Display

Jokes

To any new parent!

Use the old age filter on your kid.

Print it out, frame it and display it where they will see it daily.

At some point they will realise it's them.

Convince them they're a time traveller

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Dumb joke alert

There was a guy named Ted who was dumb (couldn't speak).He did not like his name and went to a court to change it .

The lawyer wrote several names and pinned them on a display board. Ted had to choose one of them

The lawyer asked him to point to be no-ted.

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Dumb joke alert

There was a guy named Ted who was dumb (couldn't speak). He did not like his name and went to a court to change it .

The lawyer wrote several names and pinned them on a display board. Ted had to choose one of them

The lawyer asked him to point to be noted.

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Your ability to combine photos into a beautiful and evocative display is amazing!

Well, I am a collage graduate.

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I can't stand the new Apple display

I only have $4,999

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I can't stand the new Apple display

I only have $4,999

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I can't stand the new Apple display

I only have $4,999

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I'm totally against drugs...

I backed into the sample display at my local cannabis dispensary.

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I just purchased Apple's new Pro Display XDR for $5000

I unpacked it, but couldn't stand it on my desk.

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If I had a penny for everytime people complain about the price of a Mac Display Stand,

I could afford a Mac Display Stand.

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There was a farmer who loved farming.

However, there was a businessman who wanted to shut the farm down, and make a building in the land. He tried his best to make sure the farm shut down. One day, he went to the farmer and said, "Your produce is probably rotten! Display your produce exactly 5cm from your window, to prove that your produce is actually fresh!". The next time the businessman came, he was surprised. Almost all


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My friend just collapsed into a display of golf clubs,

Paramedics are doing what they can but he’s not out of the woods yet.

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How do Scottish people describe a no display error?

nvidia

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What do you call a prostitute?

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry

What do you call a prostitute in a car park?

Pay and display

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I need suggestions. I am going to buy a phone for around 2000-2500 $.

The phone should have a high quality camera, with HD 4K retina display. The storage must be nearly 256GB and Ram should be more than 64GB.

​

Please suggest how to get 2500 $.

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Gateman

Billy was proud of his endowment.

He shows up at the headquarters of the BigDix association in Vegas and announces he wants to run for president.
He walks up to the receptionist and asks for a form.
Receptionist says he must first submit for verification.

Billy pulls up his pants and shows his instrument tucked into his socks.

Receptionist respon


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The Jedi display the general consensus of Americans in todays age.

You’re one of three things: white, black, or an alien.

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Its not Funny

A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make people laugh and is not meant to be taken seriously

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Why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12!



A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of th


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Two pieces of underwear are hanging on display in a lingerie shop. One turns to the other and says:

"I love you brah."

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Two pieces of underwear are hanging on display in a lingerie shop.

One turns to the other and says:
"I love you brah."

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Why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12!

A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health cl


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Today I lost my cool, when this obnoxious, mediterranean exchange student barged into our art class. I was trying to paint the kiwi fruits we had on display for a still life. Really messed up my painting.

Nobody expects the spanish in kiwi-session.

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What's the difference between a whorehouse and a circus?

A circus display cunning stunts, and a whorehouse has a great display of stunning c*ts

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Why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12!

A man walks into Boots with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at


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LPT: Need to know what someone is getting your for Christmas? Hang around while they surf Facebook and take note of the ads that display. They will reveal all.

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A farmer got an idea for how to make money off his farm in the off-season.

He had a huge property all bounded by a big, white fence end to end. Along that fence was an old country road where few people drove.

He decided he would set up a Christmas light display like he'd heard about others doing. It took him some time to gather all the lights necessary, but eventually through the sweat of his farmhands and an absurd number of extension cords, he was fin


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A retirement community is home to a famous dining hall

Shady Acres retirement community was home to a very famous dining hall. It had been designed by a model railroader, and had one of the most amazing and detailed miniature displays to be found anywhere. It had gorgeous scale murals painted on the walls, an amazing chandelier that looked like a sun on the ceiling, and it never failed to impress visitors with its detail and beauty. It was the envy


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Local Republicans complained about a public display supporting the migrant caravan

The Church apologized for the offense but refused to take down their Nativity set.

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Why Condoms comes in 3,6 and 12 Pack?

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe $ex.”

“Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “I’ve heard of that in health class at s


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Why did Alabama vote to display the 10 Commandments in schools?

I thought they wanted to put them where Alabamans actually go.

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Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.


They reach the road junction, and the sign display "Disneyland Left".

So, sadly, they went home...



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I went to a store and there was a sample table on display with depleted batteries:

Needless to say, they were free of charge.

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My ex should go into archaeology.

He's excellent at digging up and analyzing the past to put on display.

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A man walks into a bar

A guy on vacation in Spain walks into a bar and notices a large display on the wall. Hanging down are what look like rows of tennis balls on string. The guy asks the bartender about the display, and the bartender says proudly "The owners of this bar come from a long line of bullfighters. These are trophies from every bullfight in their family. The larger the testicles, the stronger and more a


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The Secretary of Defense sits in the Oval Office briefing Bush on Iraq...

"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaims the president, "That's terrible!" His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.
Finally, he looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"


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In the world cup, countries' display names is often the first three letters of the country. Such as Sweden has SWE and England has ENG.

I wonder why Nigeria doesn't use this system

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Arthur Dent' s house is about to be bulldozed,

When he's told the plans were on display for people to comment on in the basement of the planning commission office. This being the first he heard of this he immediately took a bus to the planning office in search for an way to save his house. He rushed into the office, ignoring the nun sitting at the front desk, looking for the basement stairs when he sees the sign pointing to a set of stair


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A man went to a Zoo, and all they had to display was a dog

It was a Shih Tzu

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If Apple launched a search engine..

It wouldn't display any results bcoz they don't scrape any thing.😂

Sorry

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What's on display at the French War Museum?

Running shoes

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What do you call a firework display jn reverse?

Bang out of order.

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Have to give it the iPhone x

It's display is top notch

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Mark zuckerberg and i were in a band once. We gave him a choice to play the melody, the harmony, or display our newsfeed in chronological order.

But no matter how much we didn't want him to, he kept insisting, "I'll go rhythms. "

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A man takes his kids to the zoo, but the zoo only has 1 small dog on display.

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Where does a penguin keep his money?

In a snow bank!

(disclaimer: saw this on the display of a local bank and I giggled).

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Whats the difference between a circus and a strip club?

You go to a circus to see a cunning display of stunts, but at a strip club you go to see a stunning display of cunts.

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What is the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

One is a display of cunning stunts while the other is stunning cunts.

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My cat jumped

at my Display Case....

It was a cat-has-trophy

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Two Chemists Walk Into a Bar

They sit at a table and the first says to the waiter, "I'll have some h2o."
The second chemist puts his face in his hands to hide his embarrassment, "I'll-- I'll have the same," he sputters between his fingers while the first chemist laughs riotously at his own absurdity. The waiter is slightly bashful at this irreverent display, but smiles despite himself.


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