Dispatch

Jokes

Why did the chief of police learn to cook?

He lost his "I"

And couldn't rely on dispatch

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Dispatch: Suspect is a black male

Dispatch: suspect is a black male.

Cop: (nervous) what is he doing?

Dispatch: .... breathing.

Cop: oh let's fucking do this!

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Ghostdriver

A cop riding around in his car hears on his dispatch:
There have been sightings of a ghostdriver watch out.

The cop says back in the dispatch :
One ghostdriver more like hundreds

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We call the offices to register Births, Marriages and Death's in our town....

Hatch em, Match em and Dispatch em.

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A woman hears a noise

She thinks it's and intruder and decides to call the cops. The dispatch officer asks her if she saw anything. She replies she only heard it but that she is sure someone is in her house because she can hear footsteps. The dispatch said that they would send the next available officer but that they were a little occupied at the moment and the closest officer was about 45 minutes away but will be


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An elderly couple...

An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.

Then they heard voices.

Three men had broken into the greenhouse.

Scared, they called the police.

The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.


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Dispatch: Be advised, we have a domestic disturbance call at 203 Ashbrook Dr

Police cruiser: 10:4 dispatch, twenty three fifteen responding.

Several minutes later...

Police cruiser: Dispatch, we have a female, Caucasian, in her seventies, she has shot her husband for walking on a floor she had just mopped.

Dispatch: 10:4 twenty three fifteen. Back up is on the way. Is the suspect under custody?

Police cruiser: Not yet. Th


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Dispatch Call



Two policemen call in to Dispatch.

"Hello, Dispatch?"

"Yes."

"This is sergeant John Smith. We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on a floor that she had just mopped clean."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"No, sir. The floor is


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A police sergeant walks over to the dispatch cop on duty and starts complaining...

A police sergeant walks over to the dispatch cop on duty and starts complaining. "You wouldn't believe the wackos that walk in here! I just had this guy come in, college-age, tells me he was at a party and when he went upstairs this chick tried to rape him. He said she was pullin' his clothes off and shoving him onto the bed. And he wants to press charges! I tell him, 'Kid, wha


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(OC) what did dispatch say to the dog catcher when he asked if he was done for the day?

You're golden retriever.

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