Crutch

Jokes

McDonald's is providing a special crutch to all disabled customers for use in their bathrooms, but the POTUS doesn't like it.

It's called the john McCane.

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Make a difference in an elderly person's life.

I myself have kicked a crutch out from under a little old lady.

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What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?

Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

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My parents claim I'm using alcohol as a crutch

I told them to stop being naive, crutches help you walk

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Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago,

and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch! Then he splashed some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!"

"My boy, you've witnessed a miracle! What happened then?"

"He fell on his ass Father, he's a cripple you know!"


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We didn't have much growing up and money was tight.

So when one day my dad found a crutch lying on the road, he came home and broke my leg.

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A MIRACLE IN MY CHURCH!

Little Johnny goes to church on Sunday. There, he runs into the priest.

The priest says: Good morning Johnny!

Johnny: Good morning, Father.

Priest: Tell me Johnny, how is your brother Timmy doing these days?

Johnny: Well Father. Timmy is crippled you know? And just the other day Father, Timmy came to the church, took holy water and rubbed it o


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Father! Father! An old man just hobbled into the church...

Father! Father! An old man just hobbled into the church on crutches.
He splashed some holy water on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch, and then he splashed some holy water on his left leg and threw away his left crutch! And…
”"My boy, you’ve witnessed a miracle! Where is this old man now?”
"Flat on his ass on the floor over


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I'm going to make a porno about an Asian disabled man who does what needs to be done under great amounts of pressure

I'll call it "Cumming in Crutch"

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The Televangelist.

So a Televangelist during a recording of one of his shows, needed 2 volunteers.

"I NEED TWO VOLUNTEERS TO ERADICATE THE DEVIL FROM THEIR SOULS, GOD BLESS YOU."

First up, was a man on crutches.

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON?"

"Kevin"

"AND WHAT HAS THE DEVIL DONE TO YOU?"

"I can


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Little Jimmy goes to church.

Little Jimmy goes to church on Sunday. There, he runs into the priest.

The priest says, "Good morning Jimmy!"

Jimmy: "Good morning, Father."

Priest: "Tell me Jimmy, how is your brother Timmy doing these days?"

Jimmy: "Well Father, Timmy is crippled you know? And just the other day Father, Timmy came to the


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Profanity is a crutch

For the inarticulate motherfucker

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Bob had a speech impediment and Bill was a cripple

The brothers decided to take a trip to Europe in the hopes that they could meet the Pope and he would heal Bill. When they get back home Bob goes to work and everyone asks about his trip and if Bill has been healed. “Well”, he says, “We got to da Vatican, and saw dat da Pope was giving a fowmal sewvice and said he would do a healing afterwawds. My bwother Bill walked up to da Pop


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Jew kids on trip

So kids from jewish school won a competition and the 1st prize was a trip to Auswitchz for an excursion.
From the airport they had to go by bus there. It wasn't long way and everyone was pretty excited but half-way there the bus broke down. The driver knowing the generosity of the Polish people tried to knock on the door of the first house. An older men leaning on a crutch opened a door


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I really need to watch my language...

You know what they say, swearing is the grammatical crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers.

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