Decline

Jokes

"If you were offered $50K for free but to accept the offer, the person you hate the most will receive $100K, would you do it?"

"Sure I would. Why would I decline $150K?"

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A charity worker stopped me and asked me if I wanted to participate in a marathon.

I was about to decline but then he told me it was for disabled kids.

I thought, “why not? I’ll probably win this.”

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There's a decline in exit sign use.

Experts are saying they are on the way out.

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Unfortunately I had to decline an invitation to the Paralympics

I’m lack-toes intolerant

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The Marathon

A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon.

I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.

I thought, why not, I might win this

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A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon.

I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.


I thought, fuck me, I might win this

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Japanese population decline

Erection day is once every four years

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A patient walks into his doctor's office and sees that his doctor is really down in the dumps.

The patient says to the doctor, "Hey Doc, what's the matter?"

The doctor looks up at the patient and says, "It's all going downhill, man. I'm getting less and less appointment bookings every day. "

The patient replied, "That's terrible! Do you know why?"

The doctor sighs, "We're not sure what's


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How do you figure out the difference between true north versus magnetic north?

I decline to answer.

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My friend asked me to pet his baby goat. I had to decline.

I'm not going to jail for touching a kid.

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Here's a collection of the bestworst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands? Because they're exti


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Fathers Day gift

My husband asks if I’m ready to give him his Father’s Day blow job. I decline and remind him that hes not MY father!

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A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon. I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.

I thought, fuck me, I might win this.

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The other day I got offered a threesome

I had to decline, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents

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I was offered $5,000 to sell my account to an advertisement firm

It was a tempting offer, but in the end I had to decline. My morals are strong and intentions are good, just like the wonderful people at Nestle.

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An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didnt have that kind of money on hand.

Needless to say his wages were garnished

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My mental health is like bitcoin

Looks like it’s on the decline, but could make a come back.

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Two whores

Two prostitutes Crystal and Amy are looking for perfume so they head to Macy's and ask the nice classy woman behind the counter for help, knowing that the two women are ladies of the night she shows them a cheap bottle to which the two girls decline then the nice woman shows them a bottle called "come to me" which she thinks would attract more business for them, crystal picks it up


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Two whores

Two prostitutes Crystal and Amy are looking for perfume so they head to Macy's and ask the nice classy woman behind the counter for help, knowing that the two women are ladies of the night she shows them a cheap bottle to which the two girls decline then the nice woman shows them a bottle called "come to me" which she thinks would attract more business for them, crystal picks it up


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Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

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On the upside the new Rocky movie was really good. On the downside I predict a precipitous decline in U.S. Russian relations over the next two sequels.

[deleted]

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I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...

..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.

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English, Swedish, German and Finnish decline "dog"

I found this story with googleing. I’ll hope you like it :) The story itself locates here: http://linustechtips.com/main/topic/72936-english-swedish-german-and-finnish-decline-dog/

So my Swedish teacher showed the class this conversation from the internet. Apparently it demonstrates how easy it is to learn Swedish. I’m Finnish. :)



English: A dog


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With the decline of newspapers worldwide, staff in-house have been referring to the obituaries

as the Subscriber Countdown

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So my girlfriend caught me having sex with her mother.

Funny thing was that she didn't even decline my advances.

However it was kinda awkward when the doctor came in and asked if we wanted to continue her life support.

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Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

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Stock Market Report

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.

Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.

Th


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OC rewrite Child "modeling" sites are on the decline. Experts say that now the most worrisome thing about the current state of pedophilia is...

all the Lostprophets.

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Moral decline of the modern world

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.

"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"

"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

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Half full, Half empty.

Now you might think that the glass is half full, and you might think that the glass is half empty, but engineers know that the glass is actually two times larger than it needs to be.

Politicians, on the other hand, have assured me that the glass would be more empty if the opposition were in charge,

While surrealists think that the glass is half of a slowly rotting lemon.<


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