Drag

Jokes

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Because if you drug them by their feet they'd fill up with dirt

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Did you hear that the drag queen named Dorothy left her boyfriend?

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What's the difference between a drag queen and a dragon queen?

You stab a drag queen in the back...

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I'm the perfect fifth wheel.

My friends love to drag me around behind their truck.

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Last night people where drag racing outside my building...

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One time, I was in a record store called Drag.

I found this record that looked cool, and I was really hoping it was Debussy. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a Queen record.

Long story short, I wanted Debussy, but it turned out to be a Queen in Drag.

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I have a dog with no legs called Cigarette.

Every day, I take Cigarette out for a drag.

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Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

So their vagina don't get filled with rocks.

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Need help developing a joke

Punchline "Queen pooper of King Sooper's"

Setup: punchline about wife or homosexuals in drag using the restroom at King Soopers

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My wife caught me dressing in drag and decided that we were over.

So I picked up her stuff and left.

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Dad joke

Every day I take my Dog out for a drag.

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What do you call men in women's clothes running

a drag race

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My dog has no legs. I call himWoodbine...

.. ,cos I’m always taking him out for a drag.

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Bad Day Golfing

A guy comes home after a day of golf, his wife asks him how his round went.

Guy replies: It was terrible! In the middle of the 17th Green, Bob had a heart attack and died!

Wife: Oh my goodness! That's terrible!

Guy: You're telling me. After that it was hit the ball, drag Bob, hit the ball, drag Bob.


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My grandfather adopted a legless dog and named him Cigarette.

And after a long day, he goes for a drag.

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I have a dog with no legs.



I call him Cigarette because every evening when I get home from work I take him for a drag.

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Why are drag queens such terrible liars?

Because even after covering up what they don't want people to see, they can't keep a straight face.

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The worst drug in the world

is the one people use incorrectly as past tense form of the verb to drag.

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Do you know what the opposite of a drag race is?

I don't, but the truck driver passing another on the interstate sure might.

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Such a drag

Drunk guy, sitting at a bar, gets cut off. When he goes to stand up and protest, he falls flat on his face. Saying to himself, “Holy sh!t I’m boxed!” When he goes to pick himself up he finds that he can’t stand up. So, he drags himself all the way back home. When he’s finally there, bloody knees and all, he spots his wife sitting on the porch waiting for him.


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Why do cavemen drag women by their hair?

If they dragged them by their feet they would fill up with mud.

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Why did cave men drag women back to their caves by their hair? NSFW

Because if they drug them by their feet, their pussy would fill up with dirt.

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Life is a drag

A mysterious mythical creature once asked me, is life going to dragon forever.

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Jane was waiting for Sam to return from an outing with his boss. Around 6:30 p.m., she began to worry.

Sam finally stumbled in around 8pm, and looked exhausted and worn out.

"What happened? You were supposed to be here 3 hours ago. You look horrible!"

Sam caught his breath and collapsed on his couch. "We were playing golf... we got to the third hole, and the boss had a heart attack and died on the spot."

Jane gasped. "Oh my God- that


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I have a dog with no legs.

I call him Cigarette because every evening when I get home from work I take him for a drag.

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A man who well call Bob comes back from his morning golf with his friends looking visibly tired

His wife says to him “why are you so tired?” He responds solemnly saying: “Harry had a heart attack and died on the 4th tee.”

“That’s horrible!” his wife says. “Tell me about it” said Bob. “After that it was just hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry.”


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Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick her candy
But Jack got a shock
And a mouth full of cock
Cause Jill’s real name is Randy

-told by a local drag queen. Happy pride month!

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I like drag racing

Dressing up in women's clothing and driving down the street full speed

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I'm pleased with it.

(Came up with this earlier today and told my 14 year old daughter. She was not impressed.)

I'm going to write a new movie script. It will be about a locomotive that breaks down and must, by pure manpower alone, be pulled back to the rail yard.
I'll call it "How To Drag Your Train In."


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Three men are stuck on a deserted island,

There was a tribe on the island untouched by modern humans so far. The three men met the tribesmen and the tribesmen told them to go grab some fruit. The first man comes back with a peach, they tell him to shove it up his ass and he cant make a sound or they will kill him. He laughs because of the hairs halfway through, they impale him in the chest and drag him away.

The second man c


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I was told by my therapist to stop listening to Africa

but it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from it

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Did you hear about the man who had a dog without any legs?

Yeah, he called him cigarette.

He takes him out every night for a drag.

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If I could only sum up a drag queen toad floating on a bed of its own mucus in one word...

It would have to be Phlegm-buoyant

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So I finally decided to check out the local trans convention

It was such a drag.

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Did you hear about the Furry Convention in Kings Landing this year?

It drag-on, and on, and on.

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Do you hear about the Furry Convention in Kings Landing this year?

It just drag-on, and on, and on.....

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What do you call a monarch that plays tug of war ?

A drag queen.

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Hwta do you call a monarch that plays tug of war?

A drag queen

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Why are drag queens such good swimmers?

Because they're very flambuoyant.

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A legless crossdresser?

Drag Queen

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What do you call a broke-down speedster?

A drag racer

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I went to a job fair and loudly announced that somebody was either going to have to give me a job or drag me out kicking and screaming.

I'm an editor at WikiLeaks now.

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I'm afraid we'll have to get used to black hole jokes.

The situation will drag on for a while.

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If horse racing is the "sport of kings"

is drag racing the sport of queens?

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There Is going to be a new show on VH1 where Caitlyn Jenner challenges someone new to a foot race every week.

They are calling it “Drag Race.”

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Theres going to be a new show on E. Rupaul races someone one on foot each week.

They care calling it “Drag Racing.”

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What's the difference between life and a joke?

Life is short and to the point, while jokes just seem to drag on and on and on and on and on and on...

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AA isnt working for me.

My drag costume requires at least C cup.

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If RuPauls father was in the mafia, how would he have reacted the first time he saw his son in drag?

“Look how they mascara’d my boy!”

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A man is in his local...

It comes to to chucking out time so he gets up to leave but collapses. He tries again but again collapses so he decides to drag himself outside to sober up in the fresh air but still cant stand. So he is forced to drag himself home, still tryin to stand on the way but he still cant mange to get up, he eventually gets home and collapses into bed. He awakes with his wife standing over him, she is ra


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