Crow

Jokes

What do Crows say?

*Caw! Caw!*

What's a crows favorite movie?

*Saw! Saw!*

How does a crow have sex?

*Raw! Raw!*

How does a crow taste?

*Like the sex i'd imagine.*

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A crow got cut in half by a wind turbine.

ow

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Chance the Rapper sounds like a crow trying to get another crows attention.

“Aah!?”

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Do you know why you never see a crow dead in the road?

Because he has a buddy on the side yelling "KAAAA...KAAAA"

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A crow flies into the tent of the ringmaster of an internationally famous circus.

"I hear you're looking for new acts," says the crow in a marvelously clear voice.

The ringmaster blinks a couple of times and says, "Are you talking?"

"Of course I'm talking," the crow replied with a scoff. "I talk, I speak seventeen languages, I sing baritone with perfect pitch. I'm diverse. And my demands are few."<


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I just mistook a Jackdaw for a Crow.

Rooky mistake.

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I lost half of my pet crow

Ow

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Girl : How hot is your cock?

Me : My-crow-wave.


Girl : Oh is it erect right now?


Me : No, Microsoft.

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A crow walks into a bar and orders a drink..

The director of this film says "hi russel!"...

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A crow flies into the tent of the ringmaster of an internationally famous circus.

"I hear you're looking for new acts," says the crow in a marvelously clear voice.

The ringmaster blinks a couple of times and says, "Are you talking?"

"Of course I'm talking," the crow replied with a scoff. "I talk, I speak seventeen languages, I sing baritone with perfect pitch. I'm diverse. And my demands are few."<


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A crow flies into the tent of the ringmaster of an internationally famous circus.

"I hear you're looking for new acts," says the crow in a marvelously clear voice.

The ringmaster blinks a couple of times and says, "Are you talking?"

"Of course I'm talking," the crow replied with a scoff. "I talk, I speak seventeen languages, I sing baritone with perfect pitch. I'm diverse. And my demands are few."<


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I witnessed an attempted murder yesterday.

Luckily, only one crow showed up.

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Friendly Crow: How was your family reunion?

Antisocial Crow: It was murder...

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Please finish my joke: A Xenomorphe and a Scare Crow walk out of the woods...

Okay so my friend and I took acid and came up with the beginning of the joke above, but given the situation we can't think of a punchline to the joke.


Please help us come up with a solution.

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Crow joins two other feasting on a dead rat...

says - a murder, eh?!

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A raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing, called pinion feathers. A crow has 16.

So, the difference between a raven and a crow is basically a matter of a pinion.

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What's black and noisy as hell?

A crow on a drumset.

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Intelligent Crows

When I was in school, some professors noticed that the crows on campus were astoundingly intelligent. These crows recognized that when lights were green, cars could go and when they were red, cars would stop. Using this knowledge, the crows would put nuts on the crosswalk so that during a green light, they'd be run over by cars and their shells cracked for the crows, to be collected at a red


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What do you call it when a raven marries a crow?

A conspiracy to commit [to] murder.

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A crow was arrested an put behind bars.

His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him.
"How bad is it?" The crow asked.

"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your phone."

"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."

"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer bird said.


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A young crow, which just left the nest, flies in a forest

"Caw! Caw! Caaaw!" - he calls. Suddenly, he hits a tree and falls to the ground.
"Wooof! Meow! Fuck, what was I supposed to say?"

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What do you call a well-hung Indian chief?

Crow-Magnum Man

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A 30 year-old white guy went on a date with an 80 year-old black woman

He: “the weather is nice today, isn’t it?”

She: “Mhmmmm”

He: “Martin Luther King was the best, wasn’t he?”

She: “Mhmmmmmm”

He: “fried chicken and Kool-Aid are so good, aren’t they?”

She: “Mhmmmmmmmmm”

He: “Jim Crow laws are ba


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What's black and dangerous and sits in a tree?

A crow with a machine gun

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What does a chocolate crow say?

“CACAO!”

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Where did the construction birds go after a long day's work

the crow-bar

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What is the name of the Final Exam you take when studying Bird Law?

The Crow Bar

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My Dad Told Me This One, You Might Know It

3 men are on top of a cliff. A mystical diety approaches them.

"I will grant you one wish, you just have to jump off the cliff!" His voice booms.

The first man, being power hungry, wished to be a lion, king of the jungle. He jumps off and screams "Lion!" And becomes one at the bottom of the cliff.

The second man, only wished to kno


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Almost witnessed a murder today!!!

But there was only one crow

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What's the difference between a crow and a raven?

Only one knows how to party.

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I tried talking to my friend who is a crow

He said he was busy and he’d give me a caw

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A crow asked me to donate to his charity organisation

Namely "Caw Caw Caw Caw". It was four (a) good caws.

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Crow study

Hi,

Breaking news :

the Blackwall Tunnels have been closed and the speed limit has been reduced:
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the Blackwall tunnel approach recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avi


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I stepped on a shit of a crow

I crushed her

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The bet just told me my bird had a rare skin disease

It’s called crow-sacea

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A guy applies for a job at a circus

Manager:"What are your talents?"
Guy:"I can imitate a crow really well!!"
Manager:"Sorry i don't think you can be of use to us"
Guy:"Shit, i was sure i would get the job, well ok then, bye" proceedes to turn around and fly away

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If a stork brings a white baby, and a crow brings a black baby what brings no baby?

a swallow

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Management lessons

*Lesson Number One*

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the


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John was wondering if he were truly transgender.

He went to his dad, and told him that he feels like he might be transgender, and might actually be female. Luckily, his father had a tool on him. "Throughout history, people have been asking themselves the same thing. One of my ancestors discovered that, if you cut off the penis of a crow, seal it shut, and then hold it to you, it will flex in a particular direction."

His fa


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What is it called when you bid on a bunch of crow eggs on Ebay?

Attempted murder.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a serial crow killer

a murdermurderermurderer

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What do crows take for gut issues?

Crow-biotics.

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Why did the crow buy a gun ?

to aid a murder

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What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?

Wrestle Crow.

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Good joke i think

why did the scare crow get a promotion
because
he was outstanding in his field

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A crow invited all his friends to come round to his house, but no-one showed up....

It was an attempted murder.

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A group of crow are called murder

A group of fish are called school

A group of Gorilla are called band

A group of Turkey are called gang

And finally a group of Repost are called Reddit

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A crow asks a lady to donate to it's charity

'Whats your charity called?' , asks the lady.
' CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! ' , said the crow,
' It's four good caws'

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The difference between a raven and a crow.

A raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers.

A crow has 16.

So, the difference between a raven and a crow is basically a matter of a pinion.

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What do you call a basket of crow eggs?

An abortion.

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