Dense

Jokes

Nobody should be hated this much

Spread the hate

Spread it out so it's less dense and nothing gets hated this much.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Rest in peace, dense water vapour.

You will be mist.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Tyrion Lannister was unusually smart

Usually, white dwarfs are very dense.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Scientists predict that the racists of this world may well form a black hole in the distant future.

Because they are so dense.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Little Red Riding Hood sets out to go visit her grandmother, who lives in another village

As she's walking on the forest road, she sees the big, bad wolf hiding behind a shrub. She stops and says:

\-My, what big red eyes you have!

The wolf looks at her and leaves without saying a word, dissapearing in the dense forest. Little red riding hood continues walking on the same forest road, and after some time she sees the same wolf, this time hiding behind a b


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Cyanide must be so calorie dense

One vial and you don't need to eat again for the rest of your life

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A blackhole walks into a bar.

Bartender: What’ll it be?

Blackhole: id like my shoes shined

Bartender:are you dense or something?

Blackhole:yes actually

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Your maternal unit is so large and dense

She has a black hole

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Your momma is so dense...

...the only reason your dad hasn't left is because he can't reach escape velocity

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: “ And then I said, Barium!”

Osmium walks into the room.

“What’s so funny guys?”

Carbon whispers to Helium: “Don’t tell him. He’s too dense to get it.”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Someone asked me why i was so dense.

Pretty sure its because of how we evolved to adapt to Earth's high gravity.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My brother keeps drowning despite my numerous attempts to teach him to stay afloat.

What a dense child.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two black holes are jogging in space.

One says "You should slim down to get more attractive."

"Are you dense?" replies the other.

​

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mama so dense

she has an event horizon.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My teacher says Im a time waster and too dense.

I told her I absorb everything but the information just gets lost.

She didn’t believe me and is now forever circling.

Sucks being a black hole...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the pothead seem so smart?

Because all of his buds were so dense...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I heard semen is very nutritionally dense.

That is some real food for thot.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I wanted to organise a party on venus but the atmosphere was too dense

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Travelling through the deepest darkest jungles of Africa with my man servant Jeeves ....

We broke through the dense undergrowth into a small clearing. There were eggs everywhere. I turned to Jeeves and said "This is obviously the work of poachers"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me..

When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.

Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, “good eye mike!”

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Most creatures on earth are carbon based, but you might be made of Einsteinium

You dense motherfucker.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A mathematician was stopped in San Francisco by a cop for speeding.

The cop says, “Ma’am, you were going 25. But the speed limit in a dense neighborhood is 15 mph in California.”

“I’m sorry, Officer,” she says, “but you’re wrong. This isn’t a dense neighborhood.”

He looks around at the three-story Victorians crammed against each other and laughs. “It isn’t? Well, the


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mama's so dense...

Yo mama's so dense the only reason people think she's bright is because she hit critical mass and now she burns the eyes out of anyone who looks at her... Sick burn.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You know what my favorite part about Summer is?

The dense clouds and 50 degree weather (just curious if anyone else feels my pain rn).

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Fingered my GF NSFW

Roses are red
this poem makes no sense
I fingered my girlfriend
Her forest was so dense

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A Red Dwarf star, a Main Sequence star, and a neutron star are all hanging out and telling stories.

The Red Dwarf decides to share a joke. He says, "What’s a light-year?"

"It's the same as a regular year, but with less calories!" All three burst into laughter.

After a few minutes the neutron star confesses that he didn't get the joke. Both the Main Sequence star and the Red Dwarf turn to him with confused looks. Finally the Red Dwarf


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call an Italian-dense bad neighborhood?

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo momma's so dense, she got a job at NASA...

..bending light.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife kept insisting I have ADD

So she brought home a book from the library on adult ADD. A few days later when I'd finished she asked if it showed me that I had ADD.

"I JUST READ AN ENTIRE BOOK ON FUCKING ADD, YOU DENSE WENCH, SO I'M GOING TO GO WITH NO."

Not a joke. A true story.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I like my women like my coffee..

White and dense.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Hey girl, are you the big bang?

Cause you're pretty hot, but very dense

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I explained to my friend that he shouldn't be afraid of drowning in the sea because of Archimedes principle.

But he was too dense.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole...

...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Damn girl, are you a planet?

Because you're so dense you have an event horizon.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

It was in eight grade I realized I was more attracted to big, dense girls.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I just came up with the BEST joke for Trump

Trump is like gold.

Incredibly dense, but somehow worth something.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

(Anime joke) What car does Orimura Ichika drive?

A Mercedes Dense.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you and a black hole have in common?

You're both dense motherfuckers.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

RIP Dense Water Vapour.

You will be mist ;(

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So Recep Tayyip Erdoan says to Michelle Bachelet, "Do you want to get together and make some dinner?"

For you dense fuckers, this joke is playing on Turkey and Chile's presidents.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo momma's so dense she has an accretion disk

I'm so sorry...

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

It's surprising how small the universe was.

The whole universe, according to the The Big Bang Theory intro, used to be in a hot dense state. Does anyone else find it incredible that the entire universe used to fit in Texas?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Pedophile and a young boy go for a walk in the woods...

After they had been walking for a few hours, the sun begins to set and the woods are getting dense. The little boy says, "Gee Mister, it's getting pretty scary out here."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared?...I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

R.I.P Dense Water Vapour.

You will always be mist.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE