Cricket

Jokes

Why cant you watch the cricket in Afghanistan

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's brown, stinks, and squeezed out by a bunch of New Zealanders?

the Indian cricket team

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The warden of Auschwitz addresses the prisoners one day

Today ve vill play games. Ze americans vill play baseball on ze baseball field, ze english vill play cricket on ze cricket field and ze jews vill play hopscotch on ze minefield

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I spent 80 taking my son to see the cricket today.

Eighty quid and all it did was hop about and chirrup.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Just been to my first cricket match.

No idea what the rules were but they were all incredible jumpers.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife says she's leaving me due to my obsession with cricket.

I'll be honest, it's knocked me for six.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Eric can play football but can Eric play cricket?

Eric can't, nah.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Pakistan made the 105 which South Africa needed to win yesterday in the Cricket World Cup. They were just continuing where SA left off!

Yesterday, England won by 104 runs against SA. Today, Pak managed to make 105. Coincidence?!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If you have a cricket ball in each hand what are you?

A pervert sexualy harassing a Male cricket.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If you had a cricket ball in one hand and a cricket ball in the other what do you have?

A gigantic, male cricket.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Soccer joke

Why doesn't Real Madrid play cricket?

Because cricket has two bails.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a cop with a Broken back

Cricket cop

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

You ever heard the sound of a cricket on its last leg?

... no one has.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A cricket walks into a sporting goods store:

A cricket walks into a store selling goods for sports, looking to buy a baseball bat.

He walks up to the clerk:

"Where are the baseball bats located, please?" The cricket asks.

The clerk is, not surprisingly, shocked to see a talking cricket. But he decides to play it cool.

"Over there," the clerk says, "Hey! Do you know


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why is Cricket called Cricket? (Phone company)

That's all the employees hear!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Once i throw 6 ball towards batsman it's over for y'all

Cricket

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If Im holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger and bigger...

.... and then it hit me!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I spent most of yesterday evening watching Cricket highlights

My eyes are a bit sore now but I’ve always been fascinated by pitch illuminations.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why dont grasshoppers watch football?

They prefer cricket!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A man visits the doctor.

"You've got to help me," he said. "I think I'm a cricket ball."

"How's that?" the doctor replied.

The man scowled. "Oh no, don't you start ..."

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Cricket and the Ant

were living in the same field. The Ant was a hard-working fella, always taking care of his foodstuff and long family. The Cricket, however cared only about divertissement - he was a musician himself. He spent much of his time around the bar and skirts.
The Summer was hot, and after a long busy day, the Ant went to the bar to throw in a well-deserved cold beer. There he met the Cricket who wa


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.

He has no moth and he must scream.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I couldnt figure out why the cricket ball kept getting larger

Then it hit me.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats big, grey and scares the shit out of magpies?

The Melbourne Cricket Ground on AFL Grand Final Day

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats this difference between Kris Jenner and a cricket ball?

If you try really, really hard, you can eat a cricket ball.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Blacks are excellent at sports like cricket, baseball etc.

Because they're good at hitting and running away.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

My wife and I were sitting in our living room in silence looking at our phones...

We heard a cricket outside and she looked at me and said "I heard a cricket chirping, but you didn't tell a joke"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I got a good look at that new Don Bradman Cricket game

Oddly enough I couldn't find a single bug

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What do you call a Disney character who just wants to take over the world?

Hegemony Cricket.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A new DC storyline involves the Dark Knight being kidnapped by a cricket team...

After being told he escaped the locked room, the Boss screamed "Howzat happen?"

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I was writing new jokes, the quality felt terrible but then it came to me..

and I finally caught the cricket!

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

If I Would Stand Outside At Night And Shout "I Am Horny Any Female Around?"

**I'll Probably Get Arrested, But The Cricket Does It Every Night and nobody minds**

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

(nsfw) How do you stop 12 Indian men from raping a visiting tourist?

hand them Cricket Equipment and a map to the nearest pitch. Also 200 energetic cows just to be sure.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

How to break up like a pro

Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people being your back.

Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?

You and me love?! We're like six balls in cricket, OVER!!

I'm leaving you on religious grounds. I've decided to being a Jew, and you're a fucking pig.


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Long Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives...

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved cricket all our lives, and we played cricket on Saturdays together for so many years.
Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's bat and ball there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mik


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Fck cheesy chat-up lines, we need better break-up lines:

Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back.

Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?

I didn't know angels flew this close to the ground. Maybe that's because this angel's gained a little weight since we started going out.

You and me love, we're like six balls in cr


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

For the Aussies amp cricket fans A guy goes to the doctor...


...Doctor: what’s the matter?

Patient: doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my ass (arse for the Aussies)

Doctor: how’s that?

Patient: don’t you start

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

This guy tried to sell me his idea of a cricket field lit by LED lights.

It was an interesting pitch.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A cricket is in love with a mantis

but he's terrified, because he keeps hearing that a mantis will eat the male after sex. Nevertheless, one night the cricket gets really drunk and propositions the mantis. The two have amazing sex all night long, but in the morning the cricket comes to his senses and starts eyeing the mantis warily.

"What's wrong?" asks the mantis.
"Well, I don't


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Stormy Daniels should quit being a pornstar

And become a cricket captain for Australia, since she can tamper balls so well

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A fast food restaurant introduced their new cricket based burger meal.

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

What's the difference between Cinderella and the Australian Cricket team?

Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

I'm going to apply for the job as Australia's next cricket captain.

I've been ball tampering for years and never got caught.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The australian cricket team

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Whats the difference between your mum and a cricket pitch?

I cant catch anything when I’m inside a cricket pitch.

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

The Pakistani cricket team walk into a bar...

to watch the Indian Premier League

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

Why are Australians so good at cricket?

Criminals have a hit-and-run mindset

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

This sikh man (called sardarji, and a butt of jokes in india) is going on a company tour.

he has noticed his wife looking longingly at the young boys playing cricket, and the boys playing cricket looking lustlily at his wife.

but now he is required to go on a three day tour, and leave his wife alone. he is sure that the wife will call the boys up for sex, and that there will be a lot of sex. so he comes up with a plan.

he says to his wife, "do you know


read more
UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE

A cricket walks into a bar...

[deleted]

UPVOTE
DOWNVOTE
LOAD MORE