Determination

Jokes

When I was younger I wanted to play the guitar really badly

Now after years of hard work, practice, and determination, I can play the guitar really badly

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Being unable to will myself over a bout of strep, I realize there's a limit to the force of determination.

I suppose it's good to have Amoxicillin.

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Jason Voorhees: Celebrity Pet Psychologist

The Grim, Single-Minded Machete-Wielding Determination to End Your Pet’s Behavioral Problems.

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A football recruiting coach begins training his successor.

Coach: “If you see a player get knocked down, and he gets back up, should you try to recruit him?”

Newbie: “Absolutely, he is a real talent.”

Coach: “No, that’s too easy. What about if he gets knocked down twice and gets up twice. ”

Newbie: “Clearly this player has shown determination and we could use him on our


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Interviewer: What is your greatest strength?

Me: I'm very determined.

Interviewer: Determination is a great strength to have in our company. We'll call you when we make our decision.

Me: Great! I'll just wait here then.

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Determination. Precision. Focus. Accuracy.

All attributes I have while shaving my pubes that I should really put into other aspects of my life.

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What the definition of determination?

A ant crawling up an elephant’s leg with rape on his mind.....

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Nice job Elon, it took decades of hard work and determination but you actually launched that car into space. Well done you! Two words though

decoy snail

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Did you hear the one about the baker who dominated the pastry competition through determination and superior sugar content?

He went in all buns glazing.

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Why did the fallen child cross the road?

Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.

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I just read a letter from my future self detailing what cheeses I'm going to eat over the next thirty years and whether I'll like them. But what if I only like them because the letter says I should?

It's your classic Brie Determination Paradox.

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How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb?

None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself.

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My Boss just bought an Apple Watch.

My boss bought the new Apple Watch and checked his mails on it while I was walking by him. I congratulated him to his newest purchase. He said: "Well, if you work hard, set yourself goals, do overtime and work with determination, I will be able to buy an Apple Watch Edition next year."

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A plane is going to crash...

The passengers on board know they only have a few minutes left to live and one woman stands up from her chair and calls out to everyone. "We're all going to die...but before we do, is there anyone on board who can make me feel like a woman?"
A young handsome man rises up from his seat with a look of strong determination and nods with certainty. "Of course, I can!" An


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