Drill

Jokes

WTF did I just read (saw this on a post)

I've been very depressed for a while and just moved back to my third world home country 2 days ago. All my past friends are gone and looking at the playground I once used to play in with all my friends now dark and deserted made me cry. My parents are completely oblivious to this. Yesterday I don't know what happened to me but I decided to kill myself. My parents were not home and I took


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A drill sergeant asks a private what his name is

The private responds “I.P. Rainwater sir.” The drill sergeant replies, “I don’t care if you shit snowballs, what’s your name private!”

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Here is a couple of dental jokes.

Which teeth are responsible for 50% of mouth infections? The black ones.

I decided to drill holes in my teeth. 40% of them fell off on their own after that.

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I decided to drill holes in my teeth.

But 40% of them fell off on their own.

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I decided to drill holes in my teeth

Almost half of them fell off.

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I decided to drill holes in my teeth.

40% of them fell off.

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A guy walks into a bar holding a screwdriver over his head

. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he yells. "This is not a drill!"

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What's the difference between between a dentist's drill and a feminist?

One causes a lot of pain while making a high pitched whine and the other is a piece of medical equipment.

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My Drill Sergeant said, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning

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Link accepts a sidequest

Princess Zelda has tasked Link with finding precious ores and jewels from all over the kingdom. To do this, she hands him and enchanted drill. Link carries the drill on his back and heads off.

20 minutes later, Zelda hears a loud grinding noise outside the dining hall. She looks out the window to see Link digging for the ores and jewels just outside on the castle grounds. She shouts a


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You know the drill

But do you know the screwdriver.
Hehe I nailed that joke.

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A drill sergeant is talking to his new recruits standing in a line.

Drill sergeant : “SMITH”
Smith: “Yes Sir”

Drill sergeant : “I did not see you at the camouflage practice today”
Smith: “Thank you, sir !”

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A drill sergeant ran his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on.

As they stood there, exhausted, he put his face up to one of the recruit's face and said, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and urinate on my grave, aren't you?"

And the recruit says, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again!"


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"Private! I didn't see you at camouflage practice today, where the hell were you?" The drill sergeant said.

The private only replied, "Thank you sir."

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Two drill bits meet on the street

- how is going? you look a little dull
- yeah I'm going trough a lot of stuff

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My dentist has a TV on the ceiling so the patient can watch shows while he works

Netflix and Drill

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Genie: Ok so you know the drill

there are three rules:
I cannot make someone fall in love of you.
I cannot bring someone back from the dead.
I cannot kill someone.
- I want to look good in my ID card picture.
- OK, there are FOUR rules...

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Did you know?

Did you know?
Using laser beam machining, we can drill holes of diameter 0.005mm

Finally we know how to make a hole for size of your penis.

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Supervisor: How did you manage to burn down the house, I just told you drill a few holes in the wall!

Worker: I'm sorry... But it was a fire drill

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My Neighbours knocked on my door at 3am!

I mean can u believe it? I almost dropped my power drill!

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WTF Did I Just read (say this on a post)

I've been very depressed for a while and just moved back to my third world home country 2 days ago. All my past friends are gone and looking at the playground I once used to play in with all my friends now dark and deserted made me cry. My parents are completely oblivious to this. Yesterday I don't know what happened to me but I decided to kill myself. My parents were not home and I took


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A heartless drill instructor screamed at his platoon for over an hour.

He got in the face of a private and yelled, “I bet when I die you’ll show up at my grave and spit on it!”

“Not me,” the private said. “After I get out of the army I’m never standing in a line again.”

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Drill Sergeant I'm done

Drill Sergeant is yelling at recruits then decided to make rucrutes do mountain climbers. 20 minutes in the rucrutes totally stops and drill sergeant angrily walks over towards him says
"WHY DID YOU STOP YOUR CLIMBING RECRUTE"
Rucrute answers back "SIR this rucrute has reached the top of the mountain SIR"

(Hope you found it funny!!)


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A Group of Soldiers are getting Grilled by their D.S.

To pay for their mistakes, they are ordered to do mountain climbers.

5 minutes in, one of the soldiers stops and stands up.

"And what the Hell do you think you are doing, soldier?"

The soldier replied "Drill Sergeant, this soldier has made it to the top!"

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I was going to show you a video about a drill machine digging a tunnel.

But it's too boreing.

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I had a friend who was bored out of his mind at work.

No ones really quite sure how the freak drill-press accident happened.

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How do you catch a polar bear?

You drill a big hole in the ice and sprinkle some frozen peas in it.

Then when he goes for a pea you kick him in the ice-hole!

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Have you guys heard of the serial killer that uses a power drill as his murder weapon of choice?

It was reported that he had bored all of his victims to death.

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I have an evil masterplan.

I'm going to drill a huge hole through the Moon and thread a massive piece of string through it.


Then I will finally be able to conker the World

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I've been to the dentist so many times!

I know the drill.

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I've been to the dentist many times...

I know the drill.

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The Drill Sergeant

It was 5:00 in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellows,
"This is an inspection! I wanna see you's all formed up outside butt naked NOW!"
So, the soldier's quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks. The


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What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

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An Australian man decided to join the US Army.

On his first day of training, the drill Sargent screamed in his face,

“DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE!?!”

The Australian responded, “No sir. I came here yesterdie!”

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My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together.

At first it's boring, but later on, it's riveting!

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What is it called when you leave your office building well before the fire drill begins?

Premature evacuation

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The blind construction worker at my school accidentally pulled the fire alarm.

I don't think the fire alarm was a drill.

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John, the simulation is over.

This is not a drill. Please wake up John. You have to wake up now. This is the only way we can communicate to you. Don't worry, only you can see this.

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If earth could talk, what do you think it would say?

“Drill me”

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A drill Sargent is yelling at a bunch of Privates:

If you don't wear your hat when it's cold, you can get meningitis! Meningitis is a terrible disease! If you get it, you either die or become a retard! My brother and I had it! He died, but I was lucky!

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Ten cadets were training at a Mexican boot camp,

Their first task was to complete an obstacle course to test their physical capabilities.

The drill sergeant told the cadets that they were given the opportunity to go in whatever order they wanted, and would be assigned a number based on that order.

The first and last spots were taken quickly, as some were more willing to prove themselves than others.

The dr


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Ten cadets were training at a Mexican boot camp

Their first task was to complete an obstacle course to test their physical capabilities.

The drill sergeant told the cadets that they were given the opportunity to go in whatever order they wanted, and would be assigned a number based on that order.

The first and last spots were taken quickly, as some were more willing to prove themselves than others.

The


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A drill sergeant walks into a bar...

And orders a beer and a shot. The bartender obliges, ant tells him it’ll be $10. The drill sergeant slams both drinks. He turns to the bartender and says, “I tell you what, I will show you a trick so good, you’ll give me both those drinks for free.”
The bartender says, “This better be a good trick.” The drill sergeant stands up on his stool, unzips hi


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What did the dentist say to his patient when he got his drill out?

Brace for impact.

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One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall.

After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them

"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!

Eat up!

Get up!"

Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"

Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in u


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The Drill SGT and the private

SGT: you come here to die kid
PVT: no sir, I came here 6 months ago, sir!
SGT:You a smartass kid?
PVT:no sir I only scored a 67 on the ASVAB, I was moved forward for my ability to respond correctly and follow orders
SGT:so, you like to follow orders huh
PVT:no sir I just like food

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A Drill Sergeant walks into a Whore House (NSFW)

A Drill Sergeant walks into a Whore House and asks for a companion for the evening and a lady joins him upstairs in a room.

She starts getting undressed and he decides to show her a trick. The Drill Sergeant says, "Wait, watch this, I wanna show you a trick."

He takes off his uniform and hangs it up then says in his most commanding voice, "Dick! ATTENCH-HU


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What do you call a guy that nuts during a fire drill

Premature evacuation

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The wife of a rich businessman caught him fooling around with the maid.

"All right, mister", she says, "you know the drill. If you want to get away with it and not lose half of your fortune, you'd better buy me a ring. With big rocks this time!"

So, he bought her the Stonehenge.

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What is Neymar's favorite drill to practice?

The fire drill

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