Why cant you watch the cricket in Afghanistan
What's brown, stinks, and squeezed out by a bunch of New Zealanders?
the Indian cricket team
The warden of Auschwitz addresses the prisoners one day
Today ve vill play games. Ze americans vill play baseball on ze baseball field, ze english vill play cricket on ze cricket field and ze jews vill play hopscotch on ze minefield
I spent 80 taking my son to see the cricket today.
Eighty quid and all it did was hop about and chirrup.
Just been to my first cricket match.
No idea what the rules were but they were all incredible jumpers.
My wife says she's leaving me due to my obsession with cricket.
I'll be honest, it's knocked me for six.
Eric can play football but can Eric play cricket?
Eric can't, nah.
Pakistan made the 105 which South Africa needed to win yesterday in the Cricket World Cup. They were just continuing where SA left off!
Yesterday, England won by 104 runs against SA. Today, Pak managed to make 105. Coincidence?!
If you have a cricket ball in each hand what are you?
A pervert sexualy harassing a Male cricket.
If you had a cricket ball in one hand and a cricket ball in the other what do you have?
A gigantic, male cricket.
Why doesn't Real Madrid play cricket?
Because cricket has two bails.
What do you call a cop with a Broken back
You ever heard the sound of a cricket on its last leg?
... no one has.
A cricket walks into a sporting goods store:
A cricket walks into a store selling goods for sports, looking to buy a baseball bat.
He walks up to the clerk:
"Where are the baseball bats located, please?" The cricket asks.
The clerk is, not surprisingly, shocked to see a talking cricket. But he decides to play it cool.
"Over there," the clerk says, "Hey! Do you know
Why is Cricket called Cricket? (Phone company)
That's all the employees hear!
Once i throw 6 ball towards batsman it's over for y'all
If Im holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger and bigger...
.... and then it hit me!
I spent most of yesterday evening watching Cricket highlights
My eyes are a bit sore now but I’ve always been fascinated by pitch illuminations.
Why dont grasshoppers watch football?
They prefer cricket!
A man visits the doctor.
"You've got to help me," he said. "I think I'm a cricket ball."
"How's that?" the doctor replied.
The man scowled. "Oh no, don't you start ..."
The Cricket and the Ant
were living in the same field. The Ant was a hard-working fella, always taking care of his foodstuff and long family. The Cricket, however cared only about divertissement - he was a musician himself. He spent much of his time around the bar and skirts.
The Summer was hot, and after a long busy day, the Ant went to the bar to throw in a well-deserved cold beer. There he met the Cricket who wa
TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.
He has no moth and he must scream.
I couldnt figure out why the cricket ball kept getting larger
Then it hit me.
Whats big, grey and scares the shit out of magpies?
The Melbourne Cricket Ground on AFL Grand Final Day
Whats this difference between Kris Jenner and a cricket ball?
If you try really, really hard, you can eat a cricket ball.
Blacks are excellent at sports like cricket, baseball etc.
Because they're good at hitting and running away.
My wife and I were sitting in our living room in silence looking at our phones...
We heard a cricket outside and she looked at me and said "I heard a cricket chirping, but you didn't tell a joke"
I got a good look at that new Don Bradman Cricket game
Oddly enough I couldn't find a single bug
What do you call a Disney character who just wants to take over the world?
A new DC storyline involves the Dark Knight being kidnapped by a cricket team...
After being told he escaped the locked room, the Boss screamed "Howzat happen?"
I was writing new jokes, the quality felt terrible but then it came to me..
and I finally caught the cricket!
If I Would Stand Outside At Night And Shout "I Am Horny Any Female Around?"
**I'll Probably Get Arrested, But The Cricket Does It Every Night and nobody minds**
(nsfw) How do you stop 12 Indian men from raping a visiting tourist?
hand them Cricket Equipment and a map to the nearest pitch. Also 200 energetic cows just to be sure.
How to break up like a pro
Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people being your back.
Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?
You and me love?! We're like six balls in cricket, OVER!!
I'm leaving you on religious grounds. I've decided to being a Jew, and you're a fucking pig.
Long Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives...
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.
One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved cricket all our lives, and we played cricket on Saturdays together for so many years.
Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's bat and ball there."
Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mik
Fck cheesy chat-up lines, we need better break-up lines:
Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back.
Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?
I didn't know angels flew this close to the ground. Maybe that's because this angel's gained a little weight since we started going out.
You and me love, we're like six balls in cr
For the Aussies amp cricket fans A guy goes to the doctor...
...Doctor: what’s the matter?
Patient: doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my ass (arse for the Aussies)
Doctor: how’s that?
Patient: don’t you start
This guy tried to sell me his idea of a cricket field lit by LED lights.
It was an interesting pitch.
A cricket is in love with a mantis
but he's terrified, because he keeps hearing that a mantis will eat the male after sex. Nevertheless, one night the cricket gets really drunk and propositions the mantis. The two have amazing sex all night long, but in the morning the cricket comes to his senses and starts eyeing the mantis warily.
"What's wrong?" asks the mantis.
"Well, I don't
Stormy Daniels should quit being a pornstar
And become a cricket captain for Australia, since she can tamper balls so well
A fast food restaurant introduced their new cricket based burger meal.
What's the difference between Cinderella and the Australian Cricket team?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
I'm going to apply for the job as Australia's next cricket captain.
I've been ball tampering for years and never got caught.
The australian cricket team
Whats the difference between your mum and a cricket pitch?
I cant catch anything when I’m inside a cricket pitch.
The Pakistani cricket team walk into a bar...
to watch the Indian Premier League
Why are Australians so good at cricket?
Criminals have a hit-and-run mindset
This sikh man (called sardarji, and a butt of jokes in india) is going on a company tour.
he has noticed his wife looking longingly at the young boys playing cricket, and the boys playing cricket looking lustlily at his wife.
but now he is required to go on a three day tour, and leave his wife alone. he is sure that the wife will call the boys up for sex, and that there will be a lot of sex. so he comes up with a plan.
he says to his wife, "do you know
A cricket walks into a bar...