Cross

Jokes

OC Kid's joke... What do you get when you cross a loon (bird) with a common summer pest?

A Loon-a-tick

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What do you call a cross between a hobgoblin and a stomach ulcer?

u/hatterthethird

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A man gets drunk on a night out...

he gets VERY drunk. to the point of belligerence. so he picks a fight with the bouncer at the bar he's at. the bouncer knocks him out cold and clean. when he comes to, he wakes up in a wooden carriage with multiple people in it. the man across from him says: " Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as


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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because wealthy people in power positions that fuck children can get away with anything they want.

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Why did the goose cross the road?

To go be a dick to someone else.
Geese are dicks

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate.

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When is a pentagram better than a cross?

When it's burning.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see a little faggot.

Knock knock

Who's there?

The chicken

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What do you get when you cross a cow, an octopus, and a man?

a reprimand from the ethics commissioner.

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What do you get when you cross a migrant worker with an octopus?

I don't know what it's called...
But it can sure pick tomatoes!

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Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge?

Because he didn't truss it.

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What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

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What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip?

Killed in a tunnel.

(Credit to Jimmy Carr)

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What do you get if you cross an alligator with a giraffe?

A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

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The general rule for guys is to never cross streams.

except if there's a ghost

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What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

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Why did the cloud cross the road?

It was storming away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because her Johns were parked there with their cocks out .

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What do you get if you cross a frog, a duck, an elephant, and a rhino?

Fuck if I know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

'Elliphino

(Works better if you say it)

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What do you get if you cross a mafioso with a supermodel?

Shot.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road?

How did the chicken cross the road?!

​

WHO IS THE CHICKEN?!?!

​

I swear I'll get to the bottom of this cluckspiracy!

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What did Jesus feel before he was nailed to the cross?

Pins and Needles

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What's a mexicans favorite sport?

Cross-country

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What did Jesus feel the night before he was nailed to the cross?

Pins and needles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elefino

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Why did the Bitcoin cross the road?

To get to the other Sats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Wait for it

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did Donald Trump cross the road?

His dick was stuck in the chicken

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Tomorrow, I am finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person, and Ive no idea what Ill do when I finally see it.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

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Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because i put the wrong socks on this morning.

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Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong sock on this morning!

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What do you get when you cross Darth Vader and an Elephant?

An Ele-Vader.

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Bob Barker was in an accident yesterday :(

He was trying to cross the street, and got hit by \*A BRAAAAAAAAAAND NEWWWWWWWWWW CAAAAAAAAAAAR\*

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I'd much rather live in Norway than Denmark so I don't have to switch insurance providers.

Denmark doesn't have a Blue Cross as far as I know.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired?

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Why did the chicken cross the road

To get to the other side

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Why did the duck cross the road?

Because this joke is now officially quality content for /r/jokes.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate

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How did the chicken cross the road?

She turned state's evidence.

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Why did the Goo Goo Dolls cross the road?

To get to the other Slide. Sorry for my bad joke.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a pineapple?

To get to the otherside

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a tapeworm?

About ten feet of barbed wire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiots house

Knock knock

Who's there

The chicken

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Why did the chicken named Willie cross the road?

He just couldn't wait to get on the road again.

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