As an American its hard to explain my difficulty in learning the metric system.
My Godson had difficulty remembering to take out the trash.
Until I made him an offer he couldn’t ‘refuse.’ - Godfather
I went up a ladder the other day and my throat started to hurt and I had difficulty swallowing.
It was a strepladder.
A man walks up to a woman in a bar and puts down a lime next to her.
Woman: What’s this?
Man: It’s a lime.
Woman: Would you mind moving it somewhere else?
The man says, “No problem.” But then seems to have real difficulty in lifting it from the table.
Woman: Is everything ok?
Man: It seems like I’m terrible at pick up limes.
Girl walks into the BBC office for an audition
Has difficulty walking back out. In hindsight she should have looked up the different abbreviations.
Watching the womens World Cup match between USA and Thailand reminded me of playing Fifa on beginner difficulty
Now I know how Thailand are feeling
So I recently broke my right wrist and left elbow in a nasty skateboarding accident, its prevented me from doing many everyday things.
Well my mom’s been helping me with a lot, she showers me which is an...experience, well at least it definitely brings the family closer, she brushes my teeth, luckily I can wipe my own ass though with some difficulty, but my mind did something horrible to me today while I was appreciating my mom. My mind went “You can’t wank can ya?”
G.O.A.T yoga really has to vary in difficulty
depending on the sport
What's a dogs favorite ski run difficulty?
A brown diamond
I have difficulty
Speaking about my stammering problem
What do you call a Chinese guy who has difficulty standing?
Level of difficulty:
A blonde is having difficulty figuring out suppositories . . .
I finally found a solution for those amongst us who have had difficulty creating the perfect sunny side up egg.
Try making them, Shia side up, instead.
Are you having difficulty teaching your kids? Raising good children can be a be easy. Read on to see the key to perfect parenting
The key to perfect parenting
Did you know that early gigolos had difficulty finding female customers, until one got the clever idea to offer vouchers of 20 back to anyone who sent him a review?
It's the first known example of a male-in rebate.
A woman is drowning at a nude beach. . .
A woman is drowning at a nude beach but luckily the lifeguard spots her.
He's able to reach her in time and is able to carry her out.
He then starts CPR and I shout for him to begin chest compressions. I shouted that he should start slowly then pick up the pace. After a bit if difficulty, I came to the rescue.
When making the transition from linear to quadratic equations, the difficulty increases...
A dyslexic man went for an eye test
The letters were jumbled and he had difficulty focusing.
I went to see the doctor...
"What's the problem today?" he asked.
I pointed at my throat and with great difficulty said "Viagra stuck"
"Ah, so having a stiff neck"
My neighbor owns his own company, installing custom made swimming pools. Recently his business suffered a burglary, losing a lot of equipment and materials.
They are having difficulty coping with the loss.
I told my brother, "I went to the GPS repair shop for the first time ever."
"How did you find it?" he asked.
I said, "With difficulty."
Life is like a video game
Most of us play on easy difficulty, some on medium, then there is Africa playing on hardcore.
You familiar with ASMR?
It’s when a country boy has difficulty breathing.
Why are dwarves terrible parents?
They have difficulty putting food on the table.
If life were a videogame, what would be the easiest difficulty setting?
Straight White Male
Orgasm Control Seminar
My buddy is holding a seminar at the learning annex for people who have difficulty achieving an orgasm.
If you can't come, it's cool.
Some people have difficulty sleeping
But I can do it with my eyes closed!
I'm starting a support group for men who have difficulty ejaculating
Let us know if you can't come
The hardest difficulty
An Engineering student attended a Medical exam by mistake...
See his answers...
1. Antibody - One who hates his body .
2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings .
3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .
4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .
5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .
6. Genes - Blue Denim.
7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work .
8. Liposuction - A French Kis
We appreciate you are having difficulty sharing assets equitably, but...
Will Smith goes to the doctor complaining of erectile dysfunction...
"Yo doc! I'm having difficulty raising this dick"
"Ahh I see. We need to discuss what's going wrong. Did you bring Jaden with you?"
3 men are ship-wrecked on an island
Where they are captured by cannibals. The cannibal leader says he'll let them live if they go out in the forest and grab 10 of the same fruit.
They all run off, when after a while the first person comes back with 10 apples. The cannibal leader then says, "You must shove them up your ass without any facial expression, and then you will live." The man tries but he winces
As a child I had difficulty putting things down
It's a habit I can't seem to let go.
Called my Doctor, in a panic, serious difficulty "passing" urine.
Turns out, it's just that I drive a shitty mini-van.
HOW TO BEAT YOUR COMPUTER AT CHESS WITHIN 5 SECONDS:
just set the difficulty to OBAMA.It will never come up with a strategy.
What do you get from a frisky, naked old Venetian man who can't get it up and has difficulty walking?
Why would Louis and Clark adore living in todays age?
Because the difficulty in finding the North-West passage significantly declined once we discovered it was Kim Kardashian's vagina.
Yet another pirate joke.
A pirate walks into a bar, but is having difficulty sitting down.
The bartender says, "I notice you have a ship's helm in the front of your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrr, it be drivin' me nuts!"
Joke found in an 1854 newspaper
"My dear Mrs. Jones,'' said Mrs. Brown, "come near to my bedside; I'm dying, and I wish to say a
few words to you."
"Yes Marm," sighed Mrs. Jones.
"Well, Mrs. Jones," ejaculated Mrs. Brown, "you and I have had a good many tiffs in our day, and
now I wish to part with you in peace, can you forgive me?"
Why do people with no arms have difficulty remembering?
Because they can't put their finger on it.
So I was driving by a penitentiary this one time back home, and I saw a group of convicts at the perimeter fence trying to climb over.
The rest were hurrying on this one of them, who appeared to be a midget, and was having some difficulty scaling it.
All of a sudden, the biggest one just picked him up by an arm and a leg and tossed him right up & over!
And as he fell, I thought to myself,"Well, that's a little condescending."
Three men are hiking and find themselves lost in a jungle where they run into a group of cannibals. The cannibals capture the 3 men and tell them they will be released only if they can find 10 of the same fruit.
The three men go separately and the first man comes back with 10 apples. The cannibals tell him that if he can shove all 10 of those apples up his butt they will spare him. The man d