Deprived

Jokes

If I don't hear about a new law, a new tax, a new bylaw, a new restriction on doing things, new guidelines, or new protocols by noon every day...

...I feel deprived that I'm missing something and the day just doesn't seem quite right, somehow.

So I go ahead and make up one of my own!

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I remember like a year ago I was so deprived of any romantic solitude and I always questioned how girls developed crushes on men without them being overtly attractive.

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Sleep deprived and thought of joke

So as I said I am sleep deprived and im wondering if this is a good joke I just made up.

Joke:

There are three different reactions to when you say Guinea

Guy 1 will be offended as he is Italian
Guy 2 is wondering how you know what part of africa he is from
and Guy 3 asked why you left out pig

Guy 1 is mad cause he was called fat


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I asked my sleep deprived friend how he did on his exam

Me: Hey! How did it go on your exam?

Friend: It was a piece of shit!

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The next day after my sleep deprived friend took his exam

Me: How did the exam go?

Friend: It was a piece of shit.

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Why do famous actors, singers,... only date sugar-deprived hotties?

Because after having sex, they gonna get a starburst

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How to tell if you are sleep deprived?

When you plugged in ear piece for a good 5 minutes and realised your music player weren't playing any music

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Call me a subway because...

I belonged to the state of New York while being neglected and deprived of necessities

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My parents never served milk as a kid.

I was deprived of my child Hood.

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Back in the day... my grandfather started to say. You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well.

“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are armed guards made up of south American children stripped from their families brainwashed with murals of Donald trump and deprived life, liberty, and or the pursuit of happiness...”

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Sleep-deprived women are much more attractive in my eyes.

They put up less of a chase.

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Do you know the difference between a prostitute and a 9yo girl?

...


No?



YOU DEPRIVED MONSTER.

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I'm sleep deprived.

Hi Sleep Deprived, I'm Tired.

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Everything get's funnier when you're sleep deprived.

The laughing creeps out the kidnappers though.

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What do you call a one-eyed pirate?

Patches.

This was hilarious sleep-deprived

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What does a sleep-deprived person eat for breakfast?

Coma-toast!

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A Chinese man dies and leaves behind his wife...

She absolutely refuses to accept his death and travels far and wide to find someone who can bring him back from the dead.

Finally she finds someone who can do it and his lifeless body is once again living and breathing. She says "Honey I couldn't let you go."


He sighs deeply and says "Unbereaveable."

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Village Atheist

In a small village in the middle of the countryside, there is only one atheist. He sells insurance for a living. But, he grows old and one day gets really sick. On his death bed, he calls for the village priest, who is obviously a very devout catholic.

They talk for an entire day, and during the whole night too. The priest tries very hard to convert the atheist. Nobody is allowed in t


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A man is stranded in a desert...

...for several days with his camel. He is tired and he has almost given up all hope. He is also sexually deprived and wants to fuck someone. He decides to have sex with his camel.

So he mounts and gets into position. But the camel shakes him off and runs away. The tired man runs and catches up with it. He decides to try again later.

After several hours, he does it again


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