OC Kid's joke... What do you get when you cross a loon (bird) with a common summer pest?

A Loon-a-tick

What do you call a cross between a hobgoblin and a stomach ulcer?

u/hatterthethird

A man gets drunk on a night out...

he gets VERY drunk. to the point of belligerence. so he picks a fight with the bouncer at the bar he's at. the bouncer knocks him out cold and clean. when he comes to, he wakes up in a wooden carriage with multiple people in it. the man across from him says: " Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because wealthy people in power positions that fuck children can get away with anything they want.

Why did the goose cross the road?

To go be a dick to someone else.
Geese are dicks

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate.

When is a pentagram better than a cross?

When it's burning.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt

What do you get when you cross a cow, an octopus, and a man?

a reprimand from the ethics commissioner.

What do you get when you cross a migrant worker with an octopus?

I don't know what it's called...
But it can sure pick tomatoes!

Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge?

Because he didn't truss it.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip?

Killed in a tunnel.

(Credit to Jimmy Carr)

What do you get if you cross an alligator with a giraffe?

A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

The general rule for guys is to never cross streams.

except if there's a ghost

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Why did the cloud cross the road?

It was storming away.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because her Johns were parked there with their cocks out .

What do you get if you cross a frog, a duck, an elephant, and a rhino?

Fuck if I know.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

'Elliphino

(Works better if you say it)

What do you get if you cross a mafioso with a supermodel?

Shot.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

How did the chicken cross the road?!

​

WHO IS THE CHICKEN?!?!

​

I swear I'll get to the bottom of this cluckspiracy!

What did Jesus feel before he was nailed to the cross?

Pins and Needles

What's a mexicans favorite sport?

Cross-country

What did Jesus feel the night before he was nailed to the cross?

Pins and needles.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elefino

Why did the Bitcoin cross the road?

To get to the other Sats.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Wait for it

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Why did Donald Trump cross the road?

His dick was stuck in the chicken

Tomorrow, I am finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person, and Ive no idea what Ill do when I finally see it.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because i put the wrong socks on this morning.

Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put the wrong sock on this morning!

What do you get when you cross Darth Vader and an Elephant?

An Ele-Vader.

Bob Barker was in an accident yesterday :(

He was trying to cross the street, and got hit by \*A BRAAAAAAAAAAND NEWWWWWWWWWW CAAAAAAAAAAAR\*

I'd much rather live in Norway than Denmark so I don't have to switch insurance providers.

Denmark doesn't have a Blue Cross as far as I know.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired?

Why did the chicken cross the road

To get to the other side

Why did the duck cross the road?

Because this joke is now officially quality content for /r/jokes.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flat mate

How did the chicken cross the road?

She turned state's evidence.

Why did the Goo Goo Dolls cross the road?

To get to the other Slide. Sorry for my bad joke.

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a pineapple?

To get to the otherside

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a tapeworm?

About ten feet of barbed wire.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiots house

Knock knock

Who's there

The chicken

Why did the chicken named Willie cross the road?

He just couldn't wait to get on the road again.

What do you call a crucifix in Thousand Isle?

Cross Dressing