Whats the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

An orphan doesn’t have a home to run to.

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?

One is on the cover of Playboy and the other is on the cover of National Geographic.

Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

Whats the difference between a bidet and Biden?

One washes your ass, the other grabs it.

What's the difference between an untrained sniper and a constipated owl?

One shoots but never hits, the other hoots but never shits.

What's the difference between a puma and a cougar?

One is a milf and the other is a predatory cat

Whats the difference between a raccoon and a lesbian?

One is a snack snatcher, and the other is a snatch snacker.

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

What's the difference between a badminton birdie and 'Netflix amp chill' on a microfiber couch?

One is a shuttlecock, the other's a cuddle shock

What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?

One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!

Whats difference between a Neanderthal and trump?

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A guy wouldn't pay for a lentil on his face.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Greenland?

Greenland's not for sale.

What is the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

What's the difference between an obese rodeo bull, and Dracula's girlfriend?

One's a fat bucker...

Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law?

Outlaws are wanted.

What is the difference between an angry circus owner and a roman barber ?

One is a raving showman, and the other one is a shaving roman.

Whats the difference between Masturbation and Nirvana?

Almost nothing. Both smells like teen spirit

Whats the difference between you and a guy who dresses up in a toga amp wings and shoots arrows at couples on Valentines Day

One’s a Cupid Stunt...

What is the difference between an STD and some place that doesn't exist anymore?

One is gonorrhea, the other is a gone area.

Ill show myself out now

What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with dysentery?

One shucks between fits....

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and Judas Priest?

One of them has a Grammy...

What's the difference between me and Jenny McCarthy?

When I mislead gullible mothers, their kids don't end up dead.

What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

A rook only moves in straight lines, but a bishop has sex with children.

Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

One goes “cockle-doodle-doo” and one goes “any-cock-will-do”

What's the difference between a C-SPAN cameraman and a pornography cameraman?

The porno cameraman sees fewer ass holes on a daily basis.

What do people in Alabama call their in-laws?

The same thing as their blood relatives, after all there is no difference.

What's the difference between a bastard and an orphan?

A mom!

What's the difference between a French kiss and a Belgian kiss?

...Belgian kisses have more phlegm

Whats the difference between a newborn orphan and Batman?

The newborn orphan didn’t have to go down a dark alley to become one.

What's the difference between an out of tune banjo and one that is in tune?

Nothing

The simple difference between programming and terror is

that programmers need to excel at whiteboarding to get an access to the employers Github.
Terrorists get to Gitmo regardless of their waterboarding skills.

What's the difference between a daredevil and a set of showgirls?

Well, one of them as a set of cunning stunts..

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(this wasn't my joke, just thought it was funny)

What's the difference between a faggot and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull out the meat

Got this from National Lampoons Dirty Movie :)

What's the difference between Like, Love, and Showing Off?

Spit, Swallow, and Gargle.

What's the difference between a rich man and a poor man?

A rich man has a canopy over his bed; a poor man has a can o' pee under his bed.

Whats the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with dysentery?

You shuck the oyster between fits...

A flaccid penis is like beta gameplay - not representative of the final product...

...but more often than not the difference won't shock you.

What's the difference between a guitar and a banjo?

A guitar can get you laid, whereas a banjo can get you laid with your sister.

Difference Between Doge and HuuMann

do you ever wonder why dogs smells more than humans

cause dogs have four armpit

What's the difference between Uranus and your butt?

One is huge, round and surround by a cloud of smelly methane gas. The other one's a planet.

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck??

Texans ride bulls while rednecks ride relatives.

What's the difference between a democratic system and a feudal system?

In one your vote counts, in the other, your count votes.

The difference between a seesaw and a catapult?

An overweight friend.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one.

Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player?

A canoe sometimes tips!

What's the difference between a 6 month old and a 20 year old?

About 6 garbage bags and 30 gallons of formaldehyde.

Whats the Difference between a baby and a Maraca?

A baby stops making noise after you shake it

What's the difference between Ann Coulter and shooting arrows at lovers?

Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger ?

little kids won't eat broccoli .