Corrupt

Jokes

A lady at Wholefoods was trying to convince me that all doctors are corrupt and vaccines cause autism...

I said “I’m sorry, I don’t have the energy to argue with 3 people right now”

“But it’s just me here” she replied.

I said “No, mam. It’s you, Dunning & Kruger”

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A lady at Wholefoods was trying to convince me that all doctors are corrupt and vaccines cause autism...

I told her “I really don’t have the energy to argue with all three of you right now”

“But it’s just me here” she said.

I said “No, mam. It’s you, Dunning & Kruger”

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Corrupt people and tampon thieves are very similar

Both love to pull some strings

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A banana goes to her psychologist appointment.

She lies down on the chair, and starts describing his week.

"Oh, doctor, my life is in shambles. My ex-wife got custody of our youngest child, and the older one didn't invite me to his wedding. My boss constantly sexually harasses me and I can't say anything because I'll be fired if I do! The police in this town are so corrupt they'd just take a bribe if I acc


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The AI has improved so much that it can now complete all tasks without me telling them.

Seriously, I just read something on my PC like System is corrupt and ransomewhere.

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A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout,

“Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other senators demand that the angry member withdraw his statement or be removed for the remainder of the session. After a moment to think, the angry senator apologizes. “I’m sorry,” he says. “What I meant to say was half of this Senate is not made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!


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We call slave owners, corrupt. We call rapists, criminal. What do we call someone that is both a slave owner and a rapist?

A founding father of the United States

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A racist, a pathological liar, a tax fraud, a serial adulterer, a sexual predator, an internet troll, a draft dodger, a corrupt politician and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

They all thought I was talking about Donald Trump too.

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A racist, a con artist, a tax fraud, a pathological liar, a serial adulterer, a sexual predator, a draft dodger, an internet troll, a corrupt politician, a Russian spy and a traitor walk into a bar.

They all thought I was talking about Donald Trump too.

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A corrupt politician manages to sneak a number of loopholes in to a new law that gave him ownership of several hotels in Seville and Valencia

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn decision

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What are corrupt cops

Just bunch of undercover criminals!

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So you think my lift company is corrupt?

Well, I'm taking you down!

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What do Climate Change, Over-Population, and Corrupt Inefficient Systems have in common?

They don't exist.

EDIT: They exist.

EDIT: They don't exist.

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I think this lift building company is corrupt...

...and I believe it goes all the way to the top.

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We need to get money out of politics

It's going to corrupt the money

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Why is Antarctica the least corrupt continent?

Because it has justice

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If we arrested all of the US' Corrupt Politicians...

We wouldn't have anyone to vote for in November.

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If we arrested all of the corrupt republican politicians

We wouldn't need to have mid terms in November.

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I painted my computee black so it would run faster.

Now it doesn't work.

Then I painted my computer white so it would work.

Now the whole system is corrupt.

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Its a slow night at the bar, when in walks narcissist, a millionaire, and a corrupt politician.

The bartender says “good evening Mr. President”.

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Ask not what your country can do for you..

because it’s too corrupt to of much help.

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I painted my computer black so it would run faster.

Now it doesn't work.

Then I painted my computer white so it would work.

Now the whole system is corrupt.

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You can tell monarchies are pretty corrupt...

they have nepotism written all over them

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The situation down south is too much

People unhappy, wanting to leave their country and come over to ours like they're entitled to it, corrupt law forces and an all around mess. As a Canadian this is too much

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If I had a dollar for every corrupt politician...

I could probably buy one of them out in Congress.

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Corrupt God

About 4,000 years ago:

God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!

Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*

God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!

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This is how I know the justice system is corrupt, I got charged with statutory rape..

[deleted]

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Trumpty Dumpty

Trumpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty fired them all!

All of the NRA and all corrupt men

couldn't put the Cabinet back together again!

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What did the corrupt cop with the computer science degree say to the black suspect?

Cryptocurrency

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How many Trump supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You think Hillary and her husband change lightbulbs? They’re actually very corrupt politicians.

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What do you call a corrupt politician?

Just a politician

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I've compiled an expos of the undeniable evidence that the Rio2016 Olympics are the most corrupt ever

*Post Removed due to copyright claim by the International Olympic Committee*

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What do you get when corrupt judges judge a boxing match ?

[deleted]

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What do you say when a corrupt Soviet takes a bathroom break right before war?

Now you're just Stallin.

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Would you be offended if I said...

Would you be offended if I said that I'm not voting for that white, elitist, pompous, corrupt, egomaniac that's going to ruin our country?

...or would you even know which candidate I'm talking about?

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A LAWYER AND A POLITICIAN

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.

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Just met Darth Vader's corrupt brother.

Taxi Vader

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What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera?

A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.

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I painted my computer black so it would run faster.

Now it doesn't work.

Then I painted my computer white so it would work.

Now the whole system is corrupt.

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TIL that Hillary Clinton is evil and corrupt, and that Bernie Sanders will win every remaining primary...

Just by reading Reddit.

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Did you hear about the new Die Hard where Willis Infiltrates a Corrupt Nunnery?

"*Bad Habits Die Hard.*"

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What do you call a Trump wall that's politically corrupt?

A gate.

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TIL of a Mexican man that single handedly broke down the countries corrupt police force.

[deleted]

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Why are the police so corrupt?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police.

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Sepp Blatter: Im not corrupt and ....

Sepp Blatter: I’m not corrupt and will go to heaven one day.

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Whats Darth Vaders corrupt brothers name?

Taxi Vader

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Summary of Europe in eight words

You didn't do anything about these corrupt men.

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A corrupt politician turns the power off in an orphanage.

What are they going to do, tell their parents?

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Every country needs a corrupt government

Otherwise, who would we blame for everything?

(I heard this joke from a comedian but forgot huhu)

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Wanna hear a joke?

Non-corrupt african government.

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