Deal

Jokes

She: Babe, a tiny penis isn't such a big deal

He: i dont know Jenny, i kinda wished you didnt have one at all.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What is the hardest thing about living forever?

Having to deal with infinite waves of feminism

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Mr. Trump, Hurricane Florence is causing trouble...

Trump responds: Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

NSFW - A Thai girl

Got a dick so hard from behind that she hit the floor with her face down and got some teeth wrecked.

Man: Oh gosh im sorry i will compensate this.

Girl: Big deal it was my milk teeth anyways.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How do you deal with a hairy back?

I usually just pretend she's wearing a wool sweater and close my eyes

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Two old friends are playing golf one morning

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why is losing the amazon not a big deal?

Because we still have eBay

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How many shitty obnoxious youtubers does it take to change a lightbulb?

You won't find out, at least in the next 10 minutes ald 5 seconds but who cares when there's such a SICK DEAL at dollar shave club? Now SUBSCRIBE AND SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A warehouse fire is no big deal

When the Brazilian army reaches our border to put out the Amazon fires, will DHS let them into our country?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

(NSFW) Firing the hole

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

There's one thing I absolutely cannot deal with

and it's an incomplete deck of cards. Seriously Jeff, how do you expect we play poker with only two sevens?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the Mexican slave trade?

Wasn't a big deal at all.

'Til they offered buy Juan, get Juan free.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Danish government should sell Greenland to Trump

By the time the deal closes, he'll have enough Greenland for a drink

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

In 1868, Japan moved its seat of government and the location of its Emperor's home from Kyoto to Tokyo.

It wasn't a big deal. They merely did some rearrangement and changed the capital.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the deal with dihydrogen monoxide?

It's a dangerous chemical.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If you take a girl in a date to the humane society and adopt a dog to impress her, it's a win win situation because even if it doesn't work out you can always therapeutically deal with the sense of rejection afterwards by taking the dog back and having it put down

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A depressed doctor

A doctor was heavily depressed, he heard 2 voices in his head constantly

the first voice was nice and tried to help him, it said things like "so what if you had sex with your patient", "it is not the end of the world for you", "lot of doctors have done that, it is not a big deal it happens constantly"

the second voice was not that nice and he


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the deal with illegal immigrants?

There are Juan too many of them.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

It makes me feel good

A man named Peter Venkman had recently become addicted to masturbation, and decided to get some help. When the therapist asked him why he turned to masturbation to deal with stress, he replied 'Busting makes me feel good!'

I really hope this isn't a repost.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler.

He lost the case.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Four students are on a road trip

They completely forget about their test, and they haven't studied at all whatsoever. They ask to make a deal with the professor, and come up with an excuse for not revising.

They would say that their car was extremely muddy and a tyre had a puncture and they couldn't change it, and could not go up the hill on its own so they had to push it up the hill, getting muddy in the p


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Welcome to deal or no deal

BREXIT

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Im not sure why people think my breath smells.

I mean, I brush my teeth every 3 days, not sure what the deal is.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Never challenge the death to a pillow fight.

Unless your ready to deal with the reaper cushions.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Not a big deal!

Old prisoner: why are you here?
New prisoner: I left my wife...
Old prisoner: that's not a big deal !
New prisoner:... down from the 7th floor

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did god create vaginal mycosis?

So women would deal with irritated cunt as well

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do porn stars and people managing multiple projects have in common?

They both deal with a lot of balls in the air

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Those girls in R Kellys tapes sure got the raw end of the deal

No porn intended

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My three year old wouldnt stop whining and I couldnt deal with it any more.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

People are all worried about the bad things that will come with face recognition...

And here I am in my moms basement wondering what the big deal is

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife hates it when our next door neighbour sunbathes topless in her yard.

I think it's not a big deal as long as he doesn't go full commando.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yesterday I got 3 IPhone Xs, two MacBooks and a pair of earpods all for $5

I got a great deal on that crowbar.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why was Mario a plumber?

Because of all the shit he had to deal with from Peach

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My new girlfriend told me that having a tiny penis isn't such a big deal

But I dunno... I kinda wish she didn't have one at all.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Everyone keeps making fun of me because I dont know what the word apocalypse means

Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How are sex and air similar?

Neither are that big of a deal, until you aren't gettin' any.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

NSFW A sex worker was having a special sale.

50% off, what a deal on such an exquisite beauty!

This however attracted some gross people that tend to hunt out cheap whores.

One client wanted to do everything he could dream of to her and picked her up.

His driving was sub par, nearly crashing in several areas. Then when it was time for the good stuff, he was abusive and really rough with her leaving bruis


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Does anyone else love a good deal? Save $200 on an Iphone Xs or Galaxy S10 . Terms apply.

Let's be honest, you'd much rather click on this link than the Google Pixel Ad.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I sat next to this guy on a bus and he compared me to hitler.

Dude all i asked for was some elbow room to stretch out. And then the aisle... and then the whole bus. Whats the big deal?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

When I made an omelet this morning, my pan broke.

It's not a big deal, just wanted to let you guys know that I have a dead pan now.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why do Jews like circumcision?

Jews can’t resist a 20% off deal

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Everyone makes a big deal about all the work mothers put into childbirth...

But no one mentions that for the baby, it's a crowning achievement!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Jerry Seinfeld's tombstone should read ...

"What's the deal with death?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I played the drums once, but I swore never to do it again.

I didn't want to deal with repercussions.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

OC science joke

There was a young man who was fed up with all the bias in news networks everywhere and vowed to make his own set of news channels that would be void of any and all bias. As he was not a wealthy man he had to find ways cut costs in making his network. He managed to make an odd deal with all his suppliers which said that he had to pick up and transport all the materials needed and if his business di


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

We really arent making enough of a deal about Hillary's Private server...

A woman of her status should have had at least a Lieutenant waiting on her.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the deal with Vampires these days?

Since when did blood sucking become so sexy?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I must be a plumber

With all the shit I deal with each day

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Theresa May?

FDR could pass a New Deal.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE