants gender

if it sinks, it’s a girl

if it floats, it’s buoyant

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My doctor told me my STD can even affect my iQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of shit. That stupid idiot does not know I drive a Civic and I don’t have that crappy Apple product anyways.

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Children are so easily spooked

Even if it is the head of their parents dangling in their face.

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I burn really easily in the sun.

*on

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Last week a hypnotist convinced me I am a light malleable metal with an atomic number of 82

I'm easily lead.

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Why is the area between her ribs and her hips called her waist?

You could easily fit another pair of tits there.

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An autistic person can easily become a painter or a pirate.

With just a little arrr.

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Did you hear about the cow that went to the tannery just because the other cows told him to?

At least he looked good; he was easily suede.

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Things need to know about me

A. Bad at grammar
B. Bad at titles
C. Grammar
D. Repetitive
H. Don't know the alphabet
5. Inconsistent
7. Don't know number line
12. Repetitive
237. Too ambitious
(239) Inconsistent
(6) Childish
(7) Easily distracted
(8-()) Homer Simpson

O000o
( /
) /
(___/

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If you get offended easily don't read this

What's black, white, and red all over?

The civil war.

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Why are octopi easily duped when it comes to eating seafood?

They’re suckers for sushi

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They say that using penis enlargement pills can affect my IQ and make me easily irritated.

What a load of bullshit, and I don’t even have that fucking stupid Apple product.

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