Defective

Jokes

I was going to make a joke about a defective bomb.

But it probably won't blow up.

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Did you know Tampax gives away slightly defective tampons for free?

No strings attached.

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They should make a movie about a Pikachu that's incapable of using electricity.

"Defective Pikachu"

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What would Detective Pikachu be called if it was released by Paramount Pictures?

Defective Pikachu

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Defective Turtle

A little boy walks into a pet store carrying a turtle. He goes up to the guy at the counter and says "Meester... I bought this turtle here yesterday but he's defective". The man looks down at the kid and asks "Defective? What's the matter with him?". The boy responds, "He's got bleesters on he's feet" and hands the turtle over. The man turns the tu


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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch...

It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a hi


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What do you call a broken police officer?

Defective

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What do you call a defective dishwasher?

A feminist

(I do not mean offence, it is just a joke)

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What section would a defective cabinet look for in a library?

Shelf help

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I got one of those digital assistant things for Christmas, but I think it's defective

It refuses to open the pod bay doors.

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I thought I'd invented a new type of soap, but it was defective.

I guess I'll need a new solution.

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An infamous sleuth gets half of his deduction wrong.

He was a Defective.

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My buddy said I shouldnt get mad because my can of WD-40 has a defective nozzle

...but I told him, “This stuff is indispensable!”

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I bought a defective pack of playing cards. It had only three suits and all the cards were jacks.

I'm still trying to get a refund from those heartless bastards.

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What do you call a Chinese Transformer?

defective

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I recently bought a new clock...

It keeps running around everywhere and meowing at random.

It must be defective because it broke after 1 week.

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My grandfather was in a defective submarine during WWII

Instead of a periscope they had a kaleidoscope. One day he looks out and says“ my god we’re surrounded”

My favorite joke of all time courtesy of Stephen Wright

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I'm the leader of a group of shoddy private investigators.

I'm a directive defective detective.

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I ordered a pair of sneakers from an online shopping site and found it to be defective.

Is that an e-shoe?

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My irony detector is defective.

It detects everything except irony.

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Did you hear about the comedian who gave an old lady a defective piece of cooking equipment?

He's known for his deadpan delivery.

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Defective Condoms

usband: Why are the defective condoms lying on the sofa..??

Wife: What..???

Where..??

Wife goes to find them and comes back angrily saying:

‘I will kill you, if u dont stop calling our children – Defective Condoms’

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Two blondes working on a construction site...

Two blondes were working on a construction site. One of them who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over her shoulder or nail it into the siding.

The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail


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The Defective Parrot.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot ?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!'


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Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet?

In bent-toe boxes.

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What do you call a Private Investigator who is bad at his job?

A Defective!

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Hearing people talk about how amazing dads are and how their dad would do anything for them has always made me feel weird.

I must have received a defective model.

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I'm turning to Reddit to help crowdsource an OC joke about defective condoms

but it's all been a bust. You pricks keep poking holes in it.

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Women are like hot tubs...

Tingly getting in but stay too long and you're at risk for brain damage and all your sperm are defective.

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An American factory orders a shipment of a certain part from a Japanese factory.

They write a letter to warn their partners "Be aware of our strict standards, we only accept 3 defective parts per 10 000".

The Japanese reply: "We don't quite understand what do you need them for, but as per request, we manufactured three defective parts and attach them separately hereby"


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Defective parrot...

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot replies, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"WOW!" the guy exclaims. "You actually understood and answered me!"

&quo


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Did you hear about the new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie?

No? It takes place in Japan near the Toyota Headquarters. He must save Toyota from poor builds, quality assurance and defective vehicles.

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in... 'Toyota Recall'

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OC Hey, Reddit. Wanna hear a joke about a defective condom?

Actually, never mind. You pricks would probably just poke holes in it.

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A guy is browsing in a pet shop......

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got ever


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What does a statistician call a defective butter substitute?

A margarine of error!

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A blonde and her friend...

Are recently hired putting up siding on a house. They're working on opposite sides so the first one goes to check on the second. She watches as she pulls a nail from her bag, lookas at it, and throws it away. She hollers up and asks what that was about. The second blonde says some of the nails are defective. The point is facing the wrong way so she throws those out. The first blonde says, &qu


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Why were the workers at the denim factory euthanized?

So they wouldn't spread their defective jeans!

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The Defective Parrot (Long...)

Got this from another chain letter, actually made me chuckle...

>
The Defective Parrot.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this


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