Correct

Jokes

62 of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital Loo-uh-vul, while 38 say Loo-ee-ville.

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

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Best way to learn about your problems is

Identify 1 mistake in your wife and ask her to correct it.
In response she will help you identify ALL of your problems, your parents problems, all of your relatives and your friends problems.

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What did the cumulus cloud say to the stratus cloud?

Why arent you precipitating?


(a joke me and my buddy came up with while driving. and its scientifically correct. lol)

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Joey and Katie are sitting in school,

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My DNA test proved my friends' theories correct.

I'm inherently both a Dick 'N' an Asshole.

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I once got slapped for calling two women hipsters.

I guess the politically correct term is combined twins.

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Im CDO

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What did Al Pacino have done to correct his vision?

Corneal Transplantino

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My wife just asked me if she looked fat..

This literally just happened...

My wife asked me if she looked fat after eating the biggest meal of our lives.

I said "no honey, you look great".

She said "Well you have to say that. If you didn't, I would have to kill you"

Apparently "I'd like to see your fat ass try" was not the correct response.


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Yo mama so fat .....

Flat earthers were correct before her burial

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Why wasnt my sister disgusted at my metapod using harden?

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I'm still upset they marked me wrong on my 7th grade history test on the question "what did they set up during the French Revolution?"

I maintain that "lots and lots of guillotines" is technically correct...

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A teacher asks the class Whats 119 1?

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What's the hardest answer to get correct in hangman? asked my nine year old...

I knew it would be JAZZ, but I wanted to play along, so I had a made a few guesses before starting in on the what I thought would be the correct letters. "Wrong" he said again and again until he drew the lifeless body. "Well, what is the answer?" I asked.

XYAK he wrote down. "That's not a word," I told him.

"I know. That why it'


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Hips don't lie.

Some woman went completely batshit on me in town today. All I said was that her kid was a 'right little hipster'. Apparently, the correct term is 'Conjoined twins'.

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A trick joke to bitch slap somebody long joke

For a friend you want to bitch slap or anybody for this matter. Front hand or backhand, it's your preference. You tell them if they want to hear a joke or if they have yet to hear it, the joke about a pimp and his THREE hoes. So it goes like this:

So their was a pimp walking down a block that he had THREE hoes working on. The THREE hoes were spread apart on the block. Each one of


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Why is Dark spelled with a K but not a C?

Because its correct English, you idiot.

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Apparently I angered Two people Today by calling them "Hipsters"

Although I think the correct term is "conjoined twins"

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Today I angered two people by calling them "hipsters"

Apparently, the correct term is "conjoined twins"

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I don't care if what I'm about to say isn't "political correct", but...

Gay guys are fucking assholes!

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I didnt know it was offensive to call people hipsters

Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

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It's insensitive to call disabled twins "handicapped"

The correct term is "impaired".

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I hate people who correct mine grammar.

Edit: Sorry my not mine

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The Christian says: The Jews and Muslims are wrong.

The Muslim says: “The Christians and Jews are wrong.”

The Jew says: “The Muslims and Christians are wrong.”

The Atheist says: “You *all* are *correct*.”

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The man that invented auto correct

should burn in hello.

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The correct spelling is SCHOOL not SCHOOL.

Some people put the second O before the first O which is absolutely wrong.

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So retarded is not the correct thing to say...

Repelled is the grammatically correct term.

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I was talking to a couple of 20 year olds

I was talking to couple of 20 year olds the other day and called them "hipsters." They got pretty upset.
Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins.

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The 4th of July

The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.

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An Israeli and his Czech friend were wandering through the forest when a bear reared up and ate the Czech guy.The Jewish guy ran to the nearest Ranger office,to report what happened. The ranger went off in his truck and returned shortly with two bears in cages in the back.

‘These are the only two bears in the vicinity can you identify which one ate your friend?’ The ranger asked
‘How could I recognize which bear is which?’ Said the fellow
‘Well,’ countered the Ranger’ One is a male bear and the other a female, maybe when the bear reared up to eat your friend you saw some junk or not’
‘ You&rsquo


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My uncle says he is going to knock one out whenever he does his woodwork designs

I can’t bear to correct him that it is slang these days...

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Looking for a politically correct version of a racist joke

There is a very racist joke that goes, "You can give a \[n-word\] a suit and an education, but at the end of the day, he is still a \[n-word\]." I have been searching on google to find an alternate version of this joke that does not perpetuate any racism or hate. Does anyone know a politically correct version of this joke? Or something else we can use instead of the n-word?


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A group of men have a small competition in an overcrowded changing room

It's about guessing how many other naked men are in there, just by a quick glance.

The first few start, everyone turning around themself over the right shoulder, scanning the room. They all make their suggestions.

Finally it's the turn of the last man of the group, and he just makes a quick pirouette turning to the left, and confidently says: "34".


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Correct this sentence: A man runs by a campsite

It’s “A man *ran* by a campsite” because it’s past tents

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My math teacher told me I need to do more exercises with fractions

I don’t understand why, I had 4/3 of the questions correct

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Which is correct: I can write with both of my arms, or I can write with all of my arms.?

It depends where you are. In the UK, for example, you would use “both,” while in Chernobyl, you would use “all.”

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Im Blonde, Im beautiful, and Im going to New York

There was a woman on a flight to New York, her ticket was for coach but she was in first class. A member of the cabin crew had realised that her ticket was for coach, so he goes up to the woman and kindly asks her to move to her correct seat, she responds with “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York. Another member of the cabin crew asks her kindly to move, ag


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Auto Correct

Text to Neighbor:

​

Hi Fred, this Richard next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you face to face. at least I'm telling you in this text and I can't live with myself a minute longer without your knowing this.

&#


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A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them.

To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isnt entirely correct, because sometimes its gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If g


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There are 10 kinds of people in the world

\- Those who thought this was a base 2 joke
\- Those who thought this was a base 3 joke
\- Those who thought this was a base 4 joke
\- Those who thought this was a base 5 joke
\- Those who thought this was a base 6 joke
\- Those who thought this was a base 7 joke
\- Those who were correct because octal rules.


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If we don't proofread and correct mistakes

The errorists win.

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Pissed off 2 people today by calling them Hipsters.

Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins.

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WHO DISCOVERED AMERICA?

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

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What is the correct term for a woman who like sex and fucks all the guys she knows?

Your mom

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I pissed off two people today by calling them hipsters.



Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

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I pissed off two people today by calling them hipsters.



Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

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I am about to graduate in philosophy. What do you philosophers work on?

Whoops wrong sub.

Nevermind I'm in the correct sub, thought it was r/AskPhilisophy for a second.

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Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America

Maria: Here it is.

Teacher: Correct. Now, Class, who discovered America?

Class: Maria

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There are three people who die and go to heaven: a teacher, construction worker, and a lawyer

St. Peter greets them and says "Here's the thing: heaven is becoming overcrowded, so in order to get in, you have to answer the one question I give you correctly. If you don't, you go to hell."

The teacher decides to go first; she walks up to St. Peter, and asks "What is my question?"

St. Peter doesn't mind having a teacher there, so he


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A teacher asks the class what 10020 is

Timmy answers: 5!

The teacher says he's correct.

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