Draw

Jokes

Why did it take so long for Labour to expel Alistair Campbell

It's really difficult to draw a pentagram around a moving target.

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I really have to pull out all the stops to convince the wife to make love

Light some candles for a romantic atmosphere, scented oils, a sacrificial goat and its blood to draw the pentagram, and she still screams "who are you?! Is that a dead animal? Why is there blood every where? The house is on fire!"

Things got pretty lit

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I entered a raffle at IKEA

I'm worried that if I win some furniture the colours won't match my room. I guess it's just the look of the draw.

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I am pretty good at almost all areas of Math

But graphing is where I draw the line

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Why do nurses use red pens?

In case they need to draw blood



P.s my mom told me this

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I tried a few drugs here and there in my life. Weed, painkillers, alcohol etc.

But when it comes to cocaine I draw the line.

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I asked my sister in law (she's a nurse) why she always carries a red pen with her.

She tells me...
Oh it's in case I have to draw blood.

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Did you ever hear the story of Toeless Joe?

He was quick to the trigger and slow to the draw

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I teased my dad about being bald, so he told me he was going to draw lots of rabbits on his head.

From a distance they will look like hares.

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Im okay with cigarettes, alcohol, and even marijuana.

But cocaine is where I draw the line.

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I used to be paranoid when I jerked off. I would draw the curtains, open private browsing, lock the door, get excuses ready and everything else, but I overcame that and now I can masturbate at the drop of a hat.

Get kicked out of a lot of hat stores, though

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If my death is ever part of a crime scene, then I hope they dont draw a chalk outline around my body.

That type of evidence sketches me out.

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How do you draw a crowd?

With a pen.

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All the comic books I inherited from my brothers had the last pages missing.

I had to draw my own conclusions.

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Anyone know similar jokes?

Do y’all know the joke where you draw a bird, point to body parts on the bird, then when they say the wing you tell them to repeat it- so they say “wing wing wing” and you fold up the piece of paper and put it on their finger, pick it up, and say “hello?”
Does anyone know what those kinds of jokes are called or any similar ones?


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What do whales like to draw with?

A-krill-ic paint.

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My wife lied to me

She said "This is where I draw the line" and instead she drew her sign on the divorce papers.

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How do you draw a tree?

Draw a seed and wait.

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I was astonished my girlfriend managed to draw her eyebrows on at the right height instead of too high for once but when I told her...

She didn't seem surprised.

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Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime...

... Give a man a pen, and he'll draw a penis

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Fathers Day

I was going to draw my dad a picture for fathers day but I didn't know what to do so I drew a blank.

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Recently I was lost in the jungle but luckily I had a compass with me...

So I could draw perfect circles with a pencil...

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What Did The Cowboy Say To The Pencil!?!

"DRAW!!!!!!"

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My sister in law is a nurse and she always has a red pen with her.

I asked her why and she laughed and said ...you never know when I may have to draw blood.

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Cats are just like other bitches...

...sees a draw string and wants to attack the nuts.

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My cat is just like our bitches...

...sees my draw string and wants to attack my nuts.

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Did you hear about the man who would draw without a rough draft?

Of course not. He disappeared without a trace.

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I'm ok with most drugs

But cocaine is where I draw the line

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Walking through town, a guy on a corner offered to draw a picture of me and my wife and showed me some of the other things he was working on...

...I would have bought one, but his portfolio was super sketchy.

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I had an art contest with my friend.

It ended in a draw.

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Why do North Koreans draw such straight lines?


They have a supreme ruler.

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The police stopped me, came up to my window and said"papers"

I said "scissors, i win" and draw off. Fucker must want a re-match he has been chasing me for 30 minutes.

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What do you call a mom who can't draw?

Tracey.

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Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

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Would would happen if you cut yourself with a pencil?

You would draw blood

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Q is showing James Bond a new super high tech spy earpiece and Bond says, "why don't I just wear an airPod? Everyone has them hanging out their ears nowadays. I won't draw any suspicion."

Q responds, "we researched them. Ours are less expensive."

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Why do influencers always carry a pencil?

To draw attention

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Why do influencers always carry a pencil?

To draw attention

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Why do instagramers always carry a pencil?

To draw attention

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Why Do Nurses Carry Red Pens?

So they can draw blood.

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Why do nurses bring a red crayon to work?

In case they have to draw blood

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Do I have to draw you a picture?

Son: "Dad, a kid got in trouble at school today for saying "bitch" and "pussy", what does that mean?"

Dad: Grabs an old muffler shop calendar and a marker. "Look here Junior." Dad uses the marker and circles the genitalia of the nude Miss December, then points. "That right there, that is one fine pussy."

Son: Not su


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My friends kept offering me drugs

But when they offered me cocaine I had to draw the line

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Im okay with smoking, alcohol and marijuana

But cocaine is where I draw the line

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Why did the meticulous animator get fired from the western cartoon?

She wasnt quick enough on the draw.

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Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

Just in case she needed to draw blood!

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Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needs to draw blood.

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I am fine letting other people dot my "i"s

But crossing my "t"s?

That's where I draw the line.

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Why aren't there more pencil fights in ufc?

Last time it lead to a draw!

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After Christian rock wasn't able to draw in a younger crowd the Catholic Church decided to release a mixtape...

Apparently it was fire

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