Disorder

Jokes

My nan has been diagnosed with a hereditary brain disorder.

The main symptoms are forgetting what you were talking about, repeating yourself, repeating yourself, and a quarter pounder with cheese.

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Its white, says moo but its not a cow

A sheep with a identity disorder

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I recently got diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

I have very mixed feelings about it.

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I realized recently I have an eating disorder.

I eat dis order, I eat dat order

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I finally went to see a therapist about my sex addiction.

He diagnosed me with a thot disorder.

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After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off.

"You're self-employed you stupid bastard," I said.

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I have a disorder called CDO

It's like OCD, except all the letters are in alphabetical order.

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"Doctor, Doctor..."

"I feel like a pair of curtains!"

"Pull yourself together man!"

"Fuck off! I've got some mental disorder and you're just telling me to man up? Go fuck yourself!"

"A classic's a classic!"

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Today, my therapist told me that I might have Multiple Personality Disorder.

I said, “Doctor, you must be talking to the wrong guy.”

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Joseph Merrick, also known as the elephant man was often harrassed due to his rare disorder however claimed the insults didn't affect him.

He had pretty thick skin.

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A man visits the doctor for a checkup.

"Your vitals look fine," he said. "But it looks like your sperm count is a bit low. Have you felt any changes in sexual desire or had difficulty in bed?"

"Now that you mention it, the last few times I've had an orgasm, I've felt like my entire testicle was being sucked through my dick!"

"Oh dear," the doctor said. "It


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I have body dysmorphic disorder

That means that I see myself differently to how you see me.

You probably see me as a skinny white man, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I see a fat Asian lady.

And she usually tells me to "Fuck off and stop looking through my window"

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My kid has Attention Deficit Disorder so I have sent him to a summer camp for kids with ADHD.

It's known as a Concentration Camp.

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What disorder tumbler have?

Do you kwon you disorder tumbler have?

IWAS - (I want attention symdrom)

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"Did you hear? They classified gaming disorder as a real illness"

"Who did?"

"Yeah"

"No I'm asking who classified it"

"Yeah they did"

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Help. Today I figured out I may have multiple personality disorder.

Edit: sorry false alarm. I didn't.

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Psychiatrist: It sounds like your wife has some sort of multiple personality disorder.

Me: I told you she has more than one person inside her.

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If Marty McFly had bipolar disorder...

....would that have made him Sweet n' Sour Chicken?

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My doctor just diganosed me with dissociative identify disorder, but honestly, we think he's full of shit.

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My doctor said I have multiple personality disorder

But we don't think so

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People keep telling me that I have split-personality disorder.

But that’s just me being frank with you all.

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Despite their many shortcomings...

The victims of Reduced Ejaculatory Load Disorder still strive to do their best on a day-to-day basis.

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My compulsive disorder restricts me from putting anything on the left..

But thats alright

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I took a personality disorder and it told me I was narcissistic, which is ridiculous.

A god can’t have a disorder!

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Jhonny always dreams of chimps playing football,

Thinking it could be a disorder he pays his doc a visit.
Doc: Well, you have dreaming disorder. Take this pill, before going to bed and you will recover soon.
Jhonny: when shall I start takin the pill
Doc: tonight. Sooner the better.
Jhonny: I'm afraid I can't take it today, I'm gonna have to start it from tomorrow.
Doc: why?
Jhonny: today is the


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In medieval times, there is a young boy who lives with his mother and has never met his father.

In medieval times, there is a young boy who lives with his mother and has never met his father. One day, he says to his mother:

Son: Mom, did my father have a genetic disorder that causes him to have a lump on his back

Mother: Why would you think that?

Son: I just have a hunch.

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My Roomba ran over dog poop in the house and is now suffering from PTSD.

Post Traumatic Shit Disorder.

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I wanted to volunteer at the tourettes disorder association

But they told me to go fuck myself.

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I do not have dissociative personality disorder

I don't.

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What do you call an attension disorder caused by watching too much TV?

80HD

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Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy.

But, I've always been more of a people person.

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Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder.

We're called "OC/DC."

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Did you know that diarrhea is a genetic disorder

It runs in your jeans!

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Since Christians believe that God is The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit

Clearly states that Jesus Christ suffered from Tripolar Disorder.

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I just got home from the psychiatrist and got some good and some bad news

The bad news: I got a bipolar disorder. And the good news: I got a
bipolar disorder.

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It's ironic that OCD is a "disorder".

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Me at the docters

so I was at the docters and the docter said you have a peeing disorder and that urine for a treat

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I failed my Pilot's License Exam for having Bi Polar Disorder.

I guess Dad said that could mess with the compass instruments.

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RIP Super Dave.

Martha Stewart tours a hospital. On the first floor a patient is masturbating. Martha asks what is that? He has a disorder that if he doesn't ejaculate three tines a day his groin will explode. She is cool and says okay it reminds me of being in prison. On the next floor a patient is getting a blowjob from a male nurse. Martha ask so what is that? It's the same disorder, but he has bette


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Martha Stewart tours a hospital.

On the first floor a patient is masturbating. Martha asks what is that? He has a disorder that if he doesn't ejaculate three tines a day his groin will explode. She is cool and says okay it reminds me of being in prison. On the next floor a patient is getting a blowjob from a male nurse. Martha ask so what is that? It's the same disorder, but he has better Insurance. Martja says well I d


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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen careful


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My friends always tell me I'm a real people person...

But my psychiatrist prefers the term 'multiple personality disorder.'

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Took my wife to the eye doctor to make sure she's looking good.

She doesn't seem to see the dirt and disorder in the house.

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My roommate is spreading rumours that I have multiple personality disorder.

Well, three can play that game!

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A Chinese man goes to the doctor for his eating disorder...

The doctor tells him, "you've got anorexia".

He says, "no, no, you wrong. I have Google Home".

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Did you know many redditors have a personality disorder?

They are Control-Vreaks.

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What do you call it when a shark has a mental disorder?

Jautism

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What do you call a marine mammal with a mental disorder?

Bipolar bear

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When the earth quakes,

is it suffering from mantle disorder?

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A Congressman is being given a tour of the new Hospital facility in his district.

The administrator takes him around the building and shows him the various wings and sections and explains what procedures and treatments are implemented in each area.

As they near the end of the tour, they come to a set of double doors at the end of a hallway.

"This last part is our sexual disorder wing," says the administrator. "There are some unusual th


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