Dazed

Jokes

Walked up to a guy the other day....

I went up to a guy the other day and told him, "If you were any body part, you would be the asshole," he looked dazed that I would insult him like that and he asked back, "Now what gives you the idea to say that to me?" I shot back quickly, "Well you seem like a tight dude."


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I came out of a dark room, dazed, exhausted and my butt really hurt...

spin classes are not for me.

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Why do eggs leave Holland dazed?

Because they’ve been addicted.

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A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed as it left a New York publishing house last Thursday.

According to the Associated Press,
witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied,
confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered,
mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted,
astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, 
overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, and perplexed.


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A couple goes to see a marriage counselor

A man and a woman, having been married for 20 years, go see a marriage counselor to work out their problems. They get there, sit down, and almost immediately the wife starts naming every single problem they have had in their 20 years of marriage. She goes into detail about how her husband is not invested enough in their marriage, how he never gives her enough attention. After about an hour of this


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Little Johnny needed to go to the bathroom

So he told his mother "I need to poop!"

The mother was entertaining a bunch of friends and was clearly embarrassed to hear this out loud. So Johnny's mother leaned in and says "Next time you need to poop, say you need to whisper."

It was late night and the mother had gone to sleep. Little Johnny waddles into her room, and says to her "Mommy!


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Freshmen girls...

I keep getting older, but they stay the same age.

Wooderson, *Dazed and Confused*

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One day a mother is entertaining a group of friends...

And she sees Johnny waddle in. He says, "Mommy, I need to go poopy!" The mother, being a bit embarrassed, says to Johnny, "Next time you need to poop, say that you got to 'whisper', OK?"

A few days later in the middle of the night, little Johnny waddles into his parents room, and reaches for his mother.

Johnny says "Mommy, I need to whi


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Anthill Golfing

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.

So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. <


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So a man and his wife fly to Pittsburgh to see their old friend.

The man's wife hasn't been talking and has been giving her husband some nasty looks, so when she excuses herself to the restroom, the friend asks the man what's wrong.

"So, we're at the airport, right?" he begins. "Well, the lady behind the counter is this young blonde. And she had a *huge* rack. They were real, too, I could tell. And they were so pe


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