Dock

Jokes

I can't focus on just one dock it's so hard

Having Gay DD

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Where did the boat go when it got sick?

The Doc(k)

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Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one.....The others escaped with minor injuries.

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A young submarine pilot is put on a discovery voyage

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Why do Swedish ships take so long to dock?

They gotta Scandinavian

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Hickorey Dickorey dock....

3 mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other two escaped with minor injuries

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If your boat gets sick, I know a great dock.

It's pier-reviewed.

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An old Scottish builder walks into a bar.

He sits down orders a tall beer, and tells the bartender

You see that fence out back, i built it 10 miles long, all by hand. But do they call me McGregor the fence builder, no

You see that dock out front, i hammered all the post in 14 feet of water sanded the deck boards. But do they call me McGregor the dock builder, no

But you fuck one goat...


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I walked into an Irish pub and sat down with a beer

In the corner sat an old man by himself, looking down. So I got another beer and went to talk to him.

I sat down with him, and asked him what was wrong. He pointed out the window and said:

“You see that beautiful house at the end of the road? That’s my house, I built it myself. Do they call me McGregor the home builder? NO”

“Did you se


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My brother in law had issues at the lake this weekend. His dock collapsed again. I told him the secret fix to resolve his issues.

He needs to call a doctor.

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Hickery Dickery Dock

The mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one.

The other got away with minor injuries...

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Why does Norway put barcodes on all its ships?



So when they dock they can Scandinavian

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Why does Norway put barcodes on all its ships?

So when they dock they can Scandinavian

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A man walked into a bar in Scotland, sat down and ordered a drink.

Next to him was a leathery old Scotsman, well into the bottle in front of him.

The man asked the Scotsman if there was something the matter.

The Scot replied; "Aye lad, indeed there is. You see this bar here? I made this bar with me own two hands, slowly crafting it in the time-honored way of my forebears. It took me 4 months, but do they call me MacGregor the bar-bu


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My cousin tried to leave after talking shit about our dock on the lake.

I wasn't just going to let him dis a pier.

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Why do you dock?

cuz boat.

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There was a man on a dock fishing in a tuxedo.

A curios gentleman walked up to him and says"excuse me sir,why are you fishing in your tuxedo?
"Well,I just got married" he replied
"congratulations" he said,"but shouldn't you be in your hotel room banging your new bride"
"Well,she has Aids"
"Man, sorry to hear that.Well what about a blow job?"
No,she has an


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A man seas a boat full of people from atop a hill.

He was very curious as to who was on the boat and had time to waste, so he decided to walk down to the dock and take a look.
When he got down there he did not see a single soul in sight.
Everyone on the boat was a ginger.

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December in Chicago

It was nearing the end of December in Chicago, and many were using their holiday breaks as a means to escape the cold winter. Dave Blanchfield was one such person. Dave worked for an insurance firm based in the “Windy City”, and had recently booked a trip to the Bahamas,

On the 27th of December, Dave got up early and drove to the airport. He checked in his baggage, cleare


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Two guys are peeing into a lake from a dock

The first guy says "dang, this water is really cold"
The second guy says "and really deep"

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A guy walks in to a pub in Ireland..

A guy walks in to a pub in Ireland, no one is there but the bartender. He decided to sit down and have a pint.

They strike up a conversation, the bartender says, “you see this bar here? It’s the nicest bar in all of Ireland. It’s 100% oak, chopped the trees down myself. It’ll be here for 100’s of years. But do you think they call me McGreggor the bar buil


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McGregor's Legacy

A big Scot is sitting in a bar, ranting as he downs his pints. He pounds his hand on the bar, says "You see this bar? I built this bar with me own two hands, a finer piece of work you'll newver find, but do they call me MacGregor the bar-builder? No!!" and he downs his pint and buys another.


He points out the window. "See that dock in the lake? I bui


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TIL there was a Pink Floyd album that only featured songs about shipyards.

Matter of fact, it's all dock.

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Sponsored by doctor sues

Hickory dickory dock the mouse sucked off my cock

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Hickery dickery dock. The mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,
And the others suffered minor injuries.

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I heard about the story of the magical dock

The story goes that the dock was never built by anyone, but one day, it just apiered

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I put a weight on a dock,

Now that’s what I call pier pressure.

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Why does the norweigan navy put barcodes on their ships?

So when they dock, they can scandinavian.

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Johan, the ...

I was passing through a local village and decided to take a break from my travels and rest at the inn. Fortunately, the inn was attached to the local pub in which all the locals gathered for evening drinks. After dropping my bags off, I was excited to spend time and get to the know the town folk. As the evening goes by, I noticed a burly looking man who has been alone at the bar all evening.


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Hey Zoolander! Are you gonna dock your sub in that Mermaid?

Murmansk! Murmansk!

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Shamus....

Ya see tha' wall over there lad? I built that wall. I built that wall with mine own two hands. I chiseled every brick, laid every speck of mortar. 

But they don't call me Shamus the wall builder, no. 

Ya see tha' dock down there lad? I built that dock with mine own two hands. I drove every post, laid every board. 

But they don�


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Why do Norwegians and Swedes put bar codes on their military ships?

So when they dock, they can Scandinavian.

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Why do norwegians put barcodes on their ships?

So when they dock, they can scandinavian.

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Guy walks into a bar.

The place is totally packed standing room only except for one seat at the bar next to an older man. So the guy walks over and sits down. The older man turns to him and say hey! You see this bar? I made this bar, I sanded it I planed it, I wrapped the leather around the edge, do they call me McGregor the bar builder? Noo.

And out the window there on that lake, you see that dock? I bui


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A dock worker walks into a Mercedes-Benz dealership and asks "How much is a S65 AMG?"

The dealer says:

-$229,500.

- Any good lease deals?

- $2909 a month for 72 months, $14500 due at signing.

- Still too expensive. Any preowned ones?

- Prices for this generarion start at $86,095.

- Still hella expensive.

- Would you prefer a cheaper model?

- I would, but we just had a container


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December in Chicago (long)

It was nearing the end of December in Chicago, and many were using their holiday breaks as a means to escape the cold winter. Dave Blanchfield was one such person. Dave worked for an insurance firm based in the “Windy City”, and had recently booked a trip to the Bahamas,

On the 27th of December, Dave got up early and drove to the airport. He checked in his baggage, cleare


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Why did the lemmings jump from the dock?

Too much pier pressure

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Why did the boat dock collapse under it's own weight?

Too much pier pressure.

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How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial?

Have it decided by a jury of his piers

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The Cool Clam Club

Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.

Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initiation was quite possibly the most dangerous stunt you could pull; however, if you passed, you got a


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Why can't the gay Jewish sailor stay in any harbour?

Because he can't dock.

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I asked the guy at the loading dock how long the new incline had been there.

He got mad and started yelling so loud I couldn't understand the ramp age.

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I need 99 volunteers. At least two must be men.

Hey, does any man wanna play "Interstellar" with me? I just hang upside down on a moving ceiling fan with a boner and you spin on a stool and try to dock with me?

If anyone else is interested you could pretend to be Christopher Nolan and just get beaten off by everyone watching.

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Two pirates meet on a dock...

The first pirate notices the other has a peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye-patch.

First Pirate: "Yar! What happened to you matey?!"


Second Pirate: "I got thrown overboard during a storm and me leg bitten off by a shark!"


First Pirate: "Oh no! That's terrible luck! But what happened to yer hand!"


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A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"

The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."

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Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock?

Because of all the ports

(Told to me by my wife)

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Hickory hickory Dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one

and the other two got away with minor injuries

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How did Otis Redding die?

He fell off the dock of the bay.

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NSFW What is a gynecologists favorite kind of joke?

A cock-dock joke.

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What starts with FU and ends with CK?

FUEL DOCK

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