Crop

Jokes

Did you hear about the grizzly who didn't like his daughter wearing a crop top?

He disapproved of her exposing her bear midriff.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

3 men

There were 3 men lost one night and they came across a farm. They found the farmhouse and knocked on the door. The farmer came out and the men told him their predicament. He said that they could stay the night, on one condition. They could not touch his prized apple. He then showed them the apple so that they would know what it looked like. Then they were shown their room and stayed the night.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Got a good handjob in a vegetative state.

Cream of the crop.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the farmer who lost his crop?

There was no roleplay that night.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Next Years Peanuts

Two old farmers are sitting in a cafe, bullshittin’ and jawin’ on about business and such.

Times had been hard, as of late. Rain had been scarce, crops were poor and the local crop of choice, peanuts, had really suffered.

As such, the local bank had declared, at the beginning of the season, that they would not lend on peanut crops. They suggested sunflowers,


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The farmer who was too hands-on

There was once a farmer who liked to intervene a bit too much in his crops' growth. After he planted the crops, he wouldn't just water them and monitor the weather and their growth (and set up irrigation accordingly). Once the crops got growing a bit, he'd start to dig up a couple to feel the root system, to see how it was growing, see which direction it was getting water from, se


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

So Thanos is a farmer now...

He must be really into crop dusting

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

As a farmer, when i first met my wife, she was not impressed when i didn't partake in planting the seeds of next years crop.

I told her: "That's not my responsibility on this farm.

​

I'm a grower, not a sower."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Yo mama so fat...

she doesn’t have corn rows, she has crop circles.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Last time I was in jail I felt like a crop field in 1860

Cause I was being plowed by black guys all day long

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did farmer say when his entire crop died suddenly.

What a surprising turnip event.

*This is my first attempt at writing a joke, and my wife thinks it's awful.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why did the farmer talk to his corn crop?

Because they have ears.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop.

They're absolutely gourd-geous.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why was the farmers crop better than his neighbors?



Because he was out standing in his field.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I find numbers and days interesting, its nice to see the coincidences that can crop up.

For instance, it’s been 6,877 days since I was born, and it’s also been 6,877 days since I was last inside a woman.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I find dates interesting, what I find interesting is the coincidences that can crop up.

For instance, it’s been 6,877 days since I was born. And it’s also 6,877 days since I was last inside a women.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the corniest style of clothing ever made?

A crop top

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Matthew McConaughey recently started farming in between movies, but he only plants and harvests one crop...

All rye, all rye, all rye.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Crop tops are very efficient.

They don't let anything go to waist.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's a selfish headaches favorite crop to grow?

Mygraine

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Did you hear about the cheap farmer that let a town starve?

He didn't give a crop

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the person with a headache say when people tried to steal his crop?

It's migraine!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.

The steaks were high.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's an Islamist's favourite crop?

Rice is.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

This hot weather...

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts...

Although it does make me look a bit gay.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Three landowners walk into a bar...

The first one says, "I'v bought tools for my serfs so they can farm more efficiently." The other two ask, "What is your job?" He answers, "I own a mine." and buys himself a drink. The second one says, "I'v built houses for all of my serfs so they can be comfortable at home." The other two ask,"What is your job?" He answers, "I'&


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What did the crop say to the Farmer?

Why are you picking on me?

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A farmer planted a crop of puns

They were home groan.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A crop, Racist, and Murderer walk into a bar.

And that's just the first guy.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Please post your best nerdy jokes here...

I want the cream of the crop, the absolute finest jokes that you have to offer, as long as they are classified as 'nerdy', relating to Science or Maths.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE