I bumped into this kid in the street.
I showed him a book I wrote, since he looked bored and lonely.
Turns out he was an orphan, and he didn't much like my book but was curious as to how successful it was.
I said, "Well, it puts a roof over my head."
My friend keeps experimenting with his coffee order
One day he'll try soy milk, then almond milk, then regular milk. So I sat him down and said which one is it? You have to choose. And he said I'm milk curious.
There was once the case of a licensed physician who was known for his harsh attitude on the job but he became markedly softer off of it.
It was also known as the curious case of Dr. Heckle and Mr. Chide.
A Farmer and His Pigs
Do you know how to make a gay person curious?
Yeah, like this
A beautiful prostitute attended a high profile function.
When it was time for introductions you could hear, I am Dr this and that, professor this or that, Barristers, engineers this and that etc.
When it was the turn of the prostitute, she calmly said she is a Civil Engineer.
Another curious engineer in the room got interested and asked her for area of specializa
A farmer stood in his field for 7 nights.
His curious wife asked what are you doing? He replied I am going for an Oscar, you have to be outstanding in your field to achieve:
Ok, so imagine theres a catastrophe in Korea.
I recently visited a curious street from my childhood. The houses are numbered 64, 128, 256, 512 and so on.
It was a lovely walk down Memory Lane.
So the other day, I was curious what would happen if I licked a wall outlet...
So I did it...
Needless to say, I was shocked.
My teacher told me hed inform me which faculty member was a homosexual if I gave him a kiss in the bathroom...
A boy walks in on his dad masturbating.
The boy, curious asks him, "Dad, what are you doing?"
The father replies, "This is called masturbating, and pretty soon you will be doing it also."
The kid, puzzled, asks, "How do you know that?"
The father goes "Because my arm is getting tired."
A man from Alabama once asked another man, Is that the you are hugging in the picture your girlfriend? to which the person replied, no it is my cousin
Man was walking by a gated secured mental home, when he heard over the walls...15....15...15....15.... Curious he seen a hole in the wall so he walked over and peaked thru, and got poked in the eyeball! Then he heard....16....16....16....16
An athlete was walking into the Olympic stadium...
An athlete was walking into the Olympic stadium carrying a long pole on his shoulder. A curious fan that was standing at the gates approached him and asked:
"Are you a polevaulter?"
To which the athlete replied, surprised,
"No, I'm German. But how did you know my name?"
Buy a moped
A boy wants to buy a moped and spends evenings searching the internet. His father is curious what hè is looking for and asks :”What are you looking for my son?” “I am looking for a moped dad.”he replies. To which dad says : “IT is better not to do this. I also have your mother from the internet and i’m more walking along then i sit on it.”
An attractive man hired a prostitute for a handjob. She's curious as to why he needs to pay for her services. He says, "This may come as a surprise..."
"So you might want to close your eyes."
A guy leans closer to his wife. Can you keep a secret?
he whispers to her.
“Sure I can,” says the wife, becoming curious.
“That’s good,” whispers the man again, “so can I.”
A psychiatrist asks for a second opinion from a colleague
"I have this crazy guy in one of my wards, he likes to eat teacups. Have you seen anything like this?"
"Wait, does he eat the handles too?"
"No, that's the curious thing, he leaves the handles untouched."
"Well then he's definitely crazy, the handles are the tastiest part!"
My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body.
I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
A man brags before his friend : "I'm very fast at calculus !"
So his friend, curious now, asks :
\- 72043 divided by 17 ?
The man immediately replies :
\- But... that's wrong!
\- Yep. But it's fast!
I don't know why people are so scared of Polar bears?
Personally, I'm terrified of them Bi-polar bears. They keep assuring you they're only "curious" and then you wake up face down with your pants off and you never hear from 'em again.
Johnny's dad wanted Johnny to take a shower
Johnny's dad told Johnny to take a shower. "I'm scared, can I take a shower with you?" Johnny said. "No, son, that would be weird," his father replied. "Pleeeasee?" he cried. "Okay, okay, but just don't look down.."
Johnny, being the curious boy he was, looked down. "Dad, what's that?" he asked. His dad gave him a w
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's onl
I'm not really a fully committed capitalist...
...I'm what they call buy-curious.
A limerick about vaginas I wrote five years ago
There once was a gal from Cancun,
Who had a most curious poon.
T'was coarse like a thistle,
But tight as a whistle,
And whilst cumming, could play you a tune.
The doctor to the patient, you came just in time!
The patient curious: "Why, is it that bad?" The doctor relieved "No, tomorrow it would have been gone!"
I once saw a man crossing the road
He was glued to his phone when a truck ran over him.
Everyone who saw the scene went to help him, including myself. His body was practically gone, reduced to atoms, except for his head.
I slowly approached the poor man's head and I saw his cellphone onto him, I picked it up for curious and I found out he's been browsing this exact subreddit before the incident
A little kid at school opens a violin case...
A little kid at school opens a violin case and there is a big gun inside. The little kid says:
"I'm curious what is my father going to do in the bank with my violin..."
What do you call a motorcyclist who questions their sexual orientation?
Apple releases an apple ..
Apple starts selling an apple in the shape of it's iconic logo. People stand in long lines to get the shiny, plastic sealed apples.
One curious customer tears open the plastic seal and finds a dead bug inside. The media gets wind of it and approaches the CEO to get comments.
He says: "It's not a bug, it's a feature"
How do you know for sure a random stranger is curious?
A man is placing a stake in the ground out side of a library.
A man is placing a stake in the ground outside of a library.A passerby comes up to the dude and asks him what he's doing,to which the man replies "I'm making a pole where people can mark off books they've read"soon the passerby leaves.
5 weeks later the passerby sees a different man doing the same thing as the first,but instead of just 1 onlooker he has many.So he as
A guy visits NYC for the first time and decides to go see Chinatown.
As he’s walking around, amongst all the Chinese shops he spots a bakery called “Hans Olufsen’s Bakery”. Feeling curious, he walks in. Inside he sees an all Chinese staff, with several Chinese pastries on display. Even more curious, he notices the guy who looks like the manager and talks to him:
“Hello, I’m wondering - who’s Hans Olufsen?&rdquo
I saw a bicycle for multiple riders.
My interest was piqued. You could say I was bike curious.
A man goes to Hell
Arriving there, he is greeted by Satan.
„Welcome Buddy! Let me show you around.“
They walk along a sunny beach, the sun is shining, the water is deep blue, everywhere are people laughing and having a good time.
They stop by some groups, have a chat and a drink with them and move along.
As the sun is setting, Satan is guiding the man through
What do you call a movie with Sonic the Hedgehog, and Curious George?
2 Fast 2 Curious
A guy walks into a bar in Chicago looking kind of upset.
The bartender says "What'll it be bud?"
"Just a beer" says the man.
Reading the mans expression the bartender asks "Whats the matter?"
The man says "Everyone tells me I'm not having enough sex, but I can't seem to find any women who want to have sex."
The bartender is curious so he says, &quo
A woman dies and goes to the gates of heaven.
When she gets there, she is perplexed and confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.
She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every station.
Finally, she seems to recognize someone who appears to be in charge. She runs over and asks
If youre straight and hire an escort of the same sex...
Does that make you buy-curious?
How did the pirate find out he was Bi-Curious?
He got pegged.
A doctor came up with a new surgery
A doctor came up with a new surgery called a “race change”. An asian man was curious, so he went through the surgery and became caucasian. Two weeks later the doctor asked, “How does it feel? Is everything okay?” The asian man said “It’s great! This whole experience was a real... eye opener”
"What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine?" asked the curious boy.
His mother took a deep breath and then replied, "It wooden go."
There was family reunion one day and the mom and dad were preparing for it.
The kid went to the kitchen where his mom was cutting the turkey.
She anciently cuts her finger and screamed "Fuck!"
Kid: what does "fuck" mean?
Mom: o-oh it means "cut" hah ha...
so then the child went to his father who was s
Man in the Woods
A naked old man stumbled out of the woods on the side of a dirt road. I stopped to see if he was alright.
Me: "Hey sir, you doing alright?"
Him: "I'm fine. What's it to ya?"
Me: "Just curious. What brought you all the way out here?"
Him: "Just huntin and fuckin"
Me: "...what ar
A man visited his heavily bandaged friend in the hospital.
Upon seeing his injuries, the friend asked: “What happened to you?”
“Well, we went to a theme park and decided to ride a roller coaster,” the man explained. “As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was too small and I couldn’t make it out. I was so curious that I went around a
I don't have any medical issues, but I'm a really curious about trying an enema one day.
Ya know, just for shits
A man and his wife are cooking a ham one day
The woman chops off both ends and throws them away before putting it in the oven . Surprised, the husband asks why she did that. She replies “Well that’s the way my mother did it!” Curious, he calls his mother in-law and asks her why she did it that way. She tells him “My mother always did it that way growing up!” So he calls his wife’s grandmother and asks agai
Q:what is curious george"s favorite band ? A:gorillaz