Disk

Jokes

I swallowed a disk the other day

Gotta say didn't like it.
Too gamey

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Who ever stole my microsoft office disk, I will find you...

You have my word

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What did a cow ask to a music disk?

Muuuusic!


Edit: this is a repost because I wrote the title wrong and couldn't edit it.

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What did a cow ask to a music disk?

Muuuusic!


Edit: this is a repost because I wrote the title wrong and couldn't edit it.

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Why did the computer need to take viagra?

It had a floppy disk.

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A laptop meets a macbook.

His floppy disk turns into a hard drive.

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Dear whoever stole my disk copy of Microsoft Office.

I will find you, you have my word.

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The redacted Mueller report is being delivered via disk to officials. They're mad it's taking this long.

Don't they remember how long it took to burn a CD?

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Brilliant idea for a start-up

Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.

Gonna call it thanOS.

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A man put a disk in a PS4 and drove to the place he got it from

The drive was a hard drive

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Why did the robot need viagra?

His disk was floppy.

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What is the meaning of this? Why, it's replication and metabolism, of course.

Nature had just gotten to work at 9 AM and was drinking coffee out of a "best boss mug". Her secretary shows her what happened overnight.

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"Ma'am, the program to improve Earth's performance has just reached the next performance goal."

​

"Ugh. What are you talking about?"


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Alexa.... I'm feeling horny

Alexa, I am feeling horny.

Alexa : most certainly you are. Don't worry. I dimming the lights. Setting your ac to 22 degrees.

The dick hardner is kept on top right shelf of your wardrobe. The pussy gel is kept next to it.

I have hired your favourite Thai messeur. She is just 12 minutes away as per her uber ride status.

I have scheduled her 5


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Which hard drive is always the happiest?

Disk C:

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I posit that Earth is neither round nor flat, but...

a wavy disk like a Pringles chip.

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What do you call a disk that is not easy to break?

A hard disk.

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Forget flat Earth every single planet in the solar system is flat!

Get over it--they're all visually disk-shaped!

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What did the floppy disk say to the other floppy disk?

Wanna go out for a byte?

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I managed to engrave a song into a vinyl disk in under 2 minutes!

I think that's a new record

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What do you call someone who is a fascist over disk space?

Adolph Bitler

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Tech support call.

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind o


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Jokes that would make no sense to kids today.

I'm so lonely that I call Time and Temperature just to hear a woman's voice.

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"Dad, why won't my magnet pick up this floppy disk?"

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What old jokes do you know that younger folks wouldn't understand?

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What's the difference between a data storage device and a data transfer device?

One is a hard disk and the other is a hard dick.

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The Floppy Disk is like Jesus.

It died to become the Symbol of saving.

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I had a girlfriend and her favorite Pixar movie was "Up".

This was 2010 and she had it on blue ray, and we would watch it at least once a week at her apartment. But after like the 40th time, I confronted her and said I was tired of watching. The argument got heated; it didn't help that we were drunk. Suddenly, she pushed me and I fell on something. I turned and saw the disk broken; she cried hysterically.
At this moment, I knew, we broke Up...


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Technically speaking, my sex drive is

a hard disk.

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Instead of a floppy disk, the icon for "save" should be...

a crucifix, because Jesus saves.

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Why was the man uncomfortable using his computer?

Because it was disk inserting.

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Why was the floppy disk self-conscious?

Because it was FAT.

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Floppy Disk

[deleted]

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I always carry a floppy disk...

... in case i need to save real life.

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How do we confirm life on another planet?

If you find a rare Pepe drawn the disk.

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They cut the hole in my Fallout disk to small.

I can't fit my dick in it.

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Sexist UFO

A strange disk appeared in the sky. It would hover over groups of women and whistle. Whenever a man would approach it would fly away and hover over another group of women and whistle. The headline in a feminist paper read: Object Defying Women.

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I showed my son a floppy disk today...

...he said: 'oh cool, you 3D-printed a save icon'

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I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk...

He said "Wow... cool! You made a 3D printout of the save icon!"

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I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk..

He said "Wow.. Cool! You 3D printed the save icon!"

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Roman Rollers

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game.

The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor.

They were the first roller coasters.

Back in those days, the disks were made of iron. They would bet on wh


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Geek humor: Thanks for the upgrade...

You turned my floppy disk into a solid state.

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What happens when you turn on a computer?

You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk

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Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon.

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I just bought a movie

One day I got a movie for my kids. When I was putting the disk in, I heard the clinking of glass. I went out and saw she was getting a glass of wine. I asked her why she was doing it, and she said to go look at the DVDs packet and it read,

"G | Go get a glass of wine"

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Why was the old computer sad?

Because it had a floppy disk

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Yo momma's so dense she has an accretion disk

I'm so sorry...

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Software boner.

Why did the computer need Viagra?
Because it had a 3.5 inch floppy disk.

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I was trying to work out what that flying red disk was

But then it hit me

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