Dirty

Jokes

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

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A mother is cleaning the kitchen when her son calls her loudly for help.

- MOM! COME OVER HERE!

The mother replies: "I'm busy, if you need something, then *you* come over here.

The boy goes to the kitchen with his feet all dirty and says: "I stepped on the dog's shit. Where do I clean my feet now?"

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I told my friend to clean the fireplace.

He refused to do any dirty work.

I thought that job sooted him.

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What's the difference between a faggot and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull out the meat

Got this from National Lampoons Dirty Movie :)

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Have you heard the story of the window you couldn't see through?

Well, I can't tell you anyway. It's too dirty.

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My house is haunted...

...I said to my self one day. Furnitures keep moving around. Clothes keep appearing all over the house. The milk is always on the counter. There's always dirty dishes in the sink.

Then I remembered that I have kids.

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Wanna year very very very dirty joke?

A white horse jumped in the mud.

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I told my wife the other night that I wanted her to start talking dirty more for me.

She looked up at me thoughtfully for a moment and then responded.

"Compost."

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Mike Rowe Manager

A mobile game called Mike Rowe Manager where you delegate dirty jobs for a micro Mike Rowe to do under strict scrutiny.



Triple points if he ends up on the set of another TV show

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The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.

I want a divorce straight away!"
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She


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My wife caught me with a sock on my cock. "What are you doing? That's not a foot, you dirty bastard!" she screamed.

"It's damn near 11 inches!" I yelled back.

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Have you ever been through here before?

You dirty double crosser

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"I'll take 'Dirty Jokes' for $600, Alex."

Alex Trebek: "Answer, $20 just like downtown."

(ding)


Contestant: "What is a hand-job?"

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In college, I was in a Ska band called Grandpas Dirty Butt

We exclusively played trombones.

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What's the difference between a lobster with big boobs and a dirty bus stop?

One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station

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I was offered a job in a monastery laundry

I decided not to go through with it, I didn't want to pick up any dirty habits.

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What's the difference between and old dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job?

One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustation

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Visiting my elderly dad ...

Went to visit my elderly dad and as we were getting ready to eat breakfast I noticed the dishes seemed dirty. When I asked him about he replied "That's the best cold water can get them".

Same thing at lunch, dishes were very dirty and my dad just said "best cold water can get 'em".

To avoid eating dinner off of dirty dishes I decided to take


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(dirty Gamer joke) How do you make Link horny?

Replace the L with a K.

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Dirty Riddle with Clean ending

What gets longer when pulled, fits cosy between breasts, slides into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly and works best when jerked?

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A seat belt

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What the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other’s a busty crustacean!

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My friend went on a date with the host of Dirty Jobs

She said it was a fun time, but she couldn't get past the fact that he has a Mike Rowe penis

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What is Uncle Sams favorite dirty song?

Yank Me Noodle

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Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Little Timmy fell in the mud.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
Little Timmy started playing in the mud.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
Little Timmy took a bath.

Wanna hear a cleaner joke?
Little Timmy took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear en even cleaner joke?
Little Timmy took a bath with bubbles while smelling a blossom.


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What does a dirty bus station and a crab with big boobs have in common?

One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean 🦞 (nothing)

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My dad is turning into a dirty, old man.

I can feel it.

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What did the mathematician say to the dirty negative numbers?

I'll stop at nothing to avoid you!

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A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

At the table, he asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story." The


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I got real dirty with this naked, smoking hot blonde at work today.

I was like “Damn it Bob, it looks like we have another arson.”

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Do you wanna hear a clean Joke?

I took a bath with bubbles.

Do you wanna hear a dirty Joke?
Bubbles was a Man.

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Whats the distance between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with big breasts?

One is a crusty bus station and the other one is a busty crustacean

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A father lends out his dirty car to his son...

Next day, the son returns it to his dad. But the car looked particularly clean on the hood, almost if a lady has been lying there. The dad asks his son to next time clean the car, which on the son replies;

"oh mom used it."

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A father lends out his dirty car to his son...

Next day, the son returns it to his dad. But the car looked particularly clean on the hood, almost if a lady has been lying there. The dad asks his son to next time clean the car, which on the son replies;

"oh mom used it."

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Did you know Lil Nas X has a dirty cousin?

His name is Lil Nas T.

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What do you call a load of dirty American flags?

A washington.

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NSFW So I asked my Ex Wife....

If she would suck my dick if I washed it.

She said No

Sounds like she's still a dirty cock sucker

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People say its wrong, but I cant help that I get all hot and bothered by dirty skin and sweaty bodies

I’m sexually attracted to miners

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Someone broke into my house and smeared mud on everything

that's a dirty thing to do

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Whats the difference between a lobster with big boobs and a dirty bus station?

One’s a crusty bus station and the other’s a busty crustacean.

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Whats the best part about gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

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Mama Joke

yo mama so dirty that stray dogs take her in.

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GUIZE lol wanna hear a dirty joke?

I fell in the mud!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OMG SUCH CLASSIC FUNNY COMEDY JOKES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!!1!1!1!1!1!!1!!!1!1!ONE!!11!!1!1!1!!1!!

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Hey guys, wanna hear a dirty joke?

I fell in the mud!

HARDY HARDY HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!

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When I was 12, I lived with my abusive uncle and auntie

We lived on an old farm, no animals just fields.

My uncle goes off to a market and comes back with this filthy ass horse.

Says it's bred from some old bloke's prize stallion.

Auntie loves it for some reason, coz it's all muddy she calls it "Dirty". She was a bit fucked up like that. I, being a countryside kid, liked horses an


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I walked in on my grandfather having a stroke...

Dirty old man watches way too much porn.

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This compressed file contains a dirty joke.

Sigh *unzips*

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Outsourcing is killing this country

I called a sex hotline and got some dude in Mumbai talking dirty to me.

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Whats the difference between a dirty waiting area for public transport and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

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Two very tall men covered in mud stole something from me.

Big dirty pair of knickers.

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Whats similar between a whiteboard and an immigrant?

They are clean when they are white and dirty when they are black.

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