Destroy

Jokes

I'd never want to fly on a plane with Ben Shapiro

He would destroy the left wing within seconds.

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The Year Is 2159, And The Sex Robots Have Taken Over

The one thing we need to destroy, that controls the sexbots, is SkyNut.

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Every morning I destroy 2-3 bowls of Lucky Charms

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A luchador, after helping a group of friends says....

"I bid you adios amigos!"

Paladin: so soon?"

Luchador: "Si. I am quest to destroy my fallen brother, corrupted by the diabolical and reborn undead. He is called... El Lichador!

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It was foreseeable that Jeff Bezos would destroy his marriage

After all, marriage is a sort of union.

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I feel like Reddit is gonna destroy the world.

Karmageddon is approaching.

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I'm about to verbally DESTROY your favorite Winnie the Pooh character!!

*Tigger warning*

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Its odd that the Anti-Christ doesnt have an actual name, hes just called by what he seeks to destroy.

But you wouldn’t call Stalin the Anti-Hitler or Chris Brown the Anti-Rihanna.

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I saw a tree move and destroy a car

It seems they use Groot force.

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Why did Drogon destroy the Iron Throne?

It was pointless.

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When is the worst time for Ben Shapiro to destroy the left wing?

When he’s on the airplane

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Communism is like fire OC

It looks great on paper, but let it run wild and it’ll destroy everything

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How many planets are there?

7 after I destroy Uranus.

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How many piles of yeast does it take to destroy a tower?

9 leven

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Gondor the Democrats and Rohan the Republicans

Gondor

Soldier: Gandalf!!! Gandalf!!

Gandalf: What is it?

Soldier : The army of Mordor is at our gates!!!

Gandalf : Let them in, they bring cultural enrichment and diversity.



Rohan

Aragorn: The beacons are lit!!!! The beacons of Amun din are lit. Gondor calls for aid!!

Theoden: Send word t


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About an inch

The UN is in session and the three major superpowers, the US, Russia, and China are trying to out do each other's achievements.

The US says "we have a missile that could reach any point on Earth with amazing precision and destroy it."

Everyone else starts chattering in disbelief and the UN moderator finally questions the statement. Under pressure the US sa


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Are you ready to have only 7 planets left?

Because im about to destroy Uranus.

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If Hitler was alive, what planet would he destroy?

Jew-Peter.

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Women love a man brimming with confidence.

Because without that, what else is there to destroy?

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A US general is chatting with his son,

about the world, about politics and about war, and the conversation drifts round to nuclear weapons, and how they are so powerful they could destroy whole countries. The little boys eyes widen "They can destroy whole countries?"
"Sure can son, which is why we have to keep control of them"
"How many would it need to destroy a country"
"Well, th


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The Avengers and Deadpool....

For once, the Avengers and the Deadpool decide to team up and destroy a H.Y.D.R.A. base.

While trying to infiltrate the base they encounter a room, which leads them to a vault containing some files. Deadpool says he is the strongest, so he shall break all walls. Thor days his lightning can destroy all the four within no time. They keep arguing back and forth. So They decide to break


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If my health takes a sudden turn for the worse, what will be the first thing I say on my deathbed?

Destroy my phone.

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Did you know there will only be 7 planets tomorrow?

Because *I'm going* to *destroy* Uranus

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What do depression and ISIS have in common?

They're both terrorist cells which are very hard to pin down, very hard to get rid of and they keep trying to destroy your home from the inside - while you're still in it.

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It can take years to build a great relationship but only seconds to destroy it with the wrong words.

e.g. "Sarah, I'm gay"

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Tom Brady has 6 rings...

... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap

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9 Year Olds VS T series

9 year olds: WE WILL GO TO INDIA AND DESTROY T SERIES HEADQUARTERS *CHEERS*

2 hours later, they’re at the boarding stage.

Guard: Excuse me little guys, do you have a passport to go to India?

9 year olds: NEVER MIND!!!!!

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What does my dad and taco bell have in common

They both destroy my asshole

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What do The Lord of the Rings and Brokeback Mountain have in common?

They're both movies about going to a mountain to destroy someone's ring.

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Me: How many planets are there in the solar system?

Girl: 8
Me: It'll be 7 after I destroy Uranus

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There will only be four planets

Once I destroy Uranus

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If Donald builds his fence using horizontal metal slats. . .

He will destroy the ladder industry in Mexico.

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What would Ben shapiro do if he had to stop 911?

He would destroy the left wing.

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How many Kings does it take to viciously destroy a room full of lightbulbs ?

Vi Kings

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A blonde buys a new convertible ...

*(I'm translating this from a foreign language so please bear with me, hopefully it's unique on* r/Jokes*)*

​

...then she takes it for a spin on the interstate. Then comes a near miss with a truck. The lorry driver catches up to her, overtakes her and proceeds to force her to stop her car on the side of the road. He gets off his truck and goes : <


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If you drink 2 glasses of Kale juice daily, it will destroy your belly fat and

Your desire to live too.

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How do you destroy one of the many materialistic, boring and vapid white girl bots?

Put her in a room with another one.

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The Sun looked down at me, smiled and said, Good morning. Want some light? I exclaimed, What a beautiful day! Thanks Sun!" The Sun chuckled, Heres some heat as well." Sweating, I groaned, Wow, it's getting hot now." Menacingly, the Sun roared...

“It’s going to get hot when I expand and destroy your planet in a few billion years!"

I shot back, “Not if we destroy it first!"

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Which type of card can destroy the world?

A Trump.

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Destroy Dick December has begun...

Now... Everyone! Man your battle ships! We're gonna hunt down Moby &amp; make millions from his corpse!

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Since it's Destroy Dick December,

we're gonna have a really white christmas.

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How to destroy the society

Play rap/hip hop on all the radio and tv channels

Mix it up with pawn shop and bail bond commercials

Add some payday loan and divorce lawyers ads to that shit mix...

See what happens!

I mean happened in black hoods.

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To the person who hacked my reddit account

I will find and destroy you

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Click here

There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus.

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I can't wait for Destroy Dick December

Seasons beatings

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What does the Democratic Party and a condom have in common?

Both allow for inflation, halt production, destroy the next generation, protect a bunch of dicks, and give you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

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Moon to Earth during periapsis

\- Hey Earth! Do you know how to destroy a star?

\- Well... you need... like a black hole to do that.

\- Nope! All you need is to accuse it of rape!

\#MeToo

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Did you know that when you the sperm originally enters the vagina the female immune system tries to destroy it? But later on it helps it get to the egg....

This is the just another example of a woman not being able to make up her mind

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North Korea invented a weapon that can destroy atoms.

It's a weapon of MASS destruction.

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How do you destroy the great China wall?

You put some paper on it

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