Disregard

Jokes

Why was the dim sum restaurant condemned?

They had a wonton disregard for safety.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question, a superfluously expanded vocabulary, and a blatant disregard for previously established axioms?

A punchline.

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Please disregard any messages you receive from Lizzie Borden's parents...

They've been hacked

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YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS!

If you have already paid, please disregard this message.

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You will pay for your sins!

If you have already paid, please disregard this message.

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Chad never changed.

This is my first joke, I'm formatting on mobile so if any mistakes please disregard, Thank you!


So Chad is this troublemaker in class, he always never respected the teacher he screamed at a teacher and got kicked out of class

Nobody saw him for 20 years since that day

So the teacher had a heart attack and was taken quickly to the hospital and the


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Wrong Seat


An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios i


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Crosspost from rWTF, seen on a menu

Please disregard if you saw this in /r/wtf.

http://i.imgur.com/1oqlvz3.jpg

[Original post](http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1wtukn/this_is_printed_in_an_english_menu_at_a_mexican/)

Transcribed:

Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their moms clean it.


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