Curve

Jokes

When you a mathematician and you tryna calculate the curve on your ex girlfriend

f(x)

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I asked my friend how the learning curve of his new job as a pilot is

He said the after a couple of years it’s just auto pilot.

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AN IRISH GHOST STORY


This story happened a while ago near Kells, County Meath, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale... it's true.
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John Reilly, a Cavan man studying in UCD, was on the side of the road hitchhiking back to Dublin on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong


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I recently saw the Netflix documentary, "Behind the Curve"

I wasn't what I was expecting because it was actually on people living with mental illnesses.

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Two priests are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before its too late! They plan to hold up the sign to each passing car.

“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yells the first driver as he speeds by. From around the curve the priests hear screeching tires and a big splash.

“Do you think,” one priest says to other, “it would be better to shorten the sign to ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”


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This is the best joke everyone read this. This is the Cheerio story I hope you enjoy!

THE CHERRIO STORY

So there are three different types of Cheerios. It’s like a social class system based on flavor the bottom class is the regular Cheerio it’s got no flavor. The lowest class is the plain oat Cheerios. Their not that appealing to look at and they have a vary bland taste. Next is the honey but Cheerios. These ones are pleasant to look at and have a better ta


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This happened in a little town in Northern Saskatchewan. Even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.

Harry was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark and stormy Halloween night. The night was getting darker and the rain came harder, and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly Harry saw a car come toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, Harry got in the car and closed the door. Just as he realized there was nob


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The God of the Curve

There is a God no one talks about but is known by all college students. It is the God of the Curve. Pray to her and she may bestow her blessing.

Did you do terrible on a test? Did you not study? Is the professor being a jerk and made the test too hard? Pray to her with all your might. A D could become a C. One time, I was blessed with F that turned to a high C.

She


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A wife driving all the sudden hears...

+ Honey thats the curve where I Ford
- Why do you always have yo say that when we pass the church where we got married

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A traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm

Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobo


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I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve.

What a plot twist

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A Man and a Mysteriously Moving Car

This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was roiling and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car coming towards him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door - and only then realized that there's nobody behind


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How many points does it take to draw a curve?

According to my engineering professor, just one, but you need to list your assumptions.

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I tried to ride my bike for 24 hours straight

But I couldn't find a road without a curve in it

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After celebrating Canadabis Day, I was pulled over by the cops for a drug test. And I passed!

With a bell curve

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Is it called "a straight curve" or "an straight curve?"

Neither, there are no straight curves.

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I just got a new job working for a mad scientist.

I think I only got the job because of the curve in my back, but it's just a hunch.

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What does a Machine Learning specialist and a Fashion Designer have in common?

They both specialize in curve-fitting

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My penis is like a bell shaped curve

It's in the middle.

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I want to become a flat earther.

But I heard that there is a learning curve.

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The story with the ultimate twist...

A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wants to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the hills his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It's dark and raining. And pretty soon he's wet and shivering


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I'm very good with statistics.

I would put myself somewhere near the top of the bell curve.

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What do you call a test that doesn't hand over points on a curve?

An F-test

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How I know the World is NOT flat

You can see the curve in a plane's chem trail as it approaches the horizon.

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The end is near . . .

A local priest and deacon stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that read, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They held up the sign to each passing car.

“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash.

“Do you think,&rdqu


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Why most single guys can't curve a bullet?

[deleted]

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It's yellow, it has a curve, looks just like a banana but it ain't no banana.

It was a banana anyway...

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A very British joke:

I went to a class to learn how to make the perfect cup of tea


It was a steep learning curve

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I like my grades like I like my woman

With curve

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A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road

They hold up a sign that reads,
"The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late!"
A passing driver yells,
"You guys are crazy!" and shakes his head in disbelief as he speeds past them. From around the curve, they hear screeching tires, and then a big splash.
The priest turns to the pastor and says, "Do you think we should put up


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Yo girl, are you a point a long the demand curve?

Because you're a Qd.

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My physics teacher is the chord slope of an a-t curve

The average jerk

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Your mama so fat..

Her curve set everyone's grade to A+

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It was a rainy day in Brisbane..

This story happened a while ago in Brisbane.

John Bradford, a Sydney University student, was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and


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God is with you...

A man who lives on the outskirts of a small town drove into to town early on a Sunday morning. He went to church and did his confession.
At the end of confession the father said to him “God is with you”
The man said “Thank you father” and walked out. As he left he bumps into a nun and she drops her flowers. He told her he was sorry and helped her pick up the fl


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Three men are out golfing...

As they are waiting for their tee time, a young, very attractive woman approaches them.

"Do you mind if I join you three for a round of golf?"

"Absolutely!" the three men reply.

By the 18th hole, the woman has been doing very well, but needs to sink a 30 foot putt in order to save par. She proposes an offer.

"To the ma


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Scary

This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reached the ghats his Car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and rainin


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A man stood on the side of the road hitchhiking

on a very dark night in the middle of a storm.
As the night went by no cars passed him. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop..

The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and


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Riding a car...

A man, in *curve*, skids.

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Don't ever go to the top of the bell curve.

Everyone there is mean.

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Irish Ghost

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of
the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a
big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so
strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and it stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinkin


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What's a woman's best curve?

Her smile.

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Curve

Men like women with curves


Women like men with class


I like classes with curves

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Which is the Best Curve on a Women's Body?

Her Smile..Just kidding look at that ass!

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An out of state traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barley see his hand in front of his face.

Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobo


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X-ray Parrot

A street vendor claims that his pet parrot can tell the color of the panties of the women walking by.

Three nuns come by and the parrot yells "yellow, white, green!"

The nuns are impressed.

The next day the parrot says "blue, orange, purple!!" and the nuns can't believe it.

The third day, they decide to throw a curve ba


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I am looking for a curve with good tight fit...

...said the statistician.

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My dad told me to be the best I can be and to always be at the top

I told him "I am at the top ...... of a bell curve"

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What do my penis and my slider have in common?

They both curve to the left and appear unexpectedly.

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How many Economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends on the supply and demand curve

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