Dose

Jokes

What dose Gordon Ramsay say when he is fucking a sheep?

\#WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE

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An explosive situation

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How many police officers dose it take to change a light bulb?

*None*, they just beat the room for being black

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How police officers dose it take to change a light bulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black

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BMW thinks of everything

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Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?

He took 1/50 of the recommended dose.

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A Spanish magician was doing a trick.

He said, "On the count of three, I will disappear."

Then he waved his wand and said, "Uno, dose," but was gone without a trace.

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A mexican magician was doing a magic trick.

He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace

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A mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a tres.

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As a guy, I hate periods too.

But how else am I supposed to get my monthly dose of iron?

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What do you call 10 CCs of Avocado?

Avoca-dose

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What do Seasons 1-5 of GOT and The Lion King prove?

Sometimes the greatest stories of our time have a healthy dose of incest

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Where dose a rabbit go when its lost its tail?

The retail store.

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Gonorrhea

A man goes to the doctors after his toe goes black and swells up. After he is diagnosed with a dose of gonorrheaon his foot. He asked if it was rare. The doctor told him 'about as rare as the woman we had in yesterday, with athlete's cunt’

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Why do doctors always tell me to take half a dose?

Isn't that just an 'uno'?

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Which dance do doctors enjoy the most?

The Dosey-Dose

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I broke up with girlfriend,she caught me with her friend.

But it's all good, my wife dose not know.

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LifeProTip: If you have a bad cough.

Take a large dose of laxatives... then you'll be too scared to cough.

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A Russian woman went to a doctor, because she had burnt her fingers on a pan and was also feeling lonely.

The doctor prescribed her a daily dose of *'Aloe, Vera!*

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My friend told me he would be taking 50mg of heroin

I told him to shoot for a higher dose.

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My friend told me he would be taking 50mg of heroin

I told him to shoot for a higher dose.

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Im a tablet that makes you feel stronger, but you start to have sporadic movements when you dont have your dose. What am I?

A cough drop.

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What dose a depressed keemstar say?

Leettts get riggght into the noose

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Daily Dose o jokes

I found my friend in a cereal box. He’s a fruit loop, if you get what 8 mean.

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How many kids with ADHD dose it take to change a light bulb?

Let's ride our bikes!

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What differences dose a preist and achne have

Achne waits till ur 13 to come on ur face

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A man went to the doctors office to get a double dose of Viagra.

The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor. “But I need it really bad,” said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor. The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my


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For a man named Amir...

What dose Amir see when he looks in the mirror?
Amir

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For a man named Amir...

What dose Amir see when he looks in the mirror?
Amir

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How many hipsters dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

It’s a really obscure number, you’ve probably never heard it...

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I took my regular dose of Viagra, which lasts an hour

But then a Chanukah miracle occurred and now I'm in the hospital.

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What dose my wife say to the abuse clinic

Nothing if she knows what’s good for her

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Man these party drugs kids are taking are getting weirder and weirder.

Just heard they are now breathing large amounts of nitrous oxide after taking a huge dose of exlax.

It's street name is Shits and Giggles.

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Speaking from experience: Be careful of the dose you take when taking coldflu drugs, if you ingest too much the drugs can become fatal.

I almost caught myself taking the recommended amount.

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How many Americans dose it take to change a light bulb?

none, because china already took that job.

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A dose of salts can wake you and a dose of poison can kill you. So if you mix the two together, you can wake-up and die at the same time.

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A does of salts can wake you and a dose of poison can kill you, So if you mix the two together you can wake up and die at the same time.

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A does of salts can make you conscious, a dose of poison can kill you.

If you mix the two together you can wake up and die

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Road work

Road work ahead uhhh ya I sure hope it dose

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I regularly take a healthy dose of skepticism

but I am beginning to think it's a sugar pill

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How many feminists dose it take to change a lightbulb?

None, feminists can’t change anything.

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A cowboy walks into a bar

and orders a dose of the strongest drink available. The bartender serves a glass, the cowboy drinks it all in a single swallow, hits the glass on the table and asks for more.

The bartender serves another dose and the cowboy again drinks it all in one gulp and asks for more. The bartender serves the third dose of his strongest drink and equally the cowboy drinks everything in one gulp.


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Just before bed I take a dose of yeast with some Lemon Pledge.

It helps me rise and shine in the morning.

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My drug dealer sold me a lethal dose...

for a killer price!

(maybe r/dadjokes?)

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Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.

They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.

The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.

Papa Bear said, “Me very thankful, me did a tankful.”

Mama Bear said, “Me very grateful, me did a plateful.”


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What season dose Humpty Dumpty hate the most?

The Fall.

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What kind of car dose a feminist drive?

A PTSD cruiser!

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What's the difference between consensual sex, and non consensual sex?

The dose.

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The difference between a pharmacist and a priest...

Is how they give a child a daily dose of D.

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Full Dose of Laughter - Nonstop

I bought a new printer because
it was cheaper than ink refills.
Now I'm wondering how long before
new cars are cheaper than fuel.

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