Dancing

Jokes

I was in Australia last month and saw a guy on the street playing Dancing Queen on a Didgeridoo...

It was very ABBA-riginal!

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The greenhorn

A greenhorn comes from back east to try his hand at prospecting. He buys his gear and heads off into the hills. He has a couple of lonely weeks, with a little bit of success finding gold.

He's sitting by his campfire one evening when this crusty old prospector shows up and says "Howdy there, neighbor. My spot's just over the hill there. I wanted to invite you a part


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Wanna hear a joke?

That show dancing with the stars is awesome!

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What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure?

An improvement

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.

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Do you know why rain dancing always works?

Because they dance until it rains.

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Going to the bar for the first time

So I went into the bar and was very nervous, I'm young and never experienced this atmosphere before. I'm trying to talk to all these ladies but none of my pick up lines are working, all my buddies have their girls they picked up and they're all dancing. I'm in the bar all alone and this beautiful blonde walks through the doors and sits beside me, she's a little bit older b


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China invented a pen that vibrates when you wright a wrong answer on a test





That pen and I would be dancing like crazy during exams

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How FDR contracted Polio.

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Hey look, some dancing cows

We must be inside of a discowtheque

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My Polish grandmother used to perform for a ballet company...

It was always awkward listening to her Pole Dancing stories.

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How to sustain a long marriage

Have two romatic dinners every week.

You can do a lot of things on a romatic dinner, like drinking wine, dancing, watching TV etc.

My wife goes on Monday and Wednesday, I go on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

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Bob had one hand and was depressed.....

Bob felt inadequate because he was missing a limb. He always felt incomplete and insignificant.

One day his friend, Fred, took him to a park and they noticed in person with no arms dancing around like crazy.

Fred shamed Bob regarding his outlook on life and said he should be more like the armless person they were witnessing.

Embarrassed, Bob walked up to the


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Teacher: Who do you think invented dancing, children?


Little Johnny: “My guess is a big Irish family with just one bathroom.”

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Apache Medicine Man

For as long as any one could remember, it was the Apache medicine man's job to name the newborn that came into the world. One day a warrior asked the medicine man how he came up with the names. The medicine man replied; When the baby is born, I look at the world to see something happening at the same moment the baby is born. If I see a bird flying, I name the baby Soaring Eagle, when I see


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Knock knock...

Who’s there?
Hike.
Hike who?

Warm midnight falling.
Stars shining, dancing brightly.
Peaceful all at once

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A Boyfriend and Girlfriend are Going to Their High School Prom

A boy and a girl are getting ready to go to their high school prom. They're making plans and the girlfriend realizes that the boyfriend hasn't rented his tux, gotten the corsage, and ordered the limo.

"Don't worry the boy says I'll take care of it."

The boy goes to the tailor and it's a ridiculously long line. He waits for hours and hour


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Need to know the ricardo dancing meme music... Dont ask why just tell me.

Please upvote and dont judge lol.

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Nice Legs...

A man goes to a bar and sees a 'larger' girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

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Why did so many black men get killed in Vietnam?

When the generals would yell, "Get down!" they would all start dancing.

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A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walks into a neighborhood pub

The place is hopping with music and dancing but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked," May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you sho


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A Pastor in a neighbourhood pub.

A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the toilet. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the toilet?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."

"Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really


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So I took ma epileptic buddy to Times Square.

He loved it so much, he started dancing on the ground.

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Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?

They're afraid it might look like they're dancing.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom...

First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s


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A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table...

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

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Did you know the Soviets invented Step Dancing?

True: it was invented by Stepan Stepanoff Stepanovich who lived on the Russian Steppe

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The dancing aliens (LONG)

On the first contact mission to Mars two astronauts where sent up to make contact with the other worldly beings. After 300 long days in the space ship the astronauts finally landed on Mars what they saw deeply surprised them they saw 2 beautiful humanoid figures welcoming them with open arms. The astronauts spent a few days on the lovely planet. When it was time for them to leave the figures that


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A buddy of mine was play diablo and dancing with skeletons

When I asked him what class he was playing he replied "Necrodancer"

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I went to the bar last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

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Why do mice have tiny little balls?

They don't care for dancing.

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh?

a bee dancing, you racists!

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A Pastor in neighborhood pub

A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the toilet. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the toilet?"
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."
"Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use th


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Mormons are forbidden to make love while standing up.

It looks too much like dancing.

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Why did so many black men get killed in Vietnam?

When the generals would yell, "Get down!" they would all start dancing.

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A bald man goes into a bar........

A bald man goes into a bar and sees a girl dancing on top of a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

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Punch line

A boy is about to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tuxedo but there is a long line at the tuxedo store and it takes a long time.

Afterwards he goes to get some flowers, but naturally there is a long line at the florist. He waits and waits, but soon gets the flowers.

He then goes to rent the limousine. Unfortunately there is a long line at the lim


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Guy takes his girlfriend to the prom....

So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom. And he's got a lot of work to do.

First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store. But there's a huge tuxedo line at the store. Finally he gets out of there and realizes he has to go buy a corsage, so he goes to a florist. But there's this big long corsage line at the florist. Finally he gets the c


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A man and a woman are dancing...

A man is dancing with a woman when he leans in and asks:
"Excuse me madam, but do you fuck?"
She says "Do you ask that question of every woman you dance with?"
"Yes I do."
"Then you must get an awful lot of slaps in the face."
"I do madam. But I also get an awful lot of fucks."


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What do call a sick anti vaxs kid dancing

Sicko mode

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When I went to Poland I saw the greatest dancing group in the country

When my wife asked what I did there I told her I saw the worlds best pole dancers!

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A hillbilly introduces himself to his neighbor

Hillbilly: "Howdy neighbor, I see you moved into the holler and as a welcoming gift, I wanna throw you a party. There will be a lotta drinkin, a lotta dancing, and a lotta screwing"

Neighbor: "Oh that sounds great, what can I bring?"

Hillbilly: "Well, you can bring anything you'd like, it's just gonna be you and me."


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Why did so many black soldiers die in Vietnam?

Whenever the platoon leader shouted, "Get down!" They all got up and started dancing.

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Irish Dancing Manual

Lost for centuries, volume 2 of the Irish Dancing Manual has finally been rediscovered.

It’s titled “How to Move The Arms”

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Where in Africa will you find people dancing?

Zumbabwe.

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TIFU by dancing to passionated at a 1980's themed party

I might discolated my shoulder.

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What do you call a pole-dancing chicken?

Chicken Strip.

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Jack and Joe are going to hunt

They went hunting and they brought their new hunting dog with them. The dog was new to this but they were certain that it would not be a problem, they hoped that the dog will learn quickly as it is a hunting breed after all.
Soon after they spot a hole so they point their hunting guns towards it and start shooting: BANG! BANG! They start looking at the dog expecting it to start looking for


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What do you call a dancing painter?

Bob Floss

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Why didnt any Soul Train dancers survive the Vietnam War?

Because when they yelled “Get Down!”, they started dancing.

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