Demonstrate

Jokes

How does One Country, Two Systems uphold democracy?

HK protesters: Pay attention, we can only demonstrate for once.

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Guy goes to a prostitute and asks what she can do.

She asks him how much money does he have?

The guy says, "Only $10."

The prostitute says, "For $10, I can give you a penguin."

The guy figures this is new lingo, so he pays her the money. In an alleyway, she pulls down his pants and starts blowing him. Just as he tells her he is about to cum, she gets up and walks away. The guy waddles afte


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How does the Autocorrect of an Alabama man word it when the man wants to demonstrate his happiness about something?

Fucking Niece

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Have you ever met someone who was unimpressed by a miracle?

After Jesus turned the water into wine, many guests, being unimpressed, proceeded to demonstrate their own abilities and turned the wine back into water.

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I applied for a job as a carpenter the other day.

I had to demonstrate my skill with a piece of wood.
I nailed it.

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A carpenter and a professor run into each other...

Two old friends, a carpenter and a professor, run into each other. They chitchat a bit and they starting to talk about work.

Professor: "So, what are you working with nowadays?".

Carpenter: "I'm a carpenter. And you?"

Professor: "I'm a professor.

Carpenter: "In what field?"

Professor: &


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Today in sex Ed class the teacher used a banana to demonstrate how to put on a condom.

It was disturbing to see a grown man put a banana peel on his dick

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All abortion clinics should be banned as soon as possible..!

The all doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic...& so on..!

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A very well dressed man walks into a bar. Two friends chatting in the cornor notice him and discuss what he does for living.

One of men decide to go up to him and ask. Hello, my friend and I were discussing what you do for a living, would you mind telling me?
Why yes replied the well dressed man I am a doctor of logic. What's that? Well let me Demonstrate. The Dr of logic asked the man, Do you have goldfish? Yes replied the man I do. How many do you have? I have about a dozen. OK replied the well dressed man


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My dad's favourite joke. Mine too.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man h


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Three Nuns

Three Nuns die in a car crash, and find themselves at the pearly gates.

St. Peter stops them, stating "Ladies, I appreciate your position, but there's a new policy in place from upstairs. To enter unto Heaven, you must demonstrate some knowledge of The Bible."

He asks the first Nun. "Who was the first man?"

"Oh! Adam, of course!&


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In honor of the Democratic presidential candidate debate last night ...

... SpaceX decided to demonstrate that they too are feeling the bern.

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Science vs. God

In the not too distant future, a very arrogant scientist meets with God. And the scientist tells God, “You aren’t so great. I figured out how to create life too.” God replies, “Oh, really? You can take soil and make a human?” “Yes.” says the scientist, “I can extract all the necessary components, and combine them through various techniques into a zyg


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One of the Funniest Jokes I've Heard

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth. A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.
The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he s


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US Mexicans who support Donald Trump

Clearly demonstrate appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico.
---

^And ^come ^back.

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US Mexicans who support Donald Trump

Clearly demonstrate the appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico.

EDIT: Wow! thanks for the gold.

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Diminishing Return Joke (request)

Salesman: Lady, this vacuum cleaner will cut your house cleaning time in half.

Woman: Great, Gimme two of 'em!

*Does anyone know of any other jokes that demonstrate the Law of Diminishing returns? Its for a project I'm working on...

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Multiple-choice test results

I got a 11 out of 200 in a multiple choice test and the teacher was fuming with anger.

To demonstrate how bad I did he took out an empty answer sheet, put a shoe mark on it and fed it into the marking machine.

The result is 18 out of 200...

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Kiss The Mirror

A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them t


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My friend's "gong clock"

My friend called me to his house one evening for a catchup. We spent a few hours talking and it was getting late so I decided to leave. "Wait! I haven't shown you my gong clock! He took me upstairs where he had this massive gong close to the back wall. He said "like it?!" I replied "umm.. How does it work? Doesn't it just make a noise?" "Haha not just mak


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The Jewish Samurai

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.

A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.

The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstr


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Veterinarian 101

It was the first day of lab work at the veterinarian college and as the students filed in they saw their professor standing next to a large exam table with a sheet draped over it.

The professor began the class by pulling off the sheet in dramatic fashion to reveal a dead cow. "Students, before we begin this class I want you all to know that you are required to follow 2 basic r


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Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himsel


read more
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My dad's favourite joke. Mine too.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man


read more
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DOWNVOTE

Way back in the time of the samurai

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.

A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate wh


read more
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