Dizzy

Jokes

Ike calls his wife from the police station. He says he was arrested during 80s night at the local bar.

“What happened?”, inquired his wife.

“You see...”, Ike replies, “...they were playing 80’s music that night, and drunk me had the bright idea of doing something related to the song that was playing at that moment.”

“...Would you mind elaborating?”

“Ok then,” sighed Ike, “One time, they pl


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I smoked weed for the first time. A few minutes in I started to feel dizzy and didn't know if I was acting wierd.

So I asked a tree: Is this normal?

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What would have happened if the Trojans spun the wooden horse around really fast?

The select group of Greeks probably would have gotten O-dizzy-us

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Its hard to tell, as Im so dizzy from twirling, but

it looks like the rest of the losers in this spin class are just sitting on bikes!

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I had to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me dizzy

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A father and son are out for a walk

The son says, “Dad, today at school I heard someone say that their dad was an alcoholic, what’s an alcoholic?”

The dad replied, “Well an alcoholic is someone who is addicted to drinking alcohol and getting drunk.”

The son said, “What’s it like being drunk, is it fun?”

The dad said, “Being drunk makes you


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Did you hear about the dizzy marsupial?

It was a wobbly wallaby.

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A woman with a small vagina was sick

She was so dizzy but she had to get to bed and rest. When she was walking , she accidentally broke her biggest plastic dick.

"No big deal , though."

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Okay, so get this.

A guy walks into a bar, the guy gets dizzy because the bar is made out of metal.

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A man went to a doctor and said Doctor, I feel dizzy for half an hour when I wake up, and then I feel fine

To which the doctor replied, “Well then, wake up half an hour later!”

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I got rid of my carbon monoxide detector last night

The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.

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I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm....

It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.

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An American guy ends up in the hospital with an Australian doctor

Feeling very weak and dizzy, the patient asked:

-Did I come here to die?

-No, you came here yesterday.

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Two really dizzy people just started hitting on me.

[deleted]

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What do you call a dizzy asian?

Disorientaled.

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I was attacked at a birthday party by a Mexican man with a baseball bat.

Thankfully he was blindfolded and extremely dizzy.

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New Girlfriend (14)

(*pensively*):
Hmmm, I guess things are really getting serious between me and my girlfriend, uh, Lizzy, because I just added the song "Dizzy Miss Lizzy" to my favourites playlist.
(*lightheartedly*):
I mean, I don't even particularly like that song.

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Story of a dizzy blond !!!!

This is a story of a poor dizzy blond flying in a seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She,frantic,calls out a May Day.
"May day! May day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and i dont know how to fly. Help me! Please Help me!"

She heards a voice over the radio saying:
"This is air traffic control


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A husband and wife are arguing...

"What would you do if I won the lottery?" he demands.

"I'd take half the money and be gone so fast you'd be dizzy," she replies.

"My scratch ticket won ten bucks. Here's five. Let me get the door."

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Heavenly gift?

A young brunette stewardess is on her first international flight, flying from Los Angeles to Sydney, Australia. Just as the jet approaches the equator, the cabin door pops open and she is sucked out. She screams for a while, and figures that she is going to die.

Seeing nothing but water below her, she begins to think that she may survive the fall, but she is worried that if her cloth


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Why was the geometry teacher so dizzy?

Cause he kept going in circles...

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A group of senior citizens were talking...

...at the breakfast table in a Palm Springs nursing home.

"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreemen


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I was standing drunk at the men's urinal in the pub

shaking my little man after a piss when I heard, "Stop it, Dad. You're making me dizzy."

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A guy is sitting at the bar with a worried look on his face.

The bartender sees him and says "Hey man, are you alright?"
The guy says "I'm not sure but I'm thinking there's something's wrong with me."
The bartender asks him "Do you have any idea of what might be wrong?"
The guy explains, "Well before I go to work, my wife jumps me and we have sex three times. And when I get to wo


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